When was the last time your coffee cup said "yes, yes"?
by 
Dean Freakman
ANSWERS: 6
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Whilst I was watching that Stormy video, with her and the office tea-boy.
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I use beer mugs ... and they don't say anything at all ...
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Lilo Avli If they do start talking, have a pint of water and lie down. -
Ice man Oh no, I'd just cover it's mouth with duct tape, and take another mug because obviously the first mug had too much alcohol in it's system... -
Lilo Avli So, have a nice lie down in this comfortable chair Mr. Ice, and tell me exactly when you noticed your beer mug had a mouth. This could be related to a sexual experience you had as a teenager. Don't worry. I'm confident I can straighten you out after six or seven sessions. Just enter your credit card details into this nice, little machine for me.
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Ice man Just what kind of a fool do you take me for. On second thought .. don't answer that, but I'll give you credit for calling me Mr.Ice ..My lawyer will be in touch.
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Lilo Avli A big, hairy Canadian one, of course. How much credit ? I don't want your lousy Canadian rupees again. My lawyer is bigger than yours, too.
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Ice man I told you NOT to answer that ! BTW, Stormy and I use the same lawyer and he just laughs at your sissy lawyer and that funny rug he wears on his head. : P
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Lilo Avli I'm going to tell her what you just said and let you await the subpoena in the post. Bail refused ! Take him down !
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Ice man The post takes too long, send it by FedEx...
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Lilo Avli Roger Roger, big ten four.
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Ice man My TEN FOUR is bigger than yours .. na-na, na-na-nan-na.
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Lilo Avli I'm not your Nana.
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Ice man I know my son, I know.
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Lilo Avli Are you ready for your bed bath ?
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Ice man No, it's okay. Your mother already gave me a golden shower this morning. Thank you anyway.
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Lilo Avli She told me she was cruising around the island of Switzerland. That's the last time I believe her.
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Ice man No, that's our code word for our athletic sexual adventures. But don't tell her I told you.
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Lilo Avli Rest assured, I won't be talking to that old ho, ever again. She is persona non grata.
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Ice man That's funny, she told me her name was Greta not Grata..
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Lilo Avli I think she uses different names on different continents. To avoid tax and the CIA satellite. Check out her belly button for a list, written on parchment.
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Ice man So that's why she acted funny until she examined my Made in Canada tattoo.
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Lilo Avli So "chew" is not your only body art. Where is your "Maid in Canada" tattoo ? And she only acts funny cos of the HIV meds.
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Ice man It's what you mistakenly called a "tramp stamp". So how many of these capsules do I have to take to get a buzz going?
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Lilo Avli I couldn't see it because you forgot to shave your back this month. Get inside the time capsule, write "Do not open till 2068" on the window, throw yourself down a twenty foot hole and get your idiot neighbour to back fill. That'll give me a buzz.
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Ice man I just asked and he said yes.
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Lilo Avli I like him even more.
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Ice man I think she likes you too ..
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Lilo Avli Very few can resist my good looks, charm, unusual genitalia, modesty and enigmatic smile.
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Ice man Yeah, you're special alright !
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Lilo Avli You're not so bad yourself. For a Canadian.
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Ice man That might be ... but you really take the cake.
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When was the last time you said you were stupid stupid?
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Your questions are not only silly they are a waste of time. Should I report report?
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Just this morning. Every morning actually.
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this nnorning
Thinker 
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