ANSWERS: 12
  • You can't be a proper boyfriend to her, or, more importantly, a proper friend to yourself if you stay with someone who makes you unhappy. If she does hurt herself, you're not to blame--she still makes her own choices. It would be kind of you to offer to help her find counseling, but you're not responsible for her problems. If you spend all your time pleasing and trying to heal others, you will only leave yourself empty. If she has threatened to hurt herself if you leave, then she isn't worth dating--she's only threatening to manipulate you and that makes her one nasty person.
  • This is a sticky one. As has already been said, the bottom line is that you should end the relationship and not feel guilty for doing so. Of course, break it off nicely. It sounds as if she has some very serious emotional problems. This does not make her a bad person, but she obviously needs help. Help that you are probably not qualified to give. If she has threatened to "hurt herself" if you leave then she is most likely being manipulative. If you only suspect that this will happen, then it might be a very real possibility. Normally, I would say that before ending it you should discuss your concerns with her close friends or family so that they can be supportive of her. However, you have stated that she has no one else. You might try sitting down with her and talking openly about the concerns you have. Arrange a counseling session for her and go with her the first time. She might be afraid to go alone initially or even admit she has emotional issues and this will help. Check your local directory to see what kind of help is available for her. You might call your local suicide prevention hotline (if there is one) and discussing this with them to see what they advise. No matter what, she is her own person and you cannot be responsible for the choices she makes (good or bad). You can only try to help before moving on, the rest is up to her. Hope this helps.
  • well, i would find the girl some friends! and if your tired of her; just break up with her. but make sure that she understands that you will still be there for her, just not all the time.
  • say goodbye
  • im in the same situation at the moment only im the girl n hes the boy. im finding it hard to cut him off (havent broken up yet), he has no one but me yet he treats me like crap, every time i try to break it off he say "your loosing the best thing youll ever have, ill never talk to you again, im gunna leave this planet...i'll stop fighting with you and treat you the way yo deserve please take be back.." then i will then a week later hes were fighting again. and i just get all the blame for it. its so hard. what did you end up doing?
  • Hmmmm.. if she needs you that much, and wants you that much... you are lucky. Keep her. You will find that some one who wants you bad enough to hurt themselves if you leave them, is rare indeed.
  • It sound like you have more of a mental issue the just your average break up situation. I would do it in stages. Slowly start moving away from her. Bring friends around that she might be interested in. Tell her the truth and be prepared for the backlash.
  • Her neediness should not become your problem, nor should you be emotionally blackmailed into staying with her. When you do break it off, gently suggest that she consider counseling for her problems.
  • It's almost as if your question should be: "..my girlfriend has no one but me because shes moody..." in other words, this is her own doing. Do you want to spend the rest of your life being her warden? As someone who cares about her, tell her she needs to seek professional help. Key word being SHE needs to seek professional help, not you getting it for her. Helping her to help herself is ok. Trying to do it for her is different, it's enabling isn't it? Maybe you should show her your question here on this website for starters. Good luck.
  • Old, old post and the guy isn't even around any more... But this can happen and often does over and over... Ultimately no one is responsible for another person's choices...we all have the right to make our own choices in life. Those who CHOOSE TO threaten themselves, or others, with harm if they do not get their way or get what they want, are nothing more than manipulative bullies, just as any other abusive person who uses threats, yelling or violence to manipulate. Most commonly such behaviors might be called Passive/Aggressive...since the person does not hit and may not yell, but still makes it known that if YOU do not do THIS, THAT OR THE OTHER...they may hurt themselves! If she is moody, then she needs to get happy! If her moodiness is related to life events that she had no control over when she was younger...then maybe she needs to seek professional help to learn a different way of acting and reacting to those old tapes and memories. It is NOT your responsibility to fix her problems. You may choose to support her taking positive steps to address what makes her moody and unhappy or fearful...or not...you are responsible for being as kind as you can be, but not to the point that it begins to cause you harm....ultimately it is HER choice to work on creating positive change or not.
  • If I was you I would stick around awhile longer and get her back on her feet so she can handle life without you. +5
  • she might be trying to control you by saying she'd hurt herself if you left, i would just break up with her and ask someone else to help her with her issues

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