ANSWERS: 48
  • Sounds a bit like bait to me but okay. I say follow your heart.
  • You can always give the child up for adoption. I personally am not for abortion when there are so many people out there that cannot have healthy children of there own. Maybe if you were a young girl with health risks I could understand you even considering this but I don't understand why you didn't use more caution. One more cant be all that bad can it?
  • How old is the father. And force his ass to be a man!!
  • whatever you do,PLEASE don't abort this pregnancy.no man in this world is worth the pain you will suffer after he encourages you to have an abortion.
  • I am in a monogamous relationship and was on the NuvaRing (used religiously) when I got pregnant.
  • The father in in his late 20s.
  • if he isn't ready to be a dad, then he shouldn't have been doing the deed. i'm pro-choice, but the choice belongs to the woman (the fathers feelings should definitely be considered). If you don't want an abortion, don't get one. you're already pregnant, it's too late for him to say he doesn't want to be a dad.
  • Sounds like he is already in a situation. is this person married? It takes two to tango and will take two to unravel this situation. good luck.
  • Just to echo some of what has already been said: if you have any doubts about ending this pregnancy, please don't do it. That is not something you do just out of consideration for a man who doesn't want to be a man. If you truly do not feel that you can raise the baby, then please consider adoption. So many couples want babies so badly, and are dying to give them the home that you worry you can't provide. Oh, and if you choose to raise the baby, don't even think about not making this guy pay child support. Ready to be a dad or not, he is one, and your child deserves every opportunity he can get. Good luck to you and your baby.
  • You don't want to force *him* into a situation? He has already "forced" you into a situation. In my opinion, your wishes rule, because you are carrying the foetus. Certainly listen to him, but it is at the end of the day entirely your decision. And, since you are asking here, I don't think you want an abortion. Check your feelings carefully, but if that is what you feel, don't have one. Any man having sex should be prepared to take the responsibility of being a father. All methods of contraception can fail, so that even if you are using contraceptives properly, they is a possibility of conception, and he should have been prepared for it. Unfortunate the way things have turned out, but that is the way life happens. But do not let his wishes overrule yours - do NOT have an abortion against your own wishes.
  • Are you ready to have a baby? How will it affect your life? How will it affect the lives of your sons? Are you willing to give everything up again? What is it you hope to gain from your options? You have 3 options. 1) Adoption 2) Abortion 3) Parenting Think about all 3 of them carefully and don't let any other person on the planet (including AB members) sway you one way or the other.
  • by choosing abortion you are choosing to kill a child that had no choice in the matter. my idea would be to choose adoption, there are plenty of families out there that want a baby and cant have one!!
  • The most important thing to remember is that whatever you decide, you and the baby you're carrying, and your two sons have to live with it. Could you live the rest of your life knowing you killed an innocent baby? Can you afford another child? Because if the father isn't ready to be a dad, it'll be a fight to get child support (although it is getting easier). If you decide to keep the baby, how will it affect your other children and how will it affect your life? You could put the baby up for adoption. There are alot of childless couples that have no other option and would love and care for an adopted child as if it were born to them. Of course, if you do this, will you regret it later? I think if I were you, I would figure out what the baby's best option is and that's what I would do.
  • he may prefer abortion but how do you feel? You are the one carrying the child.Don't rush to judgement. Talk to him tell him your thoughts and see if you can come to some kind of an agreement. If between the two of you are unable to come to a decision go see a counselor and see what they have to offer in the way of advice.
  • This is your body, your conscience and your emotions, so the only issue is what you want to do. If you have an abortion against your own better judgement you could do yourself a lot of harm. All you can do is to take time to work out what you really want and then to do it, whether that is abortion or having the child. Good luck.
  • Well if he wasn't ready to be a dad then, he also should have been more careful, too many times men say they are not ready to be a dad, well then be careful. As far as the abortion, you and you alone will live with this decision since he won't care either way and it won't affect him but you on the other hand it will affect you so think long and hard and dont think about him when you make ur decision, since you alone will end up having to deal wtih your situation. And don't say that you don't want to force him into a situation, he forced you into one, don't you think. it's also funny to me that he didn't think about this situation when you all were having sex. Sex leds to making babies, so he should have know/thought about that. Good luck and whatever decison you make will be one that you and you alone have to leave wtih.
  • Follow your heart on this one. That baby is a person already, you know that.
  • Force him into a situation he doesn't want? You're joking right? At your ages you both knew that sex can and will result in a pregnacy even with protection. You both agreed to those consequences when you had sex. If he wasn't ready to be a dad he should have acted like a man kept it in his pants. What you should do is what feels right to you since Mr.Wounderful isn't willing to grow up. And that shows me the love is one way. You may love him, but he doesn't love you. He just loves that you'll sleep with him and put his wants first while he can have no consideration for you. And since you posted this I can tell abortion is not what you want. If it was me I would put the baby up for adoption and put him on the curb.
  • His 'not being ready' to be a dad shouldn't even be a factor. You can easily have him sign the child over to you and relenquish all legal rights. He won't have to pay for the child, and you won't have to deal with him causing you trouble in the long run. It looks like HE'S forcing YOU into a situation. If you want to keep the baby, keep the baby and cut him loose.
  • I would suggest that you make yourself happy. Don't worry about what others want you to do. Just do what you want to do. It may sound selfish, but the question is selfish in nature. It is all about you. The final choice is up to you. I wish you good luck on your decision because I know how difficult it can be. I have recently been involved in a similar situation and the thing that helped the most was a reevaluation of priorities. Again, good luck.
  • This guy is in his late 20's? So he's big enough to act like a man instead of whining that you've put him into "a situation". He must be a real mama's boy if can't handle the idea of being a dad. He can't be terribly smart either if he doesn't know that having sex leads to babies. I'd say kick this loser to the kerb if he won't accept that you are having his child. There are so many women out there who are suffering remorse from abortions they had as long as 40 or 50 years ago. It really messes up a woman's mind if she is ambivalent about the decision, as you seem to be. Abortion is also being increasingly linked with breast cancer later in life so it's not just the immediate complications such as infection and bleeding that you need to consider. I know money is tight, but somehow I'm sure you will pull through. Are there any relatives who could help with baby clothes etc?
  • why are you pregnant? do you know about birth control?
  • If he wasn't ready to be a dad, he should have kept it in his pants. There is no birth control that is 100% effective other than not doing it. I'm with the others. Kick the loser to the curb and do the best you can on your own. Next time you might want to make sure you have a man of some maturity and decency before you let him have marital rights.
  • If he's responsible enough to have sex, he's responsible enough to be a dad. Don't abort, you will regret it later on, I guarantee it. If you decide you don't want her, then carry her to term and let another family (of which there are many) who can't have children give her the life she deserves. If you do want her in your family, then nail his ass for child support. The state will force him to be a man if he tries to coward out of it. Either way, put the child first, not yourself. You will be happiest in the end by doing so, and so will she (or he?)!
  • If he's not ready to be a dad, he needs to get into a time machine. Tell him tough shit. He doesn't have to be a dad, but he's going to have to write a monthly check.
  • its abious that u dont want to abort, then dont. he should have been ready to take on the responsibility.
  • i dont know you or anything about you, other than what you revealed, however i think you will be making a mistake on getting an abortion. you are a grown woman, and youve already done it twice, from the sounds of it, mostly on your own.. i think you are going to be a very happy "new" mommy. just for information, i am pro choice and have had to make the same choice.
  • well, this question is pretty old... what happened?
  • I personally would have an abortion.
  • Then don't force him to be a father. Let him sign his parental rights and responsibilities away, and leave him out of everything. Pro-choice applies to both parents.
  • It's your body and your choice. It doesn't matter if he wants to be a father or not.
  • Just as you dont want to force him into a situation, you shouldnt be forced into one either If hes not ready to be a dad then he should have used protection. Its your body, you decide!
  • Place the baby up for adoption. Make it a closed adoption if you want. No abortion, no parental responsibilities.
  • if he made the choice to have unprotected sex, then he made the choice to become a father.
  • Tell that guy of yours, if he plays he pays. Bring him or her into this world. He could be our future leader.
  • He doesn't have to be a dad if he doesn't want to. It's called, LEAVING. He is the one who had sex with you and if he's not ready for the consiquences than thats on him. If you don't want to abort, than don't. Don't let him make you think you have to have one. You don't have to do anything he says. Be strong.
  • Make sure you know what you want before you do anything. I wouldn't let him pressure you into anything, he should know that there are always consequences for your actions and he will have to deal with them either way you choose. Its not you forcing him into a situation, its the mutual descision that you made together that created the situation. It could be psychologically damaging if you get an abortion you didn't want, I have known people who have got abortions they didn't want for their partner and found it very hard to deal with. Perhaps some counselling would help before you make a descision. There is no correct answer, just what is right for you in your current situation. If the father is a decent person he should accept your descision either way, or they are not worth having around.
  • It is only your choice.
  • OMG..exactly what those 2 boys need...what and who are u thinking of? YOURSELF...dump him, leave men alone!!! focus on the 2 little men and their sibling u are carrying and RAISE all 3...without your DESTRUCTIVE character traits.....they need u...these MALES DO NOT!! u pay to play lady....the child and children SHOULD NOT have to.....33..huh..some never hit the maternal mode...just stay in the ME<ME<ME one , and its sad what that does to our children.....
  • Congratulations on your new baby! That child is counting on YOU as his/her mother to protect it from all harm. Your sons are going to have a new sibling - it's their baby sister or their little brother. If the father is not ready to be a Dad, he should have considered the consequences for his actions before he had sex. I'm sorry he's being such a disappointment to you when you need someone you can trust and count on. Give him time to adjust. Please pray and ask God to give you strength, courage, wisdom, (and love for ALL your children) as you deal with this situation. Do a google search of "abortion photos" and SEE what YOU would be doing to your own precious baby if you did what that baby's father wants you to do to it....show him the photos. Let him see what it is he is asking you to do to HIS child. Ready or not, here he comes....a precious life that is depending on you. If you really, in the depths of your heart, don't feel you can raise this child, then please consider adoption. This might be the blessing that someone else has been praying desperately for.
  • He doesn't have to be a dad but he does have to provide child support for your baby if you choose to have it. The state will enforce this with a wage garnishee if he tries to refuse.
  • Well, there are things that you should consider: How will your already born children feel? What would your answer be if they asked, "What if I were that unlucky child?" What if you plan on having children in the future? Most likley, you will have a stillbirth or a miscarraige. And your boyfriend may as well be ready to be a dad. Personally, I think if you can't be a parent, then don't be stupid and crawl in bed. I know that maybe it will be unexpected but you got pregnant for a reason. Weather you believe in God or not, you know that you have to live up to your accident. After all, it's not the baby's fault that it was made. Also, there are a lot of health problems and risk that come with aboriton. Historeactomys, increased risk or cancer, and even death! It's just not heatlthy, physically and emotionally. Also, if your boyfriend dosen't care about you, he can hit the road. My mother was a single mom. It was tough at times and wondered why she was going through this. But to this day, she is glad she has me and thinks that I was a gift from God. But she's also glad that my father left because he drunk a lot and really didn't care about us. Peace. Hope this helps. But I won't judge you in any way shape or form. Christians just don't do that. By the way, I am pro-life. Not just because of my religion, but just for the well being of everyone. Also, you can't terminant all your problems. I'll pray for you.
  • Your kids will love having a baby brother/sister, and your life will also be enriched. The father will have to decide on his own if he is going to be a part of something that belongs to him. He will be a father whether he wants to or not; a dad is another question. If you do not want an abortion do not do it. It will be you, not the father, who has to live with this forever. Wishing you peace in your decision.
  • Its your body, YOUR decision. He doesn't HAVE to be a part of it!
  • same exact situation here!! i am 38 and 4 kids..21, 18, 15 and 11 and i even have a 3 year old grand baby!! 5 weeks pregnant and he never wants to have kids!!! i wish you much love!!
  • The father has already been a dad, so I don't see the problem. With the abortion, it is completely up to you. But next time, use a condom before having sex in order to not kill another child, and as a 33 year old you should know this.
  • Make a decision damn fast because those boys dont need to know you had an abortion if that is what you decide. Do you want them to think good lord what if she'd felt that way about me. Privacy issues!
  • i wouldnt abort it, i would just have it and if he dont like it thats his problem

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