ANSWERS: 9
  • the right hand works better
    • we are dough 68
      What if the boy is left-handed?
    • Mr PantsFellDown
      Then he will need to illicit help from the dog.
    • we are dough 68
      What dog?
    • Mr PantsFellDown
      Well, you know how blind people may have a s "seeing eye dog"? Well, it's kind of like that...'cept different.
    • beaker95
      In what way? Do tell.
    • Mr PantsFellDown
      em......hmm em.....hmmm. Hand signals, when you're drivin', of course. (Either that or choking the chicken.)
    • Linda Joy
      But the non dominant hand feels like an awkward stranger!
    • Ice man
      I've heard that if you can switch hands fast enough you can gain a stroke.....
    • beaker95
      I think I would have a stroke if I do it any faster.
    • Mr PantsFellDown
      Aw, I was gonna say that! LOL. I mean..I know nothing of these things. Nothing I tell ya!! And no, it's not significant that my palms are hairy, that's a genetic trait..of sock monkeys. Anyway, it's not actually hair, it's a soft furry covering....soft...nice... and soft...aw, yea, yea!...oops. S'scuse me. This is private *pulls curtain abruptly* (but not completely, he he..)
    • beaker95
      My sister is four years older than me and I used to like watching her thru the slightly open curtain.
  • Also: don't screw any wooden hookers. You'll get splinters and will have to explain this to your mom when she does her weekly 2 AM penis inspection and....oh wait, that's just me, huh? Oh. *hangs head*
    • we are dough 68
      What is a hooker?
    • Mr PantsFellDown
      em.....it's a working girl. NOT that Mr Pants would know anything about those *looks suspicious, tries not to, fails, runs away*
  • Keep the wax out of your ears and not exceed decibles recommended.
    • we are dough 68
      What is the best way to keep wax out of the ear?
    • Anoname
      Don't put it in to begin with.
    • we are dough 68
      Where should I keep my wax?
    • Anoname
      On your girlfriend's nipples, of course. Uh oh, I said nipples. Some overly sensative person will want to report me for that, I suppose.
    • we are dough 68
      What if I am a 48 year old virgin?
    • Anoname
      That's what "CrazyChic" said about you once. You REALLY pissed her off at some point.
    • we are dough 68
      Really? I hadn't noticed. (whistles furtively and checks the back-door is still bolted). You think she's the kind of loser who would bare a grudge for a VERY long time?
    • Anoname
      A gun barrel quietly comes through the ventilation grate you forgot to cover........
    • Linda Joy
      Mineral oil loosens ear wax
    • Ice man
      Stop using your ears for candle holders, and buy yourself a flashlight ! ...
    • Linda Joy
      Staring into a flickering flashlight is just not the same
    • Nosmo King
      @we are dough: "Really? I hadn't noticed. (whistles furtively and checks the back-door is still bolted). You think she's the kind of loser who would bare a grudge for a VERY long time?". LIAR. You know perfectly well what you did to piss that girl off, but you still haven't explained why you did it. You KNOW she is the type to BEAR (not bare) grudges because you know perfectly well she's a PISCES and you know people of that sign do not forget things easily. Stop trolling, lying and being an annoying ass.
  • Always wash your face with "Tea Tree" soap, to avoid having breakouts.
    • we are dough 68
      Wednesdays were break-out days in prison. Rabbit stew and semolina on the menu, see. Nobody liked Wednesdays. Not even the muslims. Soap was a dirty word, except for Big Dave and his lacrosse buddies.
  • Always always always use protection
    • Ice man
      Yeah that's right ... always carry a gun ! : )
    • Linda Joy
      I was talking about shoes... not! I can definitely understand why you would need one but if, like me, you'd hesitate to use it having one might even kill you.
  • 4-20-2017 Always remember that almost everything you know you learned from children, and the rest you learned from maniacs. Get "Dress For Success" by John Molloy and consider all the advice he offers for students (Don't buy any clothes right away): * Vocal skill will affect your earning power more than any other detail. * Acting skill will get you a job offer even when you are not qualified for the job. * The most important benefit you get from school is your address book. * The difference between a successful person and a very successful person is that the latter knows hundreds more people, and knows them quite well. * No school will teach you any of the above. They don't even teach how to do well in their school. Get a reliable job and a cheap pad within walking distance. No car. Save half your income. If you earn ten bux an hour and save half, in ten years you will have a hundred thousand bux. No other plan can give a positive net worth in only ten years. Study investments at the library in the evenings. At first you don't know anything about investing so buy pure silver coins and hide them at home. After the collapse (the nation is collapsing) the money will be no good but you will have precious metals to finance your investments.
  • Masturbation will result in long hair growth in the palms of their hands. (Regardless of whether they are left or right handed.) ....
    • Anoname
      I've got slightly hairy knuckles on both hands. Does that mean I'm doing it right?
    • Ice man
      Yes, it means you've mastered the art of "switch". See my response to Mr.Pants first answer for further explanation..... lol
  • Read the book: The Wind is My Mother by Bear heart. A native American Shaman. This is a very different reference about what is important in life.
  • Don't get a girl pregnant. You'll never hear the end of it.

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