ANSWERS: 47
  • That's a pretty vast generalization. Many people have issues with sharing deep emotions with others stemming from possibly a less-than-stellar childhood or past trauma. Maybe there wasn't a huge traumatic experience, but they just never learned how to open up. We're not all like that...but some of us are. I've also met women who fit your description perfectly as well. Points up because I hate seeing a question with negative points and no answers. I think that's just rude. Be well.
  • You must attract bastards. No offense, I mean I don't know you or anything, but, usually bitches attract bastards.
  • Same reason all us women are selfish bitches who care only for money and things a man can do for us, I suppose.
  • Why are women so selfish, needy, and most of the time completely unpredictable? I think everyone needs to stop generalizing! As soon as you're done with your super-feminist phase, we can talk rationally about your problems. Most people are selfish. Not just men. How is being independent a bad thing? I would say it is better than being clingy. Men often are hesitant to show emotions because our society imposes the notions that men are rational and women are over-emotional. By being emotional, is supposedly makes one less manly. I don't buy that but many men feel uncomfortable sharing their emotions.
  • I don't think this is true of men in general. I think it's true of some humans. The reason why would vary from person to person.
  • excellent, another blanket generalization "to generalize is to be an idiot" william blake have a nice day
  • Independence is manly and an overabundance of emotion is weak. As far as selfishness goes.. well no one's perfect ;)
  • Not all men are like that.
  • So, who was the dude who pissed you off?
  • Most men aren't like that at all!!! You're just really upset right now, and that's understandable. But venting like that on AnswerBag could hurt a lot of the guys' feelings on here... No, I am not a guy, but your question just struck me as really unfair to them...
  • What a stereotype!
  • ah, so it's no "all men", it's your baby's father - then why don't you just say so? And stop being so rude to all the other guys around here who are probably quite decent, family-loving, law-abiding blokes who haven't done a thing to hurt you in any way. Jeez, if you can't make a decision for yourself and your kid in private, at least do it without bitching about strangers you know nothing about!
  • Every man I have ever been with has been like this. I really know how to pick them.
  • We just expect all women are going to be manipulative cunts to us so we keep a wall up. I am always right...
  • ..I know a man like this...he is quite selfish, and chooses to keep his emotions (towards me anyways) very hidden...and yet, I find myself endlessly drawn to him.......being such an emotional being myself, I guess I like the challenge... Not all men are like this though...as I am extremely independent and sometimes like to have a crazee partner follow my lead...
  • I have been seeing my boyfriend for about 7 months in a long distance relationship. In the beginning he used to share his heart with me all the time (every day)...after the 2nd time I saw him and returned to my home state, he did a 180 degree change on me...has not left me...doesn't desire to break up...but now, sharing emotions is sappy to him. He's completely different from the way he started...can anyone tell me why? He still says he wants to see me and loves me, etc..but not like before and when I try to find out "why" he gets really upset with me. I just don't want to get hurt!
  • Me selfish? I dont think so....No emotuion from me? Thats not correct missy.... You see you have been dating junior members of our species. They are the same ones that get drunk at fraternity parties and hit on every girl in the place and turn around the next day and tell you how much you mean to them. Us older gentlemen are more refined, have retirement plans, and live in nice neighborhoods. We drive decent cars and drink cabernet or merlot and actually pay for our dates dinners without expecting anything in return. Yes us older gents we know how to treat the ladies. You just havent found the right match dear. Generalizing like that makes you sound a tad ignorant.
  • Hmmm. I don't know that all men are like that. I mean I like to guy bash with the best of them but not all are like that. My bro isn't like that.
  • They're not. The better question would be why do you attract men that are selfish, independent, and emotionless? Wait, why do you have independent listed as if were a negative trait?
  • Not all of us are. Some of us never even get the chance to be recognized as being nice guys. Some of us are ignored, and if you're an autistic the non-verbal, verbal, and the social naunces can be quite a painful thing for us to do. We want to communicate to show that we are nice, be we just have a hard time expressing ourselves. As to why NT males are selfish, and show no emotion. I would guess we we're raised in an environment not to in order it showed weakness and be exploited, and slowly lose trust with people hint, the independence. We aren't born slefish or with no emotion, it was raised through us in years of systematic abuse.
  • Because they feel that they have to be strong and people think that they have to always be in control. They think they can do everything by themselves. :)
  • You got yourself a selfish man but most men are not like him. Please don't generalize. +4
  • In defense for most of the men who show no emotion: if there mothers stopped telling them that big boys don't cry maybe more of them would. Our culture, including most women teach boys that they are to be tough, macho, and "suck it up," whenever they encounter pain and uncertainty. So why is it so surprising that they only express, or in this case don't express, what they have only been taught from childhood? You can't have it both ways.
  • because that is the way they are made to be, but i guess not all... they do care bust just don't know how to show emotion and they always like there independence...
  • Wow! Do I really come across like that?
  • Men are from mars and women are from Venus. They both are born to play different roles in life, their way of thinking is different, an idea of perfect life is different. at times there are people who's ideas, way of thinking and idea of lifestyle match. ladies and gentleman, that is when world sees a great love story.
  • To balance out women who are needy, spendthrifts, and cry all the time. Men take hardship as a matter of course, because if we know if we sit and cry about it the hardship will kill us and all those we are responsible for (Wife and children). I guess he's not like before because your average guy can get out all thier emotions in 3 or 4 conversations. After that, there is simply nothing left to talk about. There are exceptions for guy who are emotional wrecks, but you'll find them rather useless, and unable to cope with daily stresses. Sharing emotions WITH him is fine, he will be there to be the pedastal that holds you up. He feels like the support structure, if he's not the rock (Not Dwayne Jhonson), who will be the support?
  • girl....youre gonna get us all in trouble
  • Man are not geared towards emotion as women are, simply. Emotion is often thought of as a sign of weakness. And rather to risk being weak or being perceived as weak, they choose the other road, as you elaborated upon in your question. However, a real man can be emotional. Once he sees the beauty in it, and can control it, keeping it in moderation, life can and will be that much more fulfilling.
  • - definitely not all of us are selfish. - its better to be independent than co-dependent - we can control our emotions better, we are also more introverted when it comes to expressing our feelings, why? i'm not sure.
  • who really cares whether they're all of the above, not even worth wasting your time on.
  • b/c they were taught to not cry and be a man when they're kids.
  • because thats the way we are. if you dont like it you can go lesbian, heck most women are almost lesbian anyways so why dont yo udo us a favor and go find out the pleaures of muff diving.
  • men are def. not selfish and independent is a good thing.
  • Gee, maybe it's because they fear being judged if they reveal any "weakness".
  • I guess because we have been labeled and stereotyped as such.
  • Because men have a different kind of a brain, wired differently, than women! Men have neuro functions that are focused in specific areas. A woman's brain has functions that are more scattered and involve different areas of the brain. Women process information and visual cues differently! Women see more color than men do. To quote Jack Lemon, from the movie "Some Like It Hot," "It's like a whole other sex!"
  • Not. . . . . . .ALL. . . . . .men are!
  • What exactly is the problem with each of these?
  • They show emotion all right, but only to certain people they actually spend time with. The rest are basically out of the loop.
  • Boys are taught at a young age that to show emotion is to show weakness.
  • Because those particular men have experiences and knowledge which leads them to act in sych fashion. Personally i see nothing wrong with being a bit selfish because its a natural instinct. Independent is a good quality because it means a person is in a relationship because they want to be and not because they cannot exist without one. I show the emotions I feel. But being that i have never been in love and never will be because my spirit cannot grasp anything outside of general human compassion, it seems to some that I am cold.
  • I think it's because. Men have no real purpose anymore if women need sex the can use u men as toys or sperm donors. Men want to be needed they all want all the power and the acclaim they are all silver back gorilla's. If they are not like this i bet people call them gay. Men try to fool women to think not all of them are the same (that is the funniest part). Men are getting worse as the Times get more worse. I am not gay but it sure looks good. Why should i have to raise a grown man that has bigger feet than me. Men like u in the begining because they have to pull u in to be the slave hand in the bed room and the kitchen. All men really care about is what the guy next door thinks of them. That is the truth. And if u think it's not ask ur girlfriend I bet she would agree.
  • it just may be in some of their nature & they can not help it....i guess .
  • Wow! Mostly cynics answering this one. I'd say this is a loaded question asked by a jaded person that's had more than a few bad relationships and not enough good ones. There are plenty of good men in the world. Maybe you just need to try meeting them somewhere besided the bars or clubs.
  • Because we're not women. Except men are often taught to be selfish by women. Just as women are often taught to be selfish by men. When one person in a relationship gets selfish, regardless of gender, the other usually does too. We are independent because we generally want to be the provider. It's part of what makes men, men. We show emotion less than women, which is, again, a natural difference between the sexes. If we showed our emotions the same way women do, you'd probably be asking why you can't find a real man. Make an effort to understand men and see them for what they are instead of trying to relate to them the way you would women, and you might be surprised at the results. I'm a big fan of Alison Armstrong, who is a genius when it comes to helping men & women understand each other better. Her goal is not to 'fix' men (or women), but to help us understand each other. http://understandmen.com
  • That's a pretty bad generalization. I'm not a selfish person, I like to give and do things for people. I can be independent, but there is nothing wrong with being independent is there. And some guys are just uncomfortable with showing emotions. While others like me have no problem having a little cry, even in front of friends.

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