ANSWERS: 13
  • Write him a letter if you have the need to contact him and tell him what is on your mind. He may respond and he very well may not. It all depends on how he feels about you and whether or not he really wants to be bothered with you. After you write him the letter, wait a few days- If you dont hear from him, then just let the whole situation go and forget about him. You can continue to waste your time and energy on someone who does not want to be around you, but WHY? In the end you will only be in the same place later as you are now. Get over him and move on.
  • Move on. Or you could try sending him a letter/e-mail as Jack has suggested. Depending on how bad the break up was/the kind of guy your ex is, this may not be such a good idea. Keep in mind that anything you put in writing may come back to haunt you. A guy I used to date had an ex-girlfriend that was ummm. . .well, a little unbalanced and she would send him these long letters and they ended up making the rounds at social gatherings much to her humiliation. That wasn't a nice thing for him to do, but he did it. The other part of that was she would constantly call and drive by his house. He considered a restraining order, but decided to be fair and warn her first. She ceased trying to contact him. You have to think carefully on this one. If he doesn't want you to contact him, he doesn't. Period. Move on and find a new guy that will take your phone calls. As Jack said, why waste the time and energy. Now, if you're pregnant or you two have a child together and you need to contact him over such a matter you would be best to do so through an attorney. Or if he owes you money or some of your personal belongings back, send him a registered or certified letter requesting the return of the money and/or items. Something like: Dear Ex-Boyfriend On 2 March 2005 you borrowed $50 and agreed to pay it back. You have 10 days from the reciept of this letter to pay me in full or I will consider taking legal action. or You have (list all the items you wish returned to you) and I expect to have these items returned to me in good condition, at this location, 10 days from the receipt of this notice or I will consider taking legal action. If it's worth the time and effort you can file against him in small claims court. I tried to cover a lot here since your question does not state WHY you have a need to contact your ex. Hope this helps.
  • Why do you need to see him? Wouldn't a letter or email suffice? If he doesn't answer - you have to move on. Chasing after someone who doesn't want you (and doesn't even want to speak to you), will not make them change their mind. If you can't move on and can't stop thinking about him - I recommend reading some self-healing books (The Rules is very good) or joining a self-help group for women in your situation. Good luck.
  • I think you really need to think about why it is so important to see him. What may seem like a world stopping situation to you, might not mean anything at all to him. I know this because when I was going through a break-up period with who is now my ex-husband, I tried like crazy to get in contact with him about things that were important to me, but it only pushed him away further because he ws just not interested in dealing with it then. He has since told me that if I would have given him space, and waited until he was ready, it could have been something he considered listening to. If there is anyway that it can wait, let him know that it is important to you, and that when he is ready that you would like to discuss it. If it is urgent, consider the advise about contacting a lawyer, writing a letter, or you could try contacting someone that you can trust that knows both of you that might be willing to mediate. Best of Luck.
  • Stop calling him. I was in the same situation 3 weeks ago with my ex boyfriend. He will not answer if he doesn't want to talk to you or discuss what has happened between the two of you. If he wants to talk he will call you, wait and see if that happens (trust me, men have no shame and will do whatever it is they want whenever they want...even if that means calling out of the blue months later). Don't chase him anymore, I did that weeks ago and got no response b/c my ex simply didnt want to talk. It only pushed him further away and made me feel pathetic everytime he didn't answer. Please don't put yourself through that, if he's not answering or responding to your very first phonecall after a breakup then he's showing you that he doesn't want to talk yet and will not feel sorry for you and pick up. Good Luck!
  • Ok dont call him , by calling him your letting him think your not getting passed this . By not calling he is more likly to sit down and reflect and think about the situation . I did this harrowed him for two weeks , him not anserwing killed me . One day i thought sod this if he thinks that little of me i will leave him alone. Low and behold one week later he was calling me , but by this time i had time ti reflect , and thought sod you bye bye.....
  • I've tried. It's hard. Maybe call a mutual friend and tell them what the deal is??
  • sorry only just ralised you posted this march 05 ...oooops bit late am guessing your well over him or back with him sorry
  • I have been through this and it sounds like you are at the beginning and are feeling desperate. You think that if you could just say one more thing or get him to look you in your eyes, he will remember that he loves you and take you back. That is probably why he is avoiding you. This pain sucks, but you need to keep going and let him go. You will find someone that loves you in return and this relationship will pale in comparison. It took me nearly a year to feel "healed" from my last bad break up, but I got over it and have been happily married for over 4 years now. It WILL get better.
  • Nothing - he's your ex. Look to the future, somebody else will turn up - fish in the sea, pebbles on the beach - cliches but true
  • Stop calling him. If he wants to talk to you, he will. My ex pulled that on me and didn't take my calls for like 3 months. Not until school got back in and we started hanging out and being normal did he even want to talk to me.
  • Leave him alone...if he wants to be with you, he would have called. If you make yourself look desperate, he will think that you are pathetic. If he really cares about you he will call you back after he has had time to miss you or put things into perspective. If he out of the blue stopped taking your calls then you need to think... Is he someone you really want to be with? Act like you dont care. Dont sweat it. Go out with friends and look good. If he sees you and sees that you are doing fine with out him and looking good...he is going to try to come back cause he will not want anyone else to be with you. Thats when you can make him go through what he put you through. But!!!!! whatever you do DONT TAKE HIM BACK THAT EASY!!! You will only look desperate and he will do it again. Trust me on this. If he doesnt come back....move on. It hurts to think about it, but really heals. I came out of a 4year relationship and I was a pathetic mess. Now i am so happy not to have him in my life.
  • Go to his house.

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