My family is not into memorials. We get cremated and are not interested in the ashes. Why do others try to tell us how wrong we are and how much we'll "regret it later on"?
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ANSWERS: 16
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Honestly don't listen to others...It is not their business what you do or don't do
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Because people have different opinions :) Which tend to make things more interesting. As long as you're happy with the way things are...yeah :)
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I signed up for a program that uses my remains to help med students and donations. no funeral no cost and no grave yard. I hear the same thing about my choice like i am cheating others out of standing over me crying that i am gone. Here's the deal people have opinions and are entitled to them. they do not always think that others are entitled to their own opinions. What you decide to do to your body is your business and you will only regret it if you do not follow your heart.
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I could understand Keith Richards telling you that if you don't keep your father's ashes around you'll regret it every time you see a flat, smooth surface and a straw. ;)
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People seem to want others to share their feelings about death. It somehow comforts them to share in a 'common' style of grieving. I have my father's ashes, and intend to spread them in a place that he felt strongly about. I am doing this for myself, and pass no judgment on how others choose to honor the loved ones they have lost.
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People assume that everyone is like them. It is difficult for many people to grasp the idea that this isn't so, and to then understand that it is a good thing and doesn't need to be 'fixed'. There is a word for this phenomena, but I can't remember what it is. It is something we all deal with but some will grow beyond it. My family is like yours. My father just died. He was cremated and we don't know, or care where his ashes will end up. He is gone. We don't need a memorial to remember him or to stand over to to miss him. Do what feels right to you and ignore the advice coming from people who don't understand things in the way that you do.
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i agree with your family. makes more sense to me~
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Do what feels right for you and your family. The opinion of others is unimportant.
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You shouldn't regret your decision at all. I think funerals with the expensive caskets are silly. To put a $3000.00 or more box in the ground to rot doesn't make much sense.
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I say good for you! That seems perfectly healthy to me! I'm way too attached and get way too upset. I don't see how anyone can scatter ashes because then it's like "getting rid of them". I know I'm way too sensitive about this and wish I could change it!
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People generally dont want you to find your own answers in life, they want you to listen to their's. The stark truth however, is that all you're ever going need is yourself. Even at the time of death ironically.
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You may regret it and here's why. When my grandfather died the ashes were brought home to my parents house. Those ashes sat around for months with the "what to do with them" question hanging over head. One day my father decided that since they would be living in that home for the rest of their lives...spreading them on the property was the solution. So he takes them out and begins spreading them under the trees...never once taking into account that the chickens wouldn't be able to tell the difference between Gramps and scratch. The flock descended and ate grandpa. Now if you don't know where the ashes are...how you going to have comedy like that?? Do what is right for your family.
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People tell you you will regret it because that is how they feel. To lose someone is a tragic event and all people deal with it differently. Someone telling you you are wrong is just them trying to help you. Do not feel threatened or harrased. I wish you luck in your mourning.
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I agree with doing it that way, and I see nothing at all wrong in that
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Used to be that cemeteries were like parks where you could go to "commune" with your loved ones. They even had picnic tables under the trees, and benches to sit on. And the memorials are not for YOU, but for your kids and their progeny. It tells them something about you that might not be available elsewhere. (Just because YOU aren't into them doesn't mean your grandkids/great-grandkids or farther won't be... And they might light to "visit" your grave.) Believe me... As an amatuer genealogist, cemeteries and headstones are where we can find a LOT of information on our ancestors.
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because there a some people, who believe that only they know the right way to do things. Some people live their lives on the moral highground where they are able to cast down their judgemental upon others as if, in some way, they are superior. And often, they believe they are. Often these people are religous as well. Take no notice of them - they're talking a load of old rubbish. Sometimes it's a desire to control others and some of them just love to perscute anybody they can. Don't take it personally, they are simply not clever enough to be able to accept others with different views - but that's Church Bangers for you.
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