• My son is 16 mons old and we are still putting our marriage back together...People always want to think that having a baby will make everything better, when really it about tore my marriage apart.....We are not having anymore...I don't think we'd come out the other side together.
  • In my experience it didn't ruin it, it just added pressure to it because you are both under added stress and sleep deprived. But we have a great marriage and they are 9 and 12 at this point.
  • No way - it makes it ricjer if your relationship is good. I have been with my wife for 17 years, we have had a child very late, our daughter is 2 and a half now, we plan to have more kids. It's been tough at times but our lives are much fuller now, I wish we had gone down this path years ago ;-)
  • I don't think children make things easier but you certainly grow as a person. My husband and I have to talk about everything before making a decision which is a pain in the butt! So for me, having my son did not make my marriage better. It made me better.
  • usually no, and it shouldn't. You should only have children if you know you are going to stay together, and both help bring them up. then again.. divorce and remarriane nowdays is very easy :/
  • Having sucky parents ruins everything.
  • Not if the marriage or relationship was strong before the child came. Too often though, people see having a child as a last ditch patch up attempt for a shaky romantic situation. Nothing could be worse both for the relationship and especially for the child. There is a reason why divorcing parents are advised to explain to their children that the divorce is 100% NOT the child's fault. It's because it isn't. A child can't ruin a relationship/marriage. It can stress the parents and reveal underlying issues in the marriage and in the individuals but that is the extent of a childs contribution to a break up.
  • Not if it was strong to begin with. It makes you grow into parents together and it gets even better.
  • Children can ruin a relationship if it is immature or where one or both parties are egocentric and find the child to be competition for the affection of the spouse. I believe that most parents find their children to be both a bonding factor and a trial of patience. The responsibility for raising children in a loving home matures most people as parents and lovers.
  • having more children can ruin a relationship. i know one guy, his wife had sex with him while he was sleeping. she was always getting pregnant, and he couldnt figuire it out.
  • it did my first, had twins and they died we broke up and hated ourselfs so much we still dont talk and i gave him all there stuff but one pic of the baby boys - my soc. it didnt but haven our baby in nicu and picu put us to the test for shure. i think it made us stronger.
  • I guess it can do If the marriage is already having issues then it sure wont fix it
  • rarely it does. it creates a bond with the couple
  • It shouldn't
  • I don't think so, but relationships and marriages can certainly ruin children.
  • What ruins marriages is lack of insight about yourself and your partner and lack of wisdom about the fact that life is going to throw you curveballs all over the place. If your marriage is solid, with respect for each other and mutual goals and financial security, you have a great chance of incorporating children into the mix without much problem. The marriages that fail are the self-centered, clueless ones where people think marriage is supposed to make them happy with romance at the ready whenever they feel the need for it. Marriage is a lot of work, more work than any job and you get what you put into it.
  • If you're not in a committed relationship, a child will put major stresses on it. It children ruin your marriage, you shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. It does cause a major recommitment of time, but the marriage and family life will be healthier if the primary relationship remains the hubby/wife.
  • children can make or break a relationship. it all depends on the maturity of the parents, and if they're willing to give time to make the relationship work.
  • I wouldn't say it ruins them if you're 100% committed, but once you have children, in my experience, you are no longer a husband and wife, a couple, able to have fun with one another. You become the mom and the dad, co-parents, and teammates. It makes you grow up and forget yourselves whether you want to or not, and that puts stress on both of you and thus the relationship. It can survive though, with kindness, committment, and love.
  • Not unless you are still childish and irresponsible yourself. If you are a responsible adult, they only deepen and strengthen your relationship. If you are still a child yourself and can't stand the competition, then you probably aren't ready to be in a relationship anyway, and you don't need your child's help to ruin the relationship.
  • why should it? it's either it will make the relationship strong or busted. but we should be challenged with it. if having children made your relationship worse then you just proved to be not strong enough to protect yourself from the storm. if i will put it in metaphor, i always believed that sandpapers may be rough and painful as it buffs and sands the wood, but you will end up being smooth. if you don't want to be sanded then nothing happens to the wood. the wood that doesn't want to overcome processes of cutting and sanding to be beautiful and perfect
  • many stay in the relationship or and marriages due to having children so my answer is no!
  • Only if they â—„ both â–º are committed to raise a child healthy and happy. If no commitment should not be any children. That is my opinion. :)
  • Having children certainly removes happiness from relationships and marriages. Sure, ask a parent the point blank question, "do your kids make you unhappy?", and they're respond with the answer society demands of them: "No!" But then ask them about the quality and happiness of their life, before and after having kids, without connecting the questions directly to the lack of or arrival of their children, and study after study confirms that happiness goes down when children arrive in a relationship. Parents are certainly much less happy than non-parents, even when equalized along income, class, race, and other demographic factors. Even after the children have grown up and left the home, parents are also less happy than non-parents. April 1, 2009, 4:06 pm Does Having Children Make You Unhappy? By Lisa Belkin " Using data sets from Europe and America, numerous scholars have found some evidence that, on aggregate, parents often report statistically significantly lower levels of happiness (Alesina et al., 2004), life satisfaction (Di Tella et al., 2003), marital satisfaction (Twenge et al., 2003) and mental well-being (Clark & Oswald, 2002) compared with non-parents." "There is also evidence that the strains associated with parenthood are not only limited to the period during which children are physically and economically dependent. For example, Glenn and McLanahan (1981) found those older parents whose children have left home report the same or slightly less happiness than non-parents of similar age and status. Thus, what these results are suggesting is something very controversial — that having children does not bring joy to our lives." Of course, a reduction in happiness does not necessarily ruin a relationship and/or a marriage. Parents, by virtue of being almost universally capable of answering "No!" to the question "do your kids make you unhappy", seem to have a virtually unbounded capability for self-delusion. As such, they certainly have a built-in coping mechanism for dealing with the "bundle of despair" the obstetrician hands them in the maternity ward.

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