by 
sloroller
ANSWERS: 18
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Excuse me Mam! I went to doctor this morning as I was having SEVERE headache....
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if you are getting out of work and have kids tell them your kid is running a fever and the day care will not take them if they have a fever
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I was driving to work, when the car was raided by a giant shrew. It clawed the car and I narrowly escaped. I manage to get here though, after shooting that vermin in the arse.
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What I have heard over the years and what seemed to work best from top to bottom: 1. taking the kids to school 2. traffic 3. car accident
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I poisoned myself through osmosis by working on my vehicle. My boss didn't believe me but loved the creativity.
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My co-worker, Steve, called in the other day and said his buddy, Mark walked in on his (Mark's) wife with another guy on top of her in their bed. He needed Steve to come over immediately because he had her and the guy locked up in the basement and needed help emptying the house of everything he's ever bought, which was everything. They also used the guy's F-150 to do some of the moving. His call-in was excused!
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Global warming!!!
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The truth yo...
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the traffic on "insert route" was so clogged up for some reason... always lol
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I'm a slob
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oops
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People kind of expect me to be late now, so I rarely have to explain. Isn't that sad?
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If you are going to lie.....blame Bush!! Tell them you couldn't afford to fill your tank because gas prices are too high (because of Bush) and you ran out of gas.
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I am very rarely late if I give a specific time. Beware if I say -ish with the time... That gives me a 30 minute leeway (15 before or after) If I am late, I have a good reason and use it. I, eventually, lose respect for people who are not only consistently late but give me a BS reason why. (whether it be true or not)
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Well this isn't mine, but once my SUPERVISOR(!) called in late because her dishwasher was broken. Her husband had started it and she had to put it through the cycle by turning the dial by hand. Why she couldn't just stop it and finish the cycle when she got home I'll never figure out. She was 2 hrs late!
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I have always been at the top of the list in: 1. attendance 2. performance 3. making work/school of prime importance, and, present proof that a family/medical problem took place requiring my immediate attendance.
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I once got away with being 1 and a half hours late because my fire alarm was broken and I had to wait for the police :/
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i got stuck behind the rubbish truck, and as it was a one way street i couldnt turn round.
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