ANSWERS: 26
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  • Your grandson! He loves you and will need you. Things always get better.
  • You have many people that need you.
  • This person, who loves you so much:
  • I might sound hard but i have to be honest, you cant change the fact that your sweetheart died and i know it hurts a lot when someone you love dies but its the cycle of life and you need to come to terms with it. Friends come and go and the ones who are really worth it are the ones who will stay beside you no matter what. about your grandson well your son can fight for shared custody its his right to see his son so you can see the baby when he is with your son. Just hang on because this is all we have here and now, try to stay positive i know its hard to do so but you just have to give it a try, you are the only one who can find the reason no to commit suicide giving up your life wont solve anything, i wish you the best *hugs*
  • you have three reasons... 1) your life. 2) your son. 3) your grandson.
  • Life happens, it's not always a bed of roses. Nothing is worth wasting your life over. I know the way your sweetheart was taken was brutal, but it's been over 3 years and you don't seem to have moved on. I know it's not easy, but it seems that you are wallowing instead of moving forward. I'm sorry to say that, but many of your answers clearly reflect that fact. It's not an easy process given the nature of her death. I'm not trying to be mean, but. . . Friends come and go. I'm sorry that your son's GF is making threats, but perhaps she is making them because she's angry over their breakup. She'll hopefully come around. I can relate to things becoming overwhelming. You just have to trust me on that. Time to get some help :) Life is too precious to waste no matter how bad it gets. 1-800-SUICIDE 1-800-273-TALK 1-800-784-2433 1-800-273-8255
  • Hey, asweetguy4u2know: You've read enough of my answers to know that I would tell you you're not the only one who's had bad things happen to you, and to feel this way. You also know the reasons I would tell you that you have NOT to do what you're thinking. You KNOW you have friends here on AB. Just let us help you. Your son and grandson need you, whether you can see him now, or not. You can't give up. That's too easy. You HAVE to do everything you can to get past this all, and keep going for them, for us, AND for YOU. Keep as even a keel as you can, and keep in touch with us. We'll help you through it.
  • If for no other reason, than for those you'd leave behind to mourn you. The fact that they might also feel guilty and responsible for your death would make their pain even worse...and I do not believe you to be the type of person to want to inflict pain on others.
  • Let's start with the sweetheart. If you kill yourself you will go to hell and then you will never see her on the other side. Do you really want to do that to her?? And what's more is that I remember the very first interaction I ever had with you on AB was you telling me your sweetheart isn't completely gone. She still comes around and pays you visits from the other side. Cos she wants you to be there with her when it IS your time to go. I don't know what is up with your friend but I once read something to the effect of "Life is like a bus. At the beginning of your life you get on. The bus makes all kinds of stops. People get on and people get off. People come in and out of your life. But you must never get off the bus until the very end when it is your stop." People come into our lives for different reasons. For all we know maybe this person was meant to teach you the meaning of losing a good friend or what to look for in a bad one. And as for your grandson..... dude, that is what lawyers are for. You will see your grandson as long as you do SOMETHING. If you get some sort of court order or court ruling she can't just take him. I don't know why I got onto AB tonight but I am glad I did. You were one of the handful of people that was around for me when my gf broke up with me on my birthday and I wanted to kill myself. And if all else fails do what I do to feel better. Find someone with worse problems than you and let them vent to you. Not only do they feel better but it helps to remind you that no matter how bad it gets, there are 6 billion people on earth and someone is bound to have it worse.
  • Obviously you have doubts otherwise you wouldn't be asking why you shouldn't kill yourself, but nobody here can give you those reasons and I think you know it. I think some of the other answerers have a point. It's difficult when somebody we love dies, especially when it's least expected. It affects us all in different ways -- but you need to move on and obviously, you don't seem to be healing. Healing doesn't mean forgetting, but it does mean that the pain and intensity of the emotions lessens somewhat, it's easier to function through it and not linger on the bad times. Sometimes something interrupts the healing process, and it sounds like that's happened to you. I would suggest speaking to a therapist who specialises in grief counseling. It might even be that you're depressed and need some medication too, a trip to the doctor to discuss your options wouldn't hurt either. Your grandson, well... give it time. If your son and his girlfriend don't reconcile then there's a strong chance he'll have visitation with his son. You can probably squeeze in some time then. Another suggestion would be to do some volunteer work. Getting your attention OFF yourself and onto other people who need it is therapeutic. Try your local soup kitchen or Habitat for Humanity.
  • I know your going through very hard times right now. It sounds like your being tested. And its during these times that we who have the will power, to continue on will learn from this. So that later on in life we are able to help stop others from taking their lives. Right now you may feel like it's better, to just die. Only if you do so, what good would you be to those you love. Thank about that grandchild & what thoughts may go through his mind later in life. What is he going to be told about you? Do you want him during his hard times, to think because you did it so can he. Or do you want to be a strong grandparent. One who will be there, if that time was to ever come. One who has been down that path, & can show him the right way. If they all seem like they will have nothing to do with you right now? Even tho its hard to do. Just let it be & go & spend time with others who are, or have gone down this path before. I always found that helping others seemed to lift me up to go another day. Plus I learned alot by just being there with them, during times like this. There was a "Old Folks" home I use to mow the lawn at. And I learned that many there. Always enjoyed the day I came. For I would take time,from my work to spend with them. Many were just dropped off there. By their so called loving family's. Who never even once payed them a visit. I felt so sorry for them & still learned alot from them. And when I began to realize this. That there was so many other's out there, who had it worse than I. It seemed to bring me out of the depression I was in. Just knowing somehow I was helping lift them. For some of them, who could not walk no more. Told me to be thankful I still had good strong hands & legs to use. Others told me how lucky I was, that I could still see. At this point I knew, there was a reason God keep me here. It gave me a inspiration to go on, and over come my own problems. And no it did not happen over night. I just talked to a FRIEND of mine the other night. Who was a month ago, in great health. He told me that he had went to get a check-up at the Doc:. And the Doc: told him that he may be lucky if he sees another month. Think of the shock that, that news must of been to him. He had so many plans in life. And then he is given this kind of news. None of us know what tomorrow will bring. Thats why we should all be thankful for today. Go and try something like I did. Maybe your best FRIEND. Or maybe someone next door to you. Or maybe a homeless center or hospital. If your a true believer in Gods word. Then speak to a paster about being a part of the Church. Just remember what I stated in the beginning of this. If you give up now. What will your grandchild think if he was to, ever come to this point in life? You sure won't be any good to him, if you give-up your life this way. More likely you would only cause harm. For taken your own life, will do no one any good. And understand that in cases like this. It takes time to heal from a broken heart. But each time you over come it. It grows stronger & you build wisdom from it. Don't wast it my FRIEND.........M.C.S.
  • There are more sweethearts around. Not much of a friend who needs them. Son and girlfriend it is their problem let them work through it. Grandson needs to know you are there even if at long distance. Your son will get visitation rights through the courts and then you can have contact with them. I only say lifes a bitch then you marry one and then you die. But between those times ain't it fun. Mr Bill
  • You have the reason of not putting everyone you leave behind with having to deal with that. Even years after they will wonder, "Why?" "What could I have done to stop this?" "Why didn't he want to stay here with us?" Or you grandson, "What was Grandpa like?"
  • Sweetguy, I have had very limited contact with you but I know you have had more pain then most should ever have to bear. You being a religious man have read that God will never give you more than you can handle. Please know that when you share your burdens with others they help carry the weight. Right now there are 15 people reaching out to share your heartache and burden. God Bless.
  • that would be giving up, which is no choice...
  • No dice - we need you on AB!
  • I do not want you to die an empty death.
  • Suicide is a PERMANENT solution TO TEMPORARY PROBLEMS. The person that turned their back on you was not a friend. The girlfriend will calm down, I guarantee it. Have you ever heard of the song "If she would've faithful" by Chicago? That kind of says it all. Good Luck & DON'T GIVE UP
  • 1 The ends of the earth shall inquire after thy name, and fools shall have thee in derision, and hell shall rage against thee; 2 While the pure in heart, and the wise, and the noble, and the virtuous, shall seek counsel, and authority, and blessings constantly from under thy hand. 3 And thy people shall never be turned against thee by the testimony of traitors. 4 And although their influence shall cast thee into trouble, and into bars and walls, thou shalt be had in honor; and but for a small moment and thy voice shall be more terrible in the midst of thine enemies than the fierce lion, because of thy righteousness; and thy God shall stand by thee forever and ever. 5 If thou art called to pass through tribulation; if thou art in perils among false brethren; if thou art in perils among robbers; if thou art in perils by land or by sea; 6 If thou art accused with all manner of false accusations; if thine enemies fall upon thee; if they tear thee from the society of thy father and mother and brethren and sisters; and if with a drawn sword thine enemies tear thee from the bosom of thy wife, and of thine offspring, and thine elder son, although but six years of age, shall cling to thy garments, and shall say, My father, my father, why can’t you stay with us? O, my father, what are the men going to do with you? and if then he shall be thrust from thee by the sword, and thou be dragged to prison, and thine enemies prowl around thee like wolves for the blood of the lamb; 7 And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. 8 The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he? 9 Therefore, hold on thy way, and the priesthood shall remain with thee; for their bounds are set, they cannot pass. Thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever. I want to apologize for being such a whiner. For those who aren't Mormon the above comes from a book we hold as scripture called the Doctrine and Covenants . It is a compilation of many of the revelations the Prophet Joseph Smith received from Heavenly Father. The above comes from the 122nd section. Joseph was in Liberty Jail in March of 1839 and was basically doing what I have done for so long whining about why he has to endure such persecutions He felt he was the Lord's instrument in restoring the fuullness of the Gospel to the earth in the last days and as such shouldn't have to go through all the trials and tribulations he was experiencing in his life. My interpretation of verse 8 is what has helped me so many times before. Basically what God is saying to Joseph there is Jesus suffered far greater persecutions and trials in his life than any of us could ever endure and he did it all without once complaining and here is Joseph whining about what he has gone through and God basically tells him do you think you are greater than my son that you shouldn't have to bear these things? I know now that God has given me all these things as a way of testing me I guess to see if I can really put my trust and faith in him to help me through these things. I felt as if God was speaking directly to me as I read those words he spoke to Joseph almost 150 years ago. I am not greater than the son of God and I will probably never come even close to measuring up to being the man he was but I now also know I am not alone. I know God is there for me and he is ready to help me through these tough times in my life. Thank you again all of you for your kind words and encouragement I now know that things will get better and nothing is worth throwing God's precious gift of life away for.
  • Hi.I don't know you,but I love you.You are here in this world that we all share together for a very important reason.You may not know or understand that reason quite yet,but one day you will.Don't leave before you do,your purpose would then be unknown to you.And to others as well. Your sweetheart,friend and son's girlfriend are just people who are all going through their own search in this life,so don't let their actions reflect back onto you in any negative way because you can't control what they do.You can only control your own actions and reactions.Emotions are just that - emotions, or feelings,and nothing more.In other words,they will pass.Feelings never last that long really. But grief over a loved one who has taken their own life will last forever.Believe me,I am living that nightmare right now.My son took his own life,and even though I can understand why on some level,it doesn't change the fact that I must face this huge loss every single waking moment of the rest of my life.A life without my child.Surviving a loved one is not really living,it is only waiting to be with them again.I am,essentially,alive without life.If that makes any sense... Please stay.Circumstances in life can change so quickly.People come and go in our lives.Let them.
  • Good morning asweetguy... I do not know you as well as some of the other responders though I will try my best with what information I have garnered from them. To your first point...I am saddened to read that you are still in so much pain after all these years. The death of loved one, no matter the circumstances, is never an easy pill to swallow. Perhaps you need to turn your thinking around and look at it from her point of view. I am assuming, from what I have read, that the love you had was mutual...would she want this for you? Do you think, if she's watching you right now, she would want you to still be so sad after all this time? I do not know her or you personally though I would imagine the answer is no. There is nothing wrong with remembering and honoring the love and life you shared but to allow it to still hold you back in life is extremely unhealthy for you and for those around you. If the person you are referring to as a friend has left you when you needed them most, there could be two explanations for it... 1. They weren't really as good of a friend as you first imagined...it's sad but it does happen. If this is so, it is better you know now before you invest more in the relationship. 2. They really ARE a good friend yet they can standby no longer and watch you burden yourself with circumstances which are out of your control. Perhaps during the time you have been consumed with your grief, they feel that you turned your back on them...just a thought to mull over. Regarding your grandson: your son is the father and no matter what the young woman says, she cannot keep his child from him. Help your son with whatever custody and/or visitation battle he may be facing. The court will want to see that the child will be sharing time with a caring, responsible family and if you're a wreck, it will overshadow what the court sees as what is best for the child. Your son must be going through a lot right now and this is the time when he needs his dad to be strong and a shoulder he can lean on during HIS struggles...that's what a parent does. Put your grief and anger on the backburner and focus on his. Chances are, by doing so, you'll stop thinking of your own pain for the time being. It sounds like you need a break from it anyhow. Dying is hardest on the living. If you choose to take your own life, not only does it show those who love you that when the going gets tough, the tough gives up, you are possibly sentencing them to a life of grief that they may never get over because they were taught that when someone dies, you let it consume you and take over your life. Is this really the legacy you want to leave behind? In conclusion, it sounds to me like you really need to seek some serious therapeutic help. There are many different types of people in the world and that includes some that just cannot do it on their own...IT'S OKAY. That is why there are other people in the world who are there to help us when we cannot help ourselves. Please seek some treatment for your issues sooner rather than later. Perhaps one of these thoughts will resonate for you... When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt Fall seven times, stand up eight. ~ Japanese Proverb When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. ~ Harriet Beecher Stowe The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning. ~ Ivy Baker Priest What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves. ~ Edmund Hillary If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again. ~ Flavia Weedn Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. ~ M. Kathleen Casey If you're going through hell, keep going. ~ Winston Churchill A bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn. ~ Author Unknown The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief. ~ William Shakespeare I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders. ~ Jewish Proverb We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. ~ Kenji Miyazawa Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are. ~ Arthur Golden When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful. ~ Barbara Bloom I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing. ~ Agatha Christie When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson When written in Chinese the word "crisis" is composed of two characters - one represents danger and the other represents opportunity. ~ John F. Kennedy That some good can be derived from every event is a better proposition than that everything happens for the best, which it assuredly does not. ~ James K. Feibleman The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears. ~ John Vance Cheney Defeat may serve as well as victory to shake the soul and let the glory out. ~ Edwin Markham Adversity is the first path to truth. ~ Lord Byron The difficulties of life are intended to make us better, not bitter. ~ Author Unknown Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents which, in prosperous circumstances, would have lain dormant. ~ Horace The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt. ~ Max Lerner God uses suffering as a whetstone, to make men sharp with. ~ Henry Ward Beecher Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us. ~ Rainer Maria Rilke Problems are only opportunities with thorns on them. ~ Hugh Miller Man performs and engenders so much more than he can or should have to bear. That's how he finds that he can bear anything. ~ William Faulkner We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of inspiration and survival. ~ Winston Churchill The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than in growing with them. ~ Bernard M. Baruch It is foolish to tear one's hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less by baldness. ~ Cicero I have woven a parachute out of everything broken. ~ William Stafford I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me! ~ Dr. Seuss Rock bottom is good solid ground, and a dead end street is just a place to turn around. ~ Buddy Buie and J.R. Cobb If the wind will not serve, take to the oars. ~ Latin Proverb Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll. ~ Author Unknown But ne'er the rose without the thorn. ~ Robert Herrick God brings men into deep waters, not to drown them, but to cleanse them. ~ John Aughey Never give in... never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force... never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. ~ Winston Churchill
  • you have no reason to not kill yourself..you dont do it because you're just scared
  • Im sorry to read all this sweetguy, you have already been through more than enough..believe me your sons g/f will come around, she is angry at the moment - but in reality she cannot stop you seeing your grandchild, your son is his father, and she cannot stop him seeing the baby.. you will see it will all work out in the end. As for your 'friend' who turned their back on you - was this person ever REALLY a friend in the first place?? i think not. Your love wouldnt want to see you put yourself through all this pain and suffering, she would probably say 'give yourself a shake and get on with it'.. wouldnt she?? Things seem bleak at the moment honey, but in time everything will sort itself out..i believe there is a reason for everything, and you killing yourself is NOT an option, you have your son and grandson to live for, and of course the rest of your life. Anyway - we need you here. :) Take care honey.. and keep your chin up, it will be ok...
  • None. So if I were you I would pick how I wanna die and just do it without thinking
  • hell humans werent meant for it it is real and it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem this too shall pass
  • you have to answer this yourself

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