ANSWERS: 18
  • hey i'm sorry..you must feel terrible. but.. dont take his word for it..getting an attorney will make sure things are properly done, no need to drag things out if he's done with the relationship. It always takes two to make things work...
  • YES! For your own protection, please retain an attorney. Good luck, hon! [ hugs you ]
  • He already has an attorney. You should have one representing you also. It is good that he says he'll leave you everything but lawyers will push thier clients not to do that also.
  • Wow I was just reading your profile and then saw this ?. I can't believe after 18 years it's over just like there. Is there no hope of saving the marriage? Have you tried asking him why after 18 years he just wants to throw it all away and move on. While I am glad to see from some of your comments you have a lawyer maybe you should talk to him about trying marriage counseling first and see if the marriage can't be saved. Unless there are abuse, infidelity, or trust issues I hate to see long time marriages like yours end up in a divorce. I mean are you both sure this is what you want? Is there no hope that this marriage can be saved. Have you tried asking him why he just wants to throw away 18 years? Far be it for me to talk you into staying in a marriage if there are issues that just can't be worked out. It just saddens me to see so many years together just being thrown out the window if there are no trust issues no abuse of any kind and no infedility on either of your parts. I wish you luck my friend whatever you decide to do.
  • Yes you need an attorney. I had a similar thing happen decades ago. I went to work and was served there. You NEED an attorney.
  • Oh, hell yes!
  • Yes get an attourney. simple advice to protect yourself: Full financial responsibility means: The person has to pay the debt but does not have to refinance so your name is not on the debt. If they default you still get screwed. Make a detailed list of every items in the home including serial numbers, define in writing what you want. If something you really want goes missing you have legal documentation to take him to court to get it back. Selling items after the divorce papers have been served is a bad Idea. If you or your spouse can prove the items were owned before the papers were served (Example a car) you can still be liable for 50% of the value of the item even if you didnt get that much. Good luck to you..
  • Oh my, what a horrible cowardly thing for him to do. You must be in complete shock. Per everyone else's advice here, DO get an attorney and protect yourself and your child. It may seem like a lot of money, but it will be worth it. Remember what they say: "Why does divorce cost so much?" "Because it's worth it." I wish you all the best.
  • Get an attorney, get it all on paper that he's giving you everything...cause once the new broad in his life gets in deep enough, she'll be wanting everything he promised to you! Stay Strong!
  • YES get one ,sometimes they LIE.
  • Hmmm. To be safe, get a lawyer on retainer. If he says he's giving you everything, have HIS lawyer draft something up in writing indicating so. Nowadays, if it's not on paper, it never existed. Side note, now would be a good time to lean on your friends. This is just a gut reaction without knowing your situation but I suspect this will be a long process. If he said he's giving you everything, I would assume there's another person out there who he will assume a life with. I could be wrong, like I said, I don't know your situation.
  • wow!!! not even having a heads up on something like this can be totally devastating. it's nice that he says that he's giving you everything... does that mean that he's also going to give you that swiss bank account he's donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to over the years? i doubt it ... people going through a divorce, in my opinion, need two things - an attorney who will help guide them safely through the process and a therapist who will help them work through the process and help build you up for your life after things are settled. best wishes to you!
  • Whoa, really? mmmmmmmmmmm, maybe not
  • I am so sorry to hear this. He must have been leading a double life with another woman on the side or maybe he is gay and can't live the straight life anymore? In any event, you deserve everything because you have been a good wife and mother. You deserve a man who adores and appreciates you and I hope you find one.
  • Get an attorney fast. If he can do that to you Do Not Trust him!
  • an attorney would be good. but make sure he doesnt get a percentage of the deal. get one that works for a flat fee. not an hourly rate. attorneys double charge just like mechanic shops.
  • An attorney for what? He's giving you everything. Do you have children together?
  • i would at least take the divorce papers to the attorney to make sure you are actually getting everything and that he isnt just banking on you believing him and signing the papers

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