When was the last time your cuckoo clock said "don't forget"?
by 
Dean Freakman
ANSWERS: 2
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When I forgot to take my meds.
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When I left it at a pawn shop in St.Louis.
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Lilo Avli They have porn shops in St. Louis ? Why has no one ever told me this ? -
Ice man I find your lack of ability to comprehend the difference between no one and no-one, intolerable. Have you been taking lessons in speaking "American" ? -
Lilo Avli Sup. I've been hanging around Y'all, chatting to so many awesome Canadians, that something bad was bound to happen. Have no fear, my good man, for this afternoon one is attending Her Majesty's Royal Garden Party at the Palace, and that should jolly well help to sort me out. Awesome.
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Ice man I'll watch for the action news video at 6 pm.
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Lilo Avli I'll wave to you.
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Ice man No need, I'll know it's you when I see old Liz toss you out through the gates, by the scruff of your neck and the seat of your pants .. er.. that is if you're wearing any...
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Lilo Avli How dare you suggest Our Great Majesty tossed me off thru Buckingham Palace gates ! That was Camilla. And I shall be wearing my best floral print dress as usual. With underwear, too. Orf to the tower with you.
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Ice man Speaking of Camelzilla, When the time comes, why don't they just give her the crown instead of giving it to Chaz ? Clearly she wears the pants and he wears the frilly panties.
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Lilo Avli I'll notify the relevant authorities and ask for a referendum.
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Ice man While you're at it, better ask for a new "Russian Missile-proof" bomb shelter.
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Lilo Avli I'll just close my eyes, so they can't see me.
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Ice man Sounds like that idea worked in Syria ..
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Lilo Avli Works everywhere. Except for Alaska and Papua New Guinea.
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Ice man Now why do you suppose that is ?
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Lilo Avli Probably something to do with genetics. The inhabitants there can only close one eye at a time, and have trouble breeding sheep.
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Ice man Maybe we should send them some rubber boots to help them with the breeding. It worked in Newfoundland.
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Lilo Avli How ?
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Ice man It's really simple. First they put the boots on, then they stick the sheep's hind legs into the boots too. That way the sheep can't run away while they're being bred.
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Lilo Avli Oh, that's very creative. We do a similar thing here, with our aristocracy and their offspring. Called incense, or something. Apparently it smells real nice, before, during and after.
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Ice man Do you get it in stick or block form ? I prefer scandalwood. ..
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Lilo Avli My particular preference is Santacum. I get it in red and white form, but only once a year, and dependent on me being a very good boy.
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Ice man Sounds like the aftershave lotion my dad used.
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Lilo Avli It worked on your Mom, right ?
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Ice man Yes, it drove her straight into the arms of that Italian gigolo.
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