I say fake it till you make it. If you act happy, even if you are pretending, staying positive will help you to become so.

it is a proven fact that it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile. Sometimes in life, making the effort seems sluggish and beyond what we can handle. I say, choosing positivity/ negativity is a choice either way. It is clearly work to see the silver lining when your life is far from paradise. But yet, when the going gets really rough, what have you to gain by embracing your 'half empty glass' philosophy? If the human ego wants to choose suffering and misery, then that is empty and dark. We must choose life. We are alive - even on the worst day - we are alive. We must remember to breathe, take one step forward, and know that things turn on a dime. We have to recognize that we can't always control what happens in our lives, but we can certainly control how we respond to them. Coming from a place of consistent integrity and character brings strength and goodness into our lives. Being present in our lives. It seems like the most simple, basic thing in the world. This is the sort of new age thinking that is a gigantic industry and that is healing souls. Why don't we know this??? We get so caught up in our pasts and in our futures, we lose the present moment. We get weighed down by ideas and labels and judgments.... forgetting that we have enough control of ourselves to move forward. I don't know if I call it "pretending" - I say that I will myself to make my every moment productive and well-lived. Or at least try. I fail sometimes, as nobody is perfect. I expect my moment of indulging a failure, embrace it, and try to let go. I try to live by actions and surround myself in people whose actions mirror a healthy, balanced, forward-motion lifestyle.

Freddy Mercury from the band Queen always said that he never saw himself as anything but famous... He was a gawky un attractive kid that always knew and therefore always behaved as though he was famous and life and the universe followed suit. But happy... Im afraid that he just couldn't pull that one off. Happiness is a tricky one. It is hard when life has beat you down so harsh and hard and on such a constant. I have pretended myself into a lot of corrective stances pretended myself into a lot of positions and it works because all you really have to do it do anything with intent and it will become... but happiness... I tend to agree with Sartre on that one. "One does not necessarily require it in order to be happy."

How can you be so sure they're pretending? I have never consciously "pretended" anything. Maybe if they are pretending, they are doing it so loved ones won't worry about them. I always take the positive view..if someone asks how I am I always say "I'm fine" because that's the major truth of it..if I have an occasional ache or pain or twinge, I don't dwell on it so why should I worry someone with it? :) ((hugs))

That's me!! I don't say I "pretend" to be happy, but I would rather put it this way- cover up my sorrows and give a optimistic view. I don't know why, but I never liked to share my sorrows. In fact, I can always cope up with them and tackle them and console myself!! And yes, it is a positive thought-being able to fight back at your obstacles with a smiling heart :)

It is so painful to do so. I had to fix a smile on my face during my marriage so my mom wont be worried, hoping that my husband would change. I am an open book and easy to read person, and pretending was a pure torture.

I have to agree with [ larmes ] and that is a perfect reason why not to pretend you're happy and every thing's going great when it's not. Many abused women do this and keep getting abused and some end up dead, and all the time friends and family believe them to be the "prefect couple." This may be an extreme example, but I don't believe it's good or even necessary to pretend to be anything but what you are.

When I have done this sweetcakes, it hasn't been to portray myself falsley. I've had to do it with my line of work. I'm a nurse and I can't deal or take care of patients by exposing my true feelings all the time. For example, if I feel sad and depressed, I can't walk into a patient's room looking that way because I am responsible for conveying a positive cheerful attitude even when I don't feel like it. I've made myself smile many times when entering a patients room. Now, to the other side of your question. I agree with you that if you are with other people socially or whatever and you try to put on a front of being happy and cheerful all the time when this is not really how you feel...yes, it is a portrayal of thought. I don't like this either. It's phony and it just plain takes too much energy to be phony. Personally, when I'm down in the dumps, etc., I'd rather just be by myself so that I don't have to get into the phoniness. Thanks for the question.

because of current medical probs i find that the fake it till u make it saying reflects me. though it doesn't work all the time, the times it does work brings me out of a possible bad slump

I don't have to pretend to be happy. Granted, it is the result of positive thinking, but it's certainly not pretending. I AM as happy as I can possibly be at the present time! There's no reason for me to be miserable. I AM "a survivor". In June, 2001 I was declared dead on the operating table. Why shouldn't I be happy? Thanks for asking your Q! I enjoyed answering it! VTY, Ron Berue Yes, that is my real last name! Sources: On a regular, dependable basis, I volunteer at Magee Rehabilitation Hospital 1513 Race Street Philadelphia, PA. "THE University of Hard Knocks" also known as ("a/k/a") "life's valuable lessons"