ANSWERS: 38
  • Because its really not about personality. Well a little of it is, but looks are really the ticket. Its just the natural laws of attraction, looks grab your attention.
  • I'm not sure how old you are, but be patient! And ask yourself if you're setting your sights wrong - are you a studious type who is trying to find a gorgeous girl who may not have a serious thought in her head? Be willing to meet all types - remember, "For every pot, there's a lid"....
  • I think people with great looks do attract others more quickly, but being an asshole will cause them to lose them more quickly too. They'll date alot but never really get the girl! It may take a little more work to attract someone when you're not as good looking, but your personality will be the glue that holds the relationship together once you do.
  • depends - what sort of girls is he getting?? one night stands or something serious?
  • Because its not all about personality, and anyone who claims so is wrong. There is a reason most couples are fairly similar in quality of looks.
  • Because people are generally shallow and wont admit it. Of course people's looks change as you get to know them. I have a friend who makes Johnny Depp look ugly and he can get ANY woman he wants, but he can't keep them. Looks wear off. They never liked him for who he was, but what he looked like. Hang in there. It may take a little longer, but when you get the right one, she is more likely to stay. +5
  • propaganda-seriously how bad would females in general look if the truth was accepted-it's about looks, social status and money. Very petty creatures looking for a food source so they can breed or simply feed with out having to exert them selves.
  • When I go fishing, I sometimes do pretty well. But, the last 2 times I went trout fishing, it was terrible. It all depends on the kind of fish, time of year, location and bait. Now, if you want a high maintenance super-model then you would go where the they hang out and you would have to be the kind of person they desire! If you want the "Mary Anne" type of girl, they you have to appear to be the kind of guy she would desire. If you are not doing well with the ladies, then change your marketing scheme. It could be the way you dress, talk, or your hair. Look at what is working for others and pattern yourself after that! I am not saying duplicate, but take some of those ideas and incorporate them into yourself. But, be happy with who you are and don't sell yourself short. I have a friend who is very successful and I had been married twice (first wife died) before he got married. He was a real good catch, too.
  • Looks definitely grab attention, no doubt about it. But when it comes to getting the right kind of girl, the girl who is intelligent, the girl who knows quality, the girl who goes for substance over style, the girl who is going to appreciate you for who you are and not because of your outward appearance- with a little bit of patience, you're going to be the one coming out ahead of the game.
  • Your asshole friend gets girls because he doesn't show any signs of intimidation, so he comes off as masculine and dominant. The girls love it at first, but he never "converts" to relationship material. You have to go out and get some "game." There is tons of information on the Internet, and a good place to start to see how much of a transformation is possible is to read Neil Strauss's book "The Game." Despite what any naysayers may claim, if you follow the widespread advice you'll find in your search, your dating life will change. This is not a guarantee you'll get the specific girl you might think you want, and there is no magic formula for catching and keeping sexy girls who get a lot of offers, but you will have the skills to keep a great woman who will be attracted to your masculinity. I personally coach a lot of guys to stay decent and still get great women in their life. I also recommend and like Scot McKay (I am not him) if you want to get the kind of coaching that doesn't require working "vacuous" girls in night clubs. The answer is in practice with women and the right things to avoid being seen as "a girlfriend" that has a penis. There is an art and science to all this. Go seek!
  • As much as one says that 'looks do not matter', they do. Even for you. You would not approach a girl who does not appeal to you. She might not be attractive and even a less than average looking girl, but surely you would not approach if she did not 'ring the bell'. Rather than thinking about why you do not get any girls, did you contemplate on approaching 'the not attractive' girl on your own? If you still do not get any girls then must be you have a different about self than what others think about you. I am not trying to tell that you are not an amiable and kind hearted person, as you claim. I am simply saying 'what ever you are expecting off others, try doing it your self'. *smiles*
  • I think that phenomenon of the pretty boys get the girls is a maturity thing. I think you have to be mature enough to appreciate something besides physical attraction.
  • Because thats bullshit they teach u like the good guy always wins. In reality most girls are sluts want to f*ck and u could be the nicest guy in the world you don't get em moist the nthey wont want u
  • relax just sweat it out- you'll be the one with the stable loving relationship in the end and he'll still be shagging his way round the globe
  • Many people say things--well, actually repeat things-- that they don't even believe in. Popular phrases, old sayings, catchy terms, cliches, etc.
  • It depends. Not all people look and fall in love with kind hearted people.
  • are you pursuing only the great looking girls??? Like your friend, they sometimes have a tendency to be shallow. seek the girl who wants it to be about personality.
  • C'mon, you know how the game is played. You as much as said so in your question.
  • Age, emotional immaturity are important. The first five years of one's life determine the basic emotional attitudes toward life; abuse, emotional security, model received from each parent or main adult caregiver, single Mom, divorce, bleneed family, "emotionally absent father, sex is "dirty" "you are no good," you should have been a boy/girl, pecking order in family- parental preferencs or rejections. That works both ways for both genders approaching a relationship of friendship, dating and marriage. It is so important even in today's more open society that females not fall for the lies, deception and being allowed to be "used" by males. sPit happens as the baby bib says and most men are still overgrown babies.
  • It seems the girls always want the bad boys. I was never really the bad boy (not good either) but never considered myself an a hole or overly good looking. I was however kind of cleaver these a hole great looking guys are usually the ones who push up on the girls and are all over them like a cheap suit. Well there were always the girls who giggled and laughed and ect.. But there were also te ones who didn't want any part of that crap and while these guys chased girls all over the party I just hung back. Trying to be just witty enough not to fade into the wood work and cutting it off before being a pain in the azz. And guess what they came to me because inside I am a nice guy and they really just wanted to talk to someone who didn't seem to just want to get laid. That was 25 years ago I know times have changed but sometimes patience is a vurtue and you will find girls I did. hurtzsogood
  • It -is- about personality, but it's also about looks, and furthermore how looks effect personality (they can). I'm betting that he might be an asshole, but he's quite outspoken and doesn't hesitate to speak in social situations - I'm not saying the confidence he uses to get him through these things is entirely based off his looks, but it probably doesn't hurt. You on the other hand, at least think that you're not an attractive man. You've said as much in your question. I'm going to venture a guess and think that you're probably more of a wallflower than he is, especially around members of the opposite sex that you're interested in. An ugly guy can get girls no problem, but he's gotta be willing to put himself out there, talk to them, hopefully learn a thing or two about being charming in the process, and not be scared to make the first move.
  • omg..for a second there i thought you said he has a great looking asshole..lol wow..you made my day!! actually night.. =)
  • Personality counts a lot. Especially with women. Your asshole buddy may score at the bar but they don't stay long. I know it's a cliche, but lack of confidence is a turn off. Make 'em laugh & persevere.
  • How old are you? I got over the good-looking bad boys years ago... because they are usually assholes. I am all about personality and how someone's personality makes them handsome. Also, do you really want to be with those ladies who put looks ahead of personality? Sounds shallow (or immature). One last thing - look for the nice, cute girls who aren't all over the hot guys. They may be a bit harder to get but the rewards will be well worth it!
  • It is all about personality... just not yours! Haven't you heard that nice guys finish last? It's true. People will protest that it's not, but the minute the (normally confident) asshole enters the room: BAM! There's the attention from the girls. But there are different was to be an asshole and even you can benefit from this law. You don't have to be mean or disrespectful, just snarky. If you can add just a light sprinkle of belittlement in there, that helps too. Find your niche: The snarkiest Perl programmer, will be the Perl programmer with the most computer nerd girls. Into renaissance, be the renaissance asshole. You don't have to go up against the likes of a jock or a gangster (like me), just find a niche that works for you
  • because you are "nice guy"..
  • The common factor in all your failed relationships (bad jobs, awkward situations, losing video game matches, night out where you got bad service) is you. http://divalion.livejournal.com/163615.html Let's call this required reading for guys, hmm? I note that you're describing yourself as amiable and kind, but you're jealous of your friend getting girls, plural -- you're not jealous of someone in a longstanding serious relationship. Looks is like having a dog in a park. It might give you a chance to talk to the girl, but if you're an asshole, you won't be talking to her very long. Sometimes it is all about personality. I am engaged -- getting married to in three months -- to a man I have *no* physical attraction to, and never have. But you know what? He is the most *genuinely* nice person I know. He drove to the next state to pick up a friend when her car broke down. I'll come home and he'll have made me muffins. He wasn't that interested in the perseids but he went on two picnics with me to watch them, and enjoyed himself. I'm not turned on by his appearance, but I'm all for going to bed with him -- because he remembers what I like and he makes sure I enjoy it. (And don't think I only dated an average looking guy because it's all I could get. Trust that I've had more physically attractive offers... just none whom I'd want to spend time with.) Read the link. Try to be honest with yourself, huh? Instead of whining that you never get anything. I always think of this guy I worked with, writing an opinion column about how he nearly shot up his school, and fantasized about raping one of his female friends as a method of stress relief. Some of his end comments were about how nice guys like him never get the girl. You don't want to be lumped in with that guy.
  • I am not going to tell you looks don't matter. They do to a certain extent. I am honestly one of those girls who doesn't base everything on looks. I like the person inside (intelligent, funny, and a friend) than oh this person is to fat or to short. But there has to be some chemistry. I just think its the type of people who would completely say that. I know so many people my age 23 who are getting married to the good looking guy that is an ass, instead of waiting to find that right person. My best friend for instance his gf is beautiful and he tells me he loves her breast. He proposed to her, but she treats him like crap, walks all over him, they break up at least once a month. That is an asshole liking somebody for what they look like instead of who they are and how they make him feel. So..I don't know. People are just shallow. Ha ha
  • "you are a nice guy" i hate that answer, it doesnt help you in anyway what so ever! assholes have confidence thats all it is, girls love confidence. learn to be more confident and you should have no problem.
  • Think of getting women like a job interview. yes the good looking jerk may get through the door to the interview but eventually the interviewer will see what hes made off if the right questions are asked. However the not so good looking guy will get the job if he is confident and honest. 1.What holds up most nice guys is they get wary of rejection and either delay their advances too long (girl looses interest and has moved on) or 2.they too get attracted to the beautiful jerky girl. And ignore the not so pretty but sweet girl. 3. Talk too much about how girls are attracted to the hot guy. (shows insecurity and says "hey I know I'm not your type and you are going to move on") 4. Stays on guard and doesn't show vunerablilities. (says, I know you aren't going to stick around) 5. make sure you aren't too nice. Some girls like a guy who they can walk all over but some like a guy who doesn't need direction every second of every day. 6. You don't have to always be handsome but well groomed goes a long way. (it says, hey I care about myself and I want to look good when I am with you) You would never go disheveled for a job interview so why be disheveled when looking for a date. 7. humor goes a long way and good colongne I've known plenty of unattractive guys marry pretty women. And its always for one basic reason. They were the most genuine guy they ever met and in time they became very attractive to their wives.
  • People lie.
  • 2 reasons... I do not know which is the more common one A: girls know what they want but don't want what they know. B: it is about looks but they can't admit to it (not even to themselves) because that would conflict with what they want to think about themselves
  • Hope is a good thing, but not always...
  • As for that new show on ABC "Dating In The Dark". People want to find out if looks play a major part in dating. People lie and say it does not, all to find out that it really does. So that's the same thing that is happening to you. But sometimes it's not about looks OR personality...if a guy is RICH, he gets the hottie that's only interested in his money, but she'll swear she's in love with him...ha ha!!!
  • The "laws of attraction" have to have SOME applicability going on; or NONE of us would "CONNECT"! Someone can just be so-so looking, but once you get to know them, they can be DOWNRIGHT sexy! You have to give people "time" to get to know you; without you forcing yourself on THEM! It can just take longer for some people than others to find the "right" person. But it will happen. The "law of averages" will eventually play out! Remember. . . .there's approximately 7 women to every guy! So. . . . . there you go!
  • Liars. Looks is the base for the start. Personality is for later on.
  • It's not all about personality, but it's definitely not all about looks either. You said your friend's an asshole so he probably carries himself like he doesn't give a shit and with a lot of badass confidence, and that's really attractive to a lot of girls. Being insecure and self-conscious can be a big turn off. I've been highly attracted to guys who other girls thought were nothing special just because I found their personality so charming and exciting. I think we see the sweet guy as husband material, but when first meeting someone, we tend to go for the guy with more edge because he seems more appealing at the time. It's great to be kind and amiable, but to avoid coming off as predictable and boring, I wouldn't go overboard with it at the beginning and maybe you'll have better luck. Be a little mysterious. Then once she's hooked you can show her how even more amazing you're capable of being, and she won't believe her luck.
  • I refer back to my earlier longer answer. Putting it differently this time: we are animal and human. Watch the TV documentaries on primates all the way to birds. Physical strength to be good parents is combined with some physical attractiveness as the studies show. Humans are also spiritual and intelligent on a higher level officially that the animal kingdom. That is where the "men and the boys" are separated ( immature emotionally who worry about having the biggest and getting the most) and the "virgin, mother and whore " come into play You know - getting back to my original post- that our first five years which determine our social "prints" are formed and we act, judge and behave toward our peers and the opposite gender as we grow. There is a complex interplay of physical beauty, "chermistry" education, and discernment involved. Today's culture on the popular level - clothing is an example very exposed breasts for girls and women - sends out mixed signals which sadly confuse the un-thinking when the 'chemistry" as in raging hormones and raw physical attraction make fully human decisions difficult. Aristotle defined the Human as a "Rational Animal." We are not orangutangs, nor are we angels ( who have no bodies by definition) . We are blessed with both and cursed if we do not balance them!

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