ANSWERS: 37
  • Some kids do go through a gangly age where they are awkward and funny looking until they mature and everything finally falls into place. Just know that you are the best person you can be inside, and hold your head up. Beauty does come from within...
  • Clearly, if you were ugly, then guys wouldn't try talking to you as you said so yourself. It's never easy to overcome hateful remarks; however, you have to tell yourself, as silly as it sounds, that you're a great person and that you like how you look. Do this daily when looking in the mirror at yourself--it works! See yourself as God sees you. Do you really think God sees you on the inner, or outside of yourself as being ugly? Of course not! As Joyce Meyer once said, "You're not a piece of trash--not the mailman, not the trashman, but God, the Creator of the entire universe, He has his eye on you!" Don't dwell on your past, look to the future and realize that it doesn't matter what others have said about you in the past, ONLY how God and you perceive yourself. Everyone has been called ugly, or been made fun of for one thing, or another--EVEN supermodels! Pray to God and ask God to help restore your self-esteem, read and think about the Bible daily and realize that God sees you as a beautiful person on the outside and inside. I hope this helps!
  • This sounds horribly familiar! Like the other poster said, a lot of us go through an awkward stage, particularly around puberty, which tends to be when our self-esteem is particularly delicate anyway- we tend to grow up believing that we are unatrractive based on our "ugly phase" despite all evidence to the contrary. Its also important to remember that schoolgirls are the cruellest people in the world. Very often girls who insult others have very low self-esteem and low body image themselves. They try to deal with this by critisising other's looks to make themselves feel better. Its actually often the most attractive girls who suffer the harsh end of this bullying because the plainer girls are jealous and hope to knock them from favour. Unfortunately the poor girls tend to end up believing this completely false picture. Consider that celebrities and models that the world considers impossibly beautiful often have a disproportionately low self-image. This image you have of yourself has taken years to develop, so don't expect to tackle it overnight. If you feel you have a major problem with believing yourself unattractive which stretches to the extent of avoiding mirrors or going out, or taking several hours to put on make up you may be exhibiting symptoms of Body Dysmorphic Disorder. You can have a look at this link for some basic info on the condition: http://www.btinternet.com/~david.veale/bddinfo.html but I would suggest you speak to a qualified psychiatrist for a diagnosis of your particular problem. If you feel your problem is less severe it may help you to think about the reasons the girls at school might have called you ugly. You will find the least of these reasons is the possibility of it being true- it has far more to do with jealousy and competetiveness. Also take the time to get to know your whole body. We all have parts we don't like, but instead learn to focus on what you do like: perhaps you have well-groomed hands, good legs or pretty feet. Make the most of these when you dress and you will feel more confident. Make sure you take the time to appreciate and pamper your body with long bubble baths, scented body lotions and homemade facials. Its your body- do it for you, not for the girls at school, or for men- enjoy your body for the beautiful and unique gift that it is, don't punish it for not living up to some imagined ideal. Good luck, you will get through it.
  • Girls can be treacherous. if someone looks better than themself, then they try to discredit that person, with hurting comments. Believe this. if you are attractive now, you were attractive then. jealousy was the name of their game. look in the mirror and what do you see? if you judge yourself to be an 8 on a scale of 10, then you will make it. The past is the past. dismiss the jealous comments, and get on with your life. move forward, do not dwell on the past.
  • School is perhaps one of the hardest things you have to do in my opinion. When i was in high school it was horrible! Drama was perhaps the worse, everyone looking at you, and picking on you to try and make you look stupid. I think i lost all my self esteem as a result of 5 agonising years. But you have to realise that people who are nasty have normally got problems in their lives. So they feel a way of ridding themselves of all the bad feelings they have, is to say something cruel to someone they see as being weaker than them. Not necessarily true comments, but ones they know will hurt the other person and make them react to it. People used to call me names all the time, people who were in lower classes and were less intelligent. People do it sometimes because they are jealous, not always of how you look, maybe how you can relate with your friends, how you do in school, where you live, your family life, anything!!! It is very hard though, and i can understand completely how it feels to have to cope with that kind of verbal abuse. But now you are free of them, you are free of all that negativity.And you say people call you beautiful, and men talk to you. That is a really good thing, because its positive and the more you get used to this, the better i think you will feel. I just vowed to myself that i would regain my confidence just to show them that they couldnt affect me. And of course memories of it haunt me, but you do have to learn to love yourself. Friends and bfs are really helpful in this, like with your friends you could go shopping, get a facial, do each others nails or anything that will make you feel pretty! And with a bf you have support in the sense that someone loves you for who you are. The feeling that someone wants you to be with them and is attracted to you will also help you see that you are attractive. Its not always easy but now you are not around people who hurt you, you can be you and not worry what others think.Your friends like you for being you, as do these men! You should take it as a compliment people say you are beautiful and use it as a stepping stone into rebuilding your self esteem. I hope this helped a little if anything x
  • Ur sad
  • look at yourself in the miror and tell yourself you are beautiful, because although i can't see you i know your beautiful cos every 1 is in there own way, don't let hater get you down!!
  • Many children feel inadequate during their teen years. My advice is to overcome the past and celebrate your current newfound beauty.
  • That's up to you -- that's why they call it SELF-esteem...
  • They only ruined it if you let them. Tell your memories to go away and live in the present where you're smokin' hot. Listen to the men and it will become truth after while.
  • i've been in your shoes before.. i just try hard to let go of the past and live in the present where men actually notice and want to be with me.
  • remember that it happens to everyone... everyone has their shortcummings and has been teased in some way. most people may seem to be confident, and sometimes this can be mistaken for arrogance. You are beautiful and the only thing you need to do is believe that. Im sure even angelina jolie was called "big lips" or something to that effect and look at her.. girls will be girls you know
  • i know how that feels i went throught the same thing now in high school the say im pretty but when i look in a mirror i think im ugly they might of hurt your self esteem but if girls say that then i guess its true
  • In most cases girls say things perhaps because they're jealous of you, so maybe they were ones with low self esteem so they pick on the prettiest girl they can find to make themselves feel better.
  • I am certain that you have beauty with in and without. Trust yourself. Understand that true beauty comes from within. Who knows what motives those silly adolescent girls had when they called you ugly. they were too young to know what beauty really is. You can work on your self-esteem by reminding yourself that only you can determine your own beauty. No one can tell you what you are. Believe me--you are beautiful, attractive and intelligent.
  • ever heard of the story of the ugly duckling? and ever considered that the middle school girls might have called you ugly because you were vulnerable to them but was beautiful, and they were jealous of you? so they took advantage of your vulnerability to make you feel inferior to them? i am a girl, but i know that girls can be bitches sometimees.... to get your self esteem back... involve yourself in things. don't let your looks affect you. just plunge in and do what you are good at. it can be helping others, involving yourself in a sport, whatever. do somthing useful, and don't expect to get praise from day 1. but eventually people will start noticing you and will want to talk to you for who you are and not for your looks. and if someone talks to you (even guys) talk back to them ... i have found guys can be really good friends, and they are interesting to talk to - don't get too shocked by the content of their talks though... they start and end their conversations with sex most of the time :/ and you have to have a bit of a sense of humour to get along with some guys... also, every morning just look in your mirror and try to see the beautiful girl you are. everyone has a feature that makes them beautiful in some ways. and btw... keep smiling, a smiley face is more attractive than one who is not :) hope this helped!
  • Think about the fact that it was them, not you, that were 'ugly'. They were young, dumb and rude. Would you take a bunch of middle school kids seriously if they said that to you today? Of course not, they are only silly middle schoolers! Well, think about that. Those girls were just silly middle schoolers.
  • you let them get to you. its call the looking-glass self. people say something about you and you start believing it. we used the term "whore" call a girl one long enough, she's gonna start believing it and slowly but surely she's gonna start acting "whore-ish"
  • yes, that happens to alot of girls 'ugly duckling syndrom' (not a real syndrom of course). your NOT ugly. trust me, i know EACTLY what your talking about, i thought i was genuinly ugly till about yr ago because i grew up being the 'ugly sister', i grew up having almost only male friends and i was one of the guys, and i stopped having so many male friends now because they would call me a tease or say i was leading them on when i acted EXACTLY the same when i was 'unattractive'. just because i became more attractive in their eyes they began to treat me and view me differently and no matter what they couldnt JUST be my friend there was always something else they were after wether it was sex or a relationship. just keep in mind beauty is relative, beauty fades, and what attracts people the most is confidence, honesty, charisma, and a genuine personality and people who are your 'friends' because of what you look like physically arent real friends and never will be.
  • OK, I was you, only it was 20 years ago. The stigma of ugly stays for a while...but you have to remember that those girls may have helped in bringing down your self esteem but only you can keep it up and continue to do so. I was "ugly" becaseu I tried to keep up with the Joness and tried hair and clothes styles that didn't suit me. Oh, and my nose wsn't great. But I fixed the nose and that's when it changed. People were looking at what a nice body, pretty eyes and curly hair I had becasue they (and I) weren't focused on my nose. One thing you will have over them all is that you will learn to appreciate the compliments and you will be a "nice" beautiful person instead of a stank slut. Also, and this is very important, if you FEEL gorgeous everyone else will feel it to. Fake it 'til you make it, that's what I've heard. That doesn't mean you pretend to love yourself. Really love yourself until your mind can't help but think you are perfect and wonderful. Trust me, a winning personality combined with a nice featured person is always #1.
  • You look in the mirror, what do you see? What do you really see? The only opinion that really means anything is yours. Did you think you were ugly before they started that? Probably not. My guess is that you weren't ugly then, and you're not ugly now. They were just trying to hurt you and it worked. It also ruined your self-esteem. Someone tells you something bad long enough, you will begin to believe it. And you will become what they say. Past is past. Stop looking back and move forward. If you are too busy looking behind you, you'll end up missing some truly special, wonderful things along the way. If someone else is calling you beautiful and If men are also approaching you, they obviously see something that you're not seeing. You need to love yourself and then someone else can love you too. Maybe surround yourself with friends that care, talk to someone, that always makes me feel better.
  • I understand what you went through too. I have very low self-esteem and so far I'm trying to fight it and try to think better of myself with the help of my bf and friends and family. Just think of them as being jealous. Which is probably what they were, that and insecure about themselves since they had to make fun of you by calling you "ugly". Everyone is beautiful in their own way, and what others think about you shouldn't be important. Unless they are you mom or s/o then don't worry about it. And the other thing is that since you said that other guys call you beautiful and they wanna be all over you, that should give you an even bigger reason to raise your self-esteem. They tell you themselves, bluntly, that you are beautiful. So that should prove to you that you are and need to think of yourself in that way. I'm not saying be conceited and want attention, no, just accept and love your self. We can be our own worst critics, but if you can think of yourself as an amazing person, then whatever some dumbass says out there won't pertain to you cuz you know they are jealous.
  • Watch the movie the Libertine. Pay attention to the part where he describes the two types of people to Elizabeth. Meditate on his advise to her...
  • Girls in middle school make fun of the pretty girls becuase that is what makes THEM feel better... as the girls get older they realize beauty on th outside isnt always what counts but on the inside also...so they lighten up on the making fun...(alittle) ...but dont worry about it. and just realize everyone is beaituful EVERYONE. It just takes confidence, health, and a pretty little smile. ...(so smile) your fine.
  • those girls tried to..but you allowed them to..look at yourself and think you are beautiful..exercise..it will make you happy..life is gorgeous and you need to think that way
  • If guys -try- to talk to you, it means that you are very attractive. You shouldn't think of yourself as ugly, ever. Don't try to get back at these people that called you ugly. You went through pain and hurt, would you really want to grant that on someone else? Just forget about the whole thing, and get back to living your life without being self conscience about anything.
  • I'm still in high school, I get it ALL the time....just think of the things you like in yourself, might be yours eyes...hair. etc. In the end, you will notice more and more things...it'll help =]
  • Yes, those girls hurt you. You have to recognize that and realize that they are ugly on the inside and you are not. You have to tell yourself that you are pretty. The proof will be if others will be attracted to you. In the mean time, look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are pretty.
  • I guess you could listen to all the men and live in the moment. After all just because you used to be something doesn't mean you are now. Shit! You should be able to look in the mirror and know, and even if you are ugly it sounds like you can get some good guys anyway. I say good for you... do what makes you happy. Your probably hot anyway.
  • it's all in your head!!!
  • Maybe back then they felt "ugly" (like you said you feel now) and their way of feeling "beautiful" was to tell others that they were the ugly ones - trying to make themselves feel better/superior -projecting their own feelings of crap onto someone else. The thing is, by telling others that they are ugly - it only makes the person making those comments appear hideous. Seriously, i question what "beauty" and "ugly" really are. I don't believe that anyone is ugly - unless they eg. put others down to make other people feel like crap. If you went to a reunion, you might see what deadbeats they turned out to be anyway. You'd get the last laugh.
  • just roll your eyes and say whatever, or just laugh and walk off.
  • Follow this quote and you'll do just fine: "Everything in life, and even life itself can be in the eyes of the beholder." Another piece of advice: Men like girls with confidence. Its almost always true. To gain confidence i did stupid %#@$ like going into a sewer at midnight with a friend. Do things that are REALLY scary to do and you absolutley dont wanna do it, and then you soon realize that because you did so and so amount of things you really didnt want to do, what makes this next thing that takes confidence above those?
  • It doesnt matter what they think yea u feel terrible but if you let go and trust God about it, you will feel better... REMEMBER: ITS ONLY YOUR OPINION THAT COUNTS!!!!!!!!!! (well yours and God's)
  • Ever hear the saying "Practice makes perfect"? What's not usually considered is, if you practice doing something WRONG, you become perfectly incorrect. What I see in you statement is someone who has practiced being ugly and has become an expert at it. Those girls didn't ruin your self esteem, YOU ruined your self esteem by buying into their nonsense. What's more, you give fresh energy to that nonsense each and every time you repeat (practice) something that hurt your feelings. Hot coals will burn your hands, but you don't hold onto them and complain that they hurt. If you understand that, you understand the necessity of dropping whatever thoughts you carry that hurt you. Simply replace them with thoughts you prefer and identify with the confirmation of those people feed back to you what you CHOOSE to believe. Remember...PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT!
  • I was the pickon for I don't know how many years. Now girls AND women won't quit staring and flirting. Here's what you tell yourself; "F*** them, they will burn in hell." And most of the time they outgrow it. When they do and try and talk to you, repay the favor with interest. Ps, people usually tease because of their insecurities, btw were these girls ugly?
  • Poor thing. Yes, it sounds like the middle school girls did some emotional damage. Physical exercize does wonders. Therapy might help. Even if you're beautiful, you've probably have lost the ability to objectively assess your looks when you look in the mirror. If you post your photo I'll honestly assess your looks.

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