ANSWERS: 7
  • Why do people hate you for being nice? Because they are being stupid. There are people who go to school or have gone to school with me that hate me. They hate me for dumb reasons that don't even matter. I never did anything wrong to them. I was just nice and accepted them for who they are. What do I get? I get called boring. I get hated. I get told that no one wants to listen to me. I get told other things that aren't so nice. If I really think about it, though, it's only a few people who are rude to me. They just make it seem like there are so much more people because their words have such a big effect. It took me so long to just not care what they think, but I've succeeded for the most part. Pay attention to all the people who are nice to you and forget about the people who hate you for being nice. That's their problem. Not yours. They will probably be the people who will come to you a couple years later and apologize because they will realize just how cool you actually are and just how much they took you for granted. If they don't do this, they will probably be the people who will lie on their death bed thinking about all the people they need to apologize to before they die, and you will most likely be one of them. You may not believe this, but they are hurting themselves more than they are hurting you or will ever hurt you.
  • As you said, "It's high school" - where there are a LOT of people who are very insecure and full of fear about their own inadequacy. They cover this by being mean to others. It makes them feel (temporarily) adequate, but you need to know that the feeling doesn't last and they start feeling bad again. When Anonymous Girl says "it's their problem, not yours," that is literally true. It's really hard to realize that their own deficits are the root of their behavior, not you. It's also really hard to ignore them, especially if other people seem to listen to them - but try to do so. Their inadequacy will limit what they'll be able to accomplish in life. Your talent and niceness will work IN FAVOR OF what you'll be able to accomplish.
  • those people that hate you will learn someday. don't worry too much about them; i know it's hard, but once you're out of those four years, you will either go to college or start a job, and either way you won't have to deal with them everyday anymore. until then,remember that you're there for your education [though you may even question that at times it's worth it i promise] and stay close to your friends, they're a good support group. just continue being nice and a good person, it benefits others as well as yourself even though those people make it feel like a setback at times. remember you have your friends. and just keep going through with highschool. it's not forever and you can choose who you see afterwards. hopefully things turn out in your favor sooner than you expect all the best
  • I think you could reflect about this article, it may help you: "For many people, niceness is the accepted way of being and interacting. In this article I express the view that rather than facilitating psychological and relational health, niceness stands in the way of personal satisfaction and healthy relating. This formulation of niceness in which I outline its inherent conflict with authenticity is useful for working with some people who present for psychotherapy with depression, anxiety, addictions and relationship difficulties, problems not typically associated with the tyranny of niceness. From Niceness to Authenticity " "Through self-reflection and observations of others I made the connection between silencing/suppressing my authenticity and being nice. Later, I saw that the connection applied to many of my clients. I saw the same patterns: suppression of thoughts and feelings, deep wishes for acceptance with a concomitant fear of rejection or judgment, anxiety, depression, and erupting frustration. These features were bound together by guilt, shame and fear." Source and further information: http://www.psychotherapy.net/article/Niceness
  • The first person to answer this is very wise although the second person to answer this is also very right many people supress their real thoughts in an attempt to be nice and to fit in although why is it that genuinely nice people suffer the same consequences i for one feel exactly the same and i'm at university there was no problems at school because I was brainwashed into being a sheep like most people although now I choose not to lick peoples A***s to fit in and although I used to make fun of people very rarely I did this to comfort myself from guilt about how I really felt for them which was sorry now i'm old enough to make my own deciscions I choose to walk my own path and will talk to anyone who wishes to speak to me I also have a habbit of passing on my infectious smile which will always brighten up someones day if I can see they are feeling down I also talk to those who look lonely or look down to make them realise they do exist and I do care how others feel aswell as myself! this ignorance in other people seems to be a common problem which can often make you feel trapped ,alone do you find yourself apologising for things you think you've done wrong? when realistcally you haven't it is actually others that make you feel like this. if you do it's a very self destructive pattern which can lead to depression and also what seems to be self interrogation what is wrong with me? am i boring? why do I have to act like an a** to fit in? the one soloution I found is talk to your family and friends i'm sure they will tell you the truth about things also search google for Ian Brown's song F.E.A.R on myspace have a listen and remember one thing dont ever be too nice people it's a weakness people will spot it and begin to take advantage of you just be true to yourself you are more important than you will ever know no matter how lost or lonely you are life is hard I won't lie to you these are challanges you must overcome to move on do you ever remember losing something in your childhood for example a ball over a neighbours wall what did you do to be able to play again you either found a way to get it back by knocking and asking or climbing the wall or you simply got a new one the idea is if you need help ask if you can do this on your own climb the wall and if it really isn't that important get a new one but never ever ever give up! godbless our souls and thats is for all people of all religions
  • The opposite of love is not hate. It's indifference. Hatred, like love, is active, positive. Indifference, on the other hand, is passive, zero. You probably feel hated because you do not feel loved. In reality you probably confuse indifference towards you with hatred. At highschool, your colleagues tend to judge everyone to see where they themselves fit in. They base their judgements on "action". Often they misjudge, resulting in unnecessary hurt to someone. Since you have not given them a "cause" to lean positively towards you, they ignore you, which you quite wroingly interpret as "hate". My advice is to continue being the person you are. Do NOT change yourself merely to get "accepted". That would be disastrous. It's a phase you're going through, and we all went through it before. It'll pass with time, and you'll find that others will begin to see your positive points and will correspondingly change their attitude. DO NOT CHANGE YOURSELF TO PLEASE OTHERS. IT WILL GO AGAINST YOU. YOU'LL BE CAUGHT OUT IMMEDIATELY. :-)
  • If you think or act differently, prepare to be attacked. It's just how it is and it doesn't change as you get older, you just learn how to avoid those people.

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