When was the last time your table top said "hey hey"?
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ANSWERS: 6
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I don't own any talking furniture.
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Dean Freakman Well it's time you bought some.
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Nice one, Deano. Unfortunately, my table top caught fire, whilst I was making brownies and I dumped it in the Walmart car-park. Not had the time to buy a replacement and what the heck, I eat all my meals in front of the TV anyway. How's Denise?
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Dean Freakman
I don't see her anymore.
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When my boyfriend had put on a few pounds over Easter.
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You should talk to that Mircat person ... she just loves this type of question...
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Lilo Avli
You're like Donald J Trump and his Twitter .... firing off a few missiles and laughing as they explode. -
Ice man
Phuck no, I'm smarter than him, by at least two big spoons of gravy . I heard the news tonight, that the missiles were fired on Syria. You might want to go dig yourself a bomb shelter. Poutin should be in a fine state by now. -
Lilo Avli
Yes, thanks Canada, for your support. Pussies ! -
Ice man
I'm sure Justin will cry and apologize on Monday. Next he'll probably offer to give you 10 and a half million dollars, and you won't even have to give him any leaky submarines. Like last time. -
Lilo Avli
Tell him I'll accept the money. Yippee ! Fancy coming to the Bahamas with me ? You get first dibs on the bedroom. -
Ice man
Did you put a down payment on that leaky submarine ? -
Lilo Avli
No, I paid it all on my credit card. Gave them your name. Just bring your duct tape. If it's good enough for a fridge, it's good enough for a sub. -
Ice man
That's what I always say ... If you've got a tube of super glue and a roll of duct tape, there ain't nothing you can't fix.... -
Lilo Avli
What about Third World hunger ? -
Ice man
That requires more tape. -
Lilo Avli
Donald J Trump's hair ? -
Ice man
More super glue.. -
Lilo Avli
Kellyanne Conway's face ? -
Ice man
I'll let you know for sure if we can ever get it out of Donald's arse. But I'm leaning heavily towards a case of duct tape ... -
Lilo Avli
Is it because of your hip replacement therapy ? -
Ice man
No it's because she likes it up his arse, and to be honest he likes it too. -
Lilo Avli
Sounds like a good party to me. Are you catering there as well ? -
Ice man
No, they asked if I would, but I told them I didn't have enough cucumbers for them to play with. -
Lilo Avli
How many cucumbers do you have ? -
Ice man
None, I foolishly gave you the last one. -
Lilo Avli
But you made me very happy. Cucumber sandwich, anyone ? -
Ice man
That reminds me of a joke. -
Lilo Avli
That's nice. At your age, any memory is a good thing, right ? -
Ice man
I forgot the question .. -
Lilo Avli
What question ? -
Ice man
I don't know. Was there a question ? -
Lilo Avli
The more I find out, the less I know. -
Ice man
We've noticed that about you... -
Lilo Avli
Who is this "we" ? -
Ice man
Mircat, Linda, Simon, Dean, Dough Balls, Donald J, Kellyanne and Thinker.
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Why, just yesterday.
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never
Bootsiebaby 
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