ANSWERS: 26
  • Never badmouth your ex to anyone for any reason..especially be kind about your ex when your children are around. Nothing is to be gained by complaining, telling intimate details, or "telling it like it is". The only reason for that would be self-serving..that he/she was the bad guy and you were the victim. Knock it off..grow up...be silent. You will never regret taking the high ground..you will always regret the unkind things you say..and your children may never forgive you. :(
  • Get some counselling, and follow RosieGHM Jetpacker 's advice. You can't get better.
  • Keep it amicable, especially if there are minor children involved. Don't retain lawyers unless absolutely necessary they thrive on bad break ups.
  • 1st, sorry things didn't work out. 2nd, walk away from this matter knowing and believing in your heart that you've done all that you could and it still didn't work. walk away with your head held high and keep pushing forward. never, ever, look back.....take time to heal any "war" wounds you may have.....make the next 6months-1year about you.......and nothing else. life is to short to live it unhappy so start doing what makes YOU happy and the rest will fall into place. just keep your faith and good things will happen.
  • Keep your heart strong for the children, Try and keep things civil for all those involed:)
  • hurry up with the divorce and never get re married it causes too much heart ache when things go wrong
  • I would tell them to think twice before they do something wrong.
  • Fix yourself before getting into a new relationship. Make time for you, to do things you enjoy.
  • I'd say pay attention to your perspective on it after the fact. If you've done all you can on your side of the marriage, shake it off and remember practice in relationships "make perfect". Make some adjustments and move on. Don't let anybody tell you it was a failure, rather than a successful way of learning and growing and becoming somebody new.
  • I try to limit my advice in this area since I have no experience in it.
  • DO NOT USE the children to upset the other parent. Totally unfair to the children/child!!!!! +5
  • go through the mourning process that feels right to you and do not stifle anything. look at what you have done to cause it.... brain storm to think of everything you might be at fault for. THEN look at what they did to cause it and decide how much fault you actualy had in the failure. learn from those assessments and... NEVER LOOK BACK!!!! make it as clean as you can, most of the time with chidlren it is not possible. I got lucky, his mother realizes her instability makes me able to give him a better life without her
  • keep an open mind...communicate...love your children enough not to include them in the divorce..IE: don't use them in your battles. Be the better person even if it means swallowing anger...don't yell or fight..it only makes things worse...and most of all don't be petty...things and money can be replaced...your children can't! I used the same lawyer and it cost us less...and we fought less...and only ONE lawyer got semi rich off of our demise instead of two...Lawyers are not in it for your best interest...they want to make money...thats what they do...and they will drag it out for as long as you shell it out.
  • There is life after divorce -- I promise.
  • I would tell them to get as much cash from bank accounts, valuables out of house, sell as much as you can prior to filing for a divorce. Once filed everything freezes, retirement, bank accounts, insurance, and all property is community property and cannot be disposed of until separation of property in divorce proceedings. By the way, this is in Texas.
  • Relax and enjoy the movie: "The War of the Roses." http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098621/
  • Take the high road publicly but be read to fight in the trenches. Keep your own council. Do not drag in children, relatives or friends. The he said she said stuff is ugly and serves little purpose. Sometimes it is difficult to do this because some will assume your silence is an admittance of guilt. In the end though actions speak louder than words. Taking the high road here is best. Keep detailed records. Don't do anything silly. Take time to regroup and recover after the divorce. Make sure you are safe.
  • See, it really isn't "till death do us part." Don't rush into another relationship. Take time to get to know you again. Date if you want, but play it loose and easy, you do not "need" someone else.
  • try to be civil. if you have kids just try to have goodsense as far as custody is concerned and explain to them it isn't their fault.
  • get a good lawyer get everything in writing liquidate all assets sever all contact with spouse except through a lawyer strive for a quick, painless divorce case get divorced and completely sever all ties if possible (If kids are involved, well then you'll probably have to skip all of this advice and go straight to the "you're gonna get screwed bigtime" procedures.)
  • We're all very different but, if you're unhappy, no amount of money should keep you in the relationship. You're freedom to be happy is precious.
  • While getting the divorce, try to keep things civil and keep the attorneys out of it.
  • http://tinyurl.com/DivorceFirstAidKit
  • Learn from your mistakes...like getting married...just kidding!
  • if you have kids think one last time.
  • Keep your head up, keep yourself busy and do not let it affect your future relationships

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