Thank you - that to me is a hero.

Thank you. Yes I have stressed that to him but the way he thinks he needs to feel himself like a hero.

In that case, tell him to stop listening to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWcASV2sey0 and start listening to this instead https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dq4aOaDXIfY

Very true, I agree. Thank you.

Thank you but seems rather limited and defeatist. My husband has a successful business and does not commit crimes. No does not like to kill things and yes he has two daughters from his previous marriage. I work weekdays and make a good salary so we share the bill paying. He was raised to "do great things" and so really thinks in those terms so when I tell him how great I think he sort of waves it aside as just a weak compliment. He expects more of himself than I do. He more views sex as something he does (or did) for me.

Point out to him that his life can never be good if he refuses to admit it.

Ice man thank you for reading my posts. No "dalliances" are ever "equal" - he was brought up rather "straight-laced" and not to "dally" so ironically I have encouraged his activity in part to assuage my own guilt and have even looked for and found partners for him. This has happened more than a few times. Then he feels so responsible for them that he can't do enough for them. He knows he is not and will not be alone because we are best friends. But yes he feels our sexual relationship must not have been that special for me because he sees me as "doing better" who yes I enjoy but would never choose to be married to. Where I went wrong was expecting too much of him sexually too soon in our relationship - which of course he took as a challenge which he handled very well from almost the first time to my great relief - but - because he never considered his own enjoyment enough (except on some occasions) it became just something he did for me and eventually more work than love or enjoyment. Especially when he is seeing others who require less in terms of effort. Very perceptive comment Ice man. Much more I could say but probably too personal for this public forum. On the former site we could chat privately with one another which I miss here.

I respect your comments as well as understand what you mean, and agree about this not being private. I too miss the private mail feature, maybe with a little luck we'll have it here sometime in the future. ; )

Hope so, thank you.