If women want to be treated equally then should they not expect men to open doors for them, pull out chairs, etc,?
by 
Mastodon
ANSWERS: 43
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My sisters worked so hard to train me. Sigh. On dates men are in the position of having to divine where the woman stands on the subject and act accordingly. Otherwise, it's a courtesy issue. Are my hands free and the other person's not, are they older (women now hold the door for me as I'm an old duffer.) Should a woman stand there and expect me to do something for her just because I'm a man? Nope.
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That's irritating that it's even an issue for men and women. It's one of those things that people should not even concern themselves with. It's just...blah.
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Yeh! If they want eqaulity lets have mixed Boxing! Rosie O Donnel v Tyson!!!!
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As a certain talk show host states: Women want equal rights, but none of the responsibilities.
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Opening doors and pulling out chairs is just showing that you have manners. It has nothing to do with treating someone as an equal. I open the doors for both men and women just to be polite.
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I want to be treated equally. However, I dont see anything wrong with a man opening my door or buying me dinner. It's just polite if you ask me. I have also been known to pay for dinner. Relationships are 50/50 but most of us have our roles that we like to play.
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I think maybe we are confusing chivalry and common courtesy with equality in the work place and civil and human rights. I hold the door for men and women about equally. My wife buys me flowers almost as much as I buy her flowers. We both get to see and enjoy them so... why not? I find most people are pleasantly surprised when I show a little kindness and common courtesy. That is a great payoff for me! As far as expecting men to do anything... no. Hoping it will happen is another story.
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I belive you are confusing equality with sameness. Do you feel you have the same legal and civil rights as everyone else? Do you feel you are the same as everyone else? Do you wish to be treated the same as everyone else? Are you the same as everyone else?
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I suppose that it could be looked at that way, but I think that the equal rights in question mean that everyone gets AT LEAST a certain minimum level of respect and rights and dignity (and perhaps wages) regardless of any accident of birth, like race or gender or handicap or deformation, etc. But you may still do courteous things for people ABOVE AND BEYOND those expectations. The equality issue came up because certain rights were guaranteed to white adult males for a long long time. Those rights were not necessarily guaranteed for others; they might get them, they might not. It has been largely determined by Americans that those rights that we guarantee for one group should be granted to all groups. The bonus stuff, like saying "have a nice day," or "sir," or pulling out a chair you can give to or deny from anyone you please.
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It really depends on the situation. At work I never expect men to open doors or pull out chairs or let me enter the building first, but he does I will be gracious and except the offer. When men and woman use good manners they cannot go wrong.
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This question reminds me of second grade. When this rotten blonde girl pushed me over a rail and said curtly "you can't hit me, I'm a girl." For the record, I socked her in the stomach and got a high five from my buddy before getting sent to the principals office. She never pushed me again though. I guess what it comes down to are values my friend. Women deserve equal civil rights because they are equal humans (though let's be honest, in most cases boys are stronger). I don't think it is unreasonable for a woman to want equal wages and job opportunities and to still be treated like a woman. Get it? She's a human in the workplace and she's also a woman so be a gentleman. Plus I mean, boys can stand up while they pee, they win by default.
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WHAT!!!! I have opened the door for a man. How is this right??? Those are good manners to do those things!
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common coutesy and respect, regardless of gender, should be the rule
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But I am carrying a whole bunch of groceries..can you help me with the door..I would do the same:):)
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It depends on if they're feminists or not. If they are, the answer is NO, they should not expect men to open doors, etc., because that's not equality, is it? That's expecting special treatment based on gender. By definition, being treated equally would preclude men doing things for women that are not reciprocated at the same rate. So, if I pull her chair out, the next time she pulls mine out. I open 50% of the doors, she opens 50%, I help her with her coat 50% of the time, she helps me 50% of the time, etc. That might be ridiculous, but that would be equality. Non-feminist women have it right. They just want respect and fairness, just like men. Once you start talking equality, then you can't expect equality only when you want it. It's a package deal. Unless you believe that men are supposed to do some things and women are supposed to do other things. But, then that's not a person that demands equality.
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All's fair in love and war, how about using common sense, i don't mind being treated like a lady and i know how to treat my man!
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That is courtesy it has nothing to do with equality.
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Well, I think it is still nice to have etiquette between men and women, after all women are multifunctional beings and are not always as physically strong as men. And if a woman is capable of working, bearing children and keeping some semblance of a home then I think men could still do the decent thing and open doors and pull out chairs. I think too much has been lost over the last few years with a break down in etiquette and respect between individuals. Perhaps if these were regained through education and at work society would funciton a little better. So I think women can expect to be treated equally in the work-place if they are doing an equal job to men and can also expect to have the door held open for them.
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Just because women should be paid equally and have the same rights under law doesn't mean that we shouldn't still enjoy the differences between us. Equality is not the same as homogeneity, and it is nice to make a woman feel like a lady.
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Why not? Women open doors for men. Why shouldn't we do the same for women? You may have slipped through a time-warp into a previous millennium. 'Equality' means we all help one another. Except Republicans, who care only about themselves.
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My female colleagues do those things for me, and I for them. Therefore I think we're in a state of equality. I expect people to show decent manners, but if they don't, then its not very classy if I make a big deal out of it either. I think that goes for men and women.
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i dont think that's what women had in mind when they said they wanted equality. I think they are referring to equal pay, respect, etc. Having someone open your door is courtesy, not equality. I open doors for my female friends and male friends.
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I don't expect a man to do anything, but I do appreciate it when one does open a door or helps with carrying something heavy. I always thank them. I do have a problem with women who expect men to do these things. It also angers me when I see a man go out of his way to help a woman or open a door and she doesn't have the curtsey to say thank you to the man. Why would that man want to help out another woman?
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Answer withdrawn due to downrating though the answer was absolutely correct.
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I don't expect that from anyone, it's just nice when it happens. I open the door if I reach it first and I expect the same courtesy.
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By the question I assume that men should not hold open a door for a man if he thinks him to be his equal. Myself I hold open open doors, if someone drops something I will pick it up, or about to get hit by a car, I will give them warning. Are we to be polite only to those we deem as beneath us?
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Women have no right to demand this, but most do appreciate it when men behave in this way as a matter of courtesy. If you want your relationship or friendship with women to be as good as possible, then such behaviour as described above will usually help a lot. Treating men and women as equals does not neccessarily always mean treating them uniformily.
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I think this is a great question. I think that women make a huge deal over equal rights now, and how we are more independent than ever before. More women now take pride in being single and wealthy and independent. I think that if women want to be treated independently (like men)- then they should pull out their own chair and open doors for themselves. On the contrary, I also think that all women are looking for the traditional gentleman. They want to be treated like an old fashioned woman with new values and rights. The transition from inequality to independence is moving very quickly- and its hard for both men and women to cope with at first...because a woman's thoughts and values may seem a little mixed up.
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Women shouldnt be treated equally in the US. Women are not required to register for the military draft while men, when turning 18 by law have to. This tells us that the government views women as inferior.
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that is completely irrelevant, doing those things are common courtesy. when someone wants to be treated equally it usually means that they want to be treated better.
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Who says women can't open doors and pull out chairs for people?
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The reality is we want equal pay and all other benefits of being a woman, lol
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Got DR for my reply by three different unknown named people so I wish to change my answer. My reply is that YES that is correct if that is the answer that was being looked for and the reply is NO WAY - if that makes all the little dweebs happy.
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I think it's really sad that people are getting down rated just for having an opinion that doesn't kiss a woman's ass. The reality is that women just want the double standard, they want equality, UNTIL it conflicts with the benefits they get for just having a vagina. They want to be pampered and have no problem taking a man's money because we are still supposed to fulfill our "support" role, though when it comes to everything else, all of a sudden we are an equal? I don't buy it, as soon as women stop feigning that innocent female victim crap to get what they want, I will respect them more.
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equality is not tit for tat... it's open communication and a willingness to meet the basic needs another might have. i don't believe it assumes you have to give up the last free seat for the woman but maybe it means when you finally achieve that feeling toward the opposite sex, you'll lose all interest in having that conversation and concentrate on being the best you, you can be.
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That's the old form of feminism. I want equality in the workplace when it comes to salary, if women can do the same and job just as well. I also don't want us the think that all men do something better than all women. The truth of the matter is that we are different. You propbably wouldn't ask me to carry a 100lb box across the room, but you sure can ask me to help. I wouldn't ask a man carry a baby for 9 months, but he sure can help. There will always be things that one sex or the other is better at, we just have to be carefull not to put everyone in that stereotype. . . So Mastodon would you like to go to a bridal shower with me today!! :)
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Women who want their men to open the door for them is like saying I can't open a door myself, the truth is no women should not expect men to open the door. We shouldn't expect men to lift heavy things when we can do it our selves. Equility is what makes curtisy.
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This is a fair question and as somewhat of a feminist, allow me to answer it. I try to be fair to both sides. I am always appreciate when men do this or make the offer because it is usually a sign of good raising and respect. I don't take it as anything other than it is. I don't think most men take it as we are too weak to open the door ourselves,etc. Women do a lot of things for men to. I have held the door for men before if I was at the door first.
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wtf a woman wanting to be treated equally has nothing to do with her liking whenhe guy does sweet this for her. thats why they want guys to do it... IT IS SWEET. there is a difference between a sweet gesture and the law.
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HA HA OOPS I READ THE QUESTION WRONG... SORRY LOL
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They should expect men to open doors for them, but they should also expect to open doors for men. Similarly with the chairs - it is a question of politeness to open a door, not one of gender. I will open doors for men, and men open them for me.
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does opening of door make up for the lower status you assign them to?
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Correct. They should be willing to at least open doors for men, pull out chairs, etc. as often for men and they want to have it done for them. That's true equality.
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