I really don't know... I would be very disturbed, very concerned. Although, I think I am not the right person to make any judgements about his potential for violence etc based on fantasies. The thing is, I have read that it is not unheard of for many women to fantasise about being raped. Now these women DON'T want to be raped, and they themselves are disturbed by their fantasies. So, I suppose that the same could be true if a man has sometimes fantasised about raping a woman - the rape a symbol of being dominant, or powerful, or whatever it may be. I think at the time, I would talk to him about it - probably searching for him to make a comment that he was ashamed or disgusted or something. I wouldn't want to think bad of him.

I would not react much at all. Fantasies are just that. Chexie, our early ancestors probably had no more advanced courtship rituals than baboons or chimpanzees have today. If the female is emitting pheromones and signals that say she is "ready" and ovulating, it is pretty much just grab and f**k. Humans have evolved more "sophisticated" rituals, but the basic instincts are still there. And, speaking of females, why do so many women admit fantasizing about being raped? Of course, none would say they would like it to actually happen in reality. See what I am getting at? We all fantasize. The old primitive brain is alive and well. Personally, the idea of taking by force is not appealing to me. I am a romanticist...by admission. I have to have the personal relationship or it just doesn't work. But, I have my fantasies like all men do...(wouldn't it be great to have just a quickie one night stand with that young babe...no questions asked?) So, now you know,...I am just a grubby male animal like all the rest. I just hide it better...(lol)

I wouldn't be surprised. Everyone has their own fantasy. If yours is nothing more potentially offensive than an open window and a down comforter, fine... but we're not all so conservative. And fantasies are just that - fantasy. It's not real. And many times, the fantasy a person has is so far away from something that could happen in reality they would never act upon it to begin with. It's just something to think about during 3AM bouts of insomnia.

Fantasy is fantasy. We seem to me moving into an era when the concept of thought-crime is becoming current. Certainly the UK has recently introduced some crazy legislation where you could hold a particular type of film on your computer which would be entirely legal, but if you removed a particular clip from it and stored it separately in order to give sexual pleasure you could be imprisoned. The forces of repression are gathering.

Hmm.. Rape fantasies are very common. Both men and women have them, and it's in most cases not something they want to go for in real life. It's fantasy. So with most people those fantasies are very harmless. But not in all cases. Let's not forget that all rapists had fantasies as well, but they eventually choose to act on them! And not seldom do they seem like happy, content, reliable family men, like you describe. If someone would confess those fantasies to me, I would ask more about it. And, in what way is he confessing this to me? Does it seem like he is trying to relieve a big burden from his chest, something that obviously is stressing him out? In that case, I think it's very important to go more into depth with this person. How deep are those feelings? Are they just innocent bedroom-game fantasies he feels a bit guilty about, or is this something that goes way deeper and is much more dark and serious? If the last thing is the case, this person definitely needs help. Obviously he feels the need to talk about it, otherwise he wouldn't confess it. I would urge him to find professional help, and have a very close eye on him on how he's dealing with it. In many cases, like I said, rape fantasies are just harmless fantasies. But someone confessing to something like that could give out a huge warning sign. I hope my instincts and human knowledge is big enough to filter out if there is something behind it or not.

A difficult one! Thoughts are just thoughts, after all, but i would still feel a little disturbed by hearing that. I think though that the fact that he disclosed this information about himself to you, makes it all the more unlikely that he would act on such fantasies. For him to tell you that, i get the impression that he needed to get it off his chest because it distresses him in some way (just my opinion, i'm no expert on such matters). I'd say that it's the ones who keep these thoughts to themselves (and don't find them upsetting) that you'd really need to worry about.

I would accept it. Everybody, whether they like to admit it or not, fantasises about doing outrageous things from time to time. Like shooting their boss. Or murdering the next door neighbour but very, very, very, rarely does any one carry these fantasies out. It's part of the human thought processes.