ANSWERS: 28
  • I don't know the details - but Halloween is just one day and it won't damage your son if he misses it this year. What is the message you are trying to teach your son, if stopping him from going out for Haloween this year relays the correct message then perhaps it is worth it in the long run?
  • Hi stormy. I don't have kids, but I would not take Halloween away from any kid. Halloween is such a big part of any person's childhood.
  • Too harsh. He'll remember that forever.
  • I was not a big disciplinarian of my sons, yet they grew up to be so, and your husband sounds a little like my oldest son. But as parenting is between both of you, I think your husband should consider your feelings and ask your opinion before he declares anything like .. no Halloween this year!
  • Personally, Halloween (Samhain) is a big deal in my house, so no, I would not take it away. You can't "take away" a holiday, the day still remains, the child still knows what's going on. I would have perhaps set an earlier curfew or disallowed trick-or-treating with friends, but he still would have been able to hand out candy. Then again, I don't know what's most effective for your children and it's not my house.
  • Why would anyone down rate this question? I was just asking if you would punish your child the same. Would the drive by down raters like to explain yourselves?
  • he felt the punishment fits the crime.be very cautious,do not take sides,this is an age when kids are begining to understand if they are indeed loved.by you interfering,you can cause him to drift away from his father.don't spare the rod and spoil your child.
  • I don't know what the details are or how severe your sons behavior was, but if I have a child and he/she does something very bad...then I would consider what the best punishment would be. If I feel like taking away Halloween would be the best way to get through to the child, then maybe missing one Halloween out of their childhood isn't such bad thing...but again it all depends.
  • I don't think I would ever take a "holiday" of any sort away as a punishment. It is punishing the whole family! What was the infraction that was so bad as to take away such a big thing?
  • Maybe he learned his lesson and your son will straighten up. I would have done the something. The good thing the came from this is that when Dad says something junior you take that to the bank.
  • If what your son did, or refused to do is something important, then your husband could have been right. Also, if your son needed an example he will remember for some time to make a point that he is the child and you are the parents, then it could have been justified. Your son will definitely remember what he did wrong to get halloween taken from him, and although a tad harsh, the punishment could lead to effective results. As for ever taking it away from my own kids, that would depend upon the situation, and what was done. Taking away a major holliday from kids is not something I would do lightly. I think the furthest I would go except under extreme circumstance, is to let them go trick-or-treating, and then not allow them any of the candy for two weeks. That would really get their attention too, without spoiling their fun time.
  • I don't know that you can take away a holiday. I certainly wouldn't "take away" Samhain. It is the most significant holiday of the year for me. However, certain privileges are for those who can control their behavior, so trick-or-treating is something I can and would take away, for instance.
  • Heck no! How would I get any candy then!?! haha But seriously, I don't think I could do that...I'd just hide the candy for a few days or something!
  • My thoughts on this are that you are upset because you cannot rummage through your sons Hallowe'en bags. ;) http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/452445 Kidding! I don't celebrate Hallowe'en. My parents believe it's the "Devil's Day". I don't really think I'm missing out on too much. Sure, I hear it's fun, but being greedy and getting cavities just isn't my idea of having a good time. ;) By the way, I actually think taking "Hallowe'en" away from a child is a good punishment for someone with a bad attitude or poor behaviour. I understand why someone wouldn't think it was a good punishment, but you are asking for our opinions and that's what I think.
  • I feel that you and your husband should make decisions together and you do not seem to be on the same page as far as parenting goes. Sounds like it's time to sit down and get on the same page with a talk.
  • I see holidays as seperate. If my child gets in trouble. I will usually find other ways to deal with it than taking away a holiday. As for my husband, he would have a bigger issue with me making such a punishment without us deciding together.
  • I would never do that. Halloe'en is a festive Holiday. It would be lioke taking Christmas or the 4th of July celebrations away because he was naughty once.
  • Never. You shouldn't take any holiday from anyone, whether it means something or not to them. Is this punishment going to teach him anything, or will it cater to more rebellion? I know that if it was me as a child, I loved Halloween so much that I would have been more than upset.
  • I would never take halloween or any other holiday away. I could see being grounded to room before and after your festival. And no candy until grounding over. If my husband did this we would be fighting for along time. --- Maybe you could talk to your husband and work out something like maybe if your son is good at school from now until Halloween your son could earn it back. Then your husband will still feel as if he was punished. If this was last week. Is your son grounded for the whole month? Or just punished once almost a month late? I think punishments should be immediate or the loose effectivness, just makes the child mad by the time the concequence gets there.
  • You should never take away a night that lets kids get all the free candy they want,especially from an eight year old. Instead let him go trick or treating and dont let him eat the candy untill like 2 or 3 days later depending on what he did at school.
  • Behavior at school and day that is one in a year are 2 different thinds. If the kid is smart he will be much worse at school after halloween than before. Anyway I think it's awful to take halloween from such young kid. should get punishment after, e.g. take away candies he collected for a week or somthing like that.
  • I'm in the minority here, but yes I would. Of course it would have to be something pretty bad & my husband & I would have to make the decision together. W/ that being said, I wouldn't take it off the table completely. Gauge his regret level. When I was a kid, if I did something bad, something to be ashamed of, the worst punishment my parents gave me was when they'd make me call my grandparents & tell them what I did. It was BRUTAL! I remember one time having to wait several hours for them to get off work to call them. The whole day, I just thought about what I did & how sorry I was for it. Then come 5:00, as I was preparring to have to call my parents set me down & went over my behavior & didn't make me call my grandparents. They could see how remorseful I was. I didn't take it for granted. See how things go today & tomorrow. If he's snotty about it, then keep it away. However, if he's actually remorsefull & deserves to have it, then you need to give it back.
  • Your husband did not take away halloween from you son. YOUR SON LOST IT. If your son's behavior was that bad, then he doesn't deserve to be rewarded, so his actions and decisions led to him losing Halloween. How soft are you on your son if your husband is a big meanie? How about supporting your husband's attempts at discipline. If you both agree and set expectations that are clear and consistant then your son will make better decisions.
  • I don't know if the punishment is too severe: I don't know enough about your family. One thing is clear: you and your husband aren't working together. When it comes to effective discipline, consistency is key! For big punishments like this (I say big because on one hand there's small punishments like a 20-minute time-out; but Halloween is a big deal to your son and something he shares with his peers: he'll feel left-out for days or weeks or however long kids bring candy in their lunches, and his punishment will be public humiliation because the other kids will see he didn't go out for Halloween and they'll ask him why), your husband and you should've reached an agreement ahead of time. It's like a big purchase: hopefully your husband wouldn't go out and buy a truck without talking to you first!? But it's too late for that now: now it's important to present a united front. Don't let your son know you feel like his dad is "a big meanie." That would only pit your son against his father, and I hope it's obvious why that'd be bad for your family. It could also teach your son that you're a 'softie' and easy to manipulate. You and your husband need to sit down and have a conversation about disciplining your kid(s). Conversations like this require clarity, honesty, and reasonableness. It might help to sit down ahead of time and get your thoughts organized (like what do you think is appropriate, not just about this but in general; and what are your concerns or questions about your husband's actions?). Choose a good time to talk: when you have time to yourselves and neither of you are stressed or having bad days. It's important to remain calm: if things get heated, take a break and try again the next day -- don't let it turn into a fight. And watch your words: don't bait him or accuse him, and talk about you, not him: "I feel concerned about the harshness of your punishments," not "Your punishments are too harsh." Good luck! I know I wrote a lot but sometimes these problems need more than a quick-fix, so I hope I helped!! :)
  • If it was me Id feel horrible taking away Halloween. What I would do instead is allow him to go out. But keep the candy for a week or two before I allowed him to have it.
  • Truthfully, I'm not to keen on giving it to her in the first place. We've never made a big deal of it. She usually has a costume and goes to the houses of a few friends. We put the candy up and she knows its there to ask for, but she usually forgets about it in a few days anyway and six months later I throw it away. She's allergic to chocolate and nuts, so she can't have most of it anyway. In the end, which is going to be more important to your son, growing up to be a responsible and educated man, or getting a bunch of candy?
  • It would depend upon the severity of their actions. I would be furious if I were the parent "taking away" halloween, of course, as I love Halloween and myself like to participate in the activities. At school, there are many activities that children participate in, such as carving pumpkins, singing songs, drawing and the like. Technically, if that's the case for this boy, then he really is only missing out on a sugar rush and a costume. I do think it's harsh, but if his actions proved him undeserving, than so be it.
  • Is he the child's father? If not, there's a whole new level of concern there... If so, I still think this is an extremely severe punishment and that you and your husband need to have an adult discussion about discipline and come to an agreement on the proper way to handle these situations. If you can come to an agreement on a better punishment for this situation, it's not too late to have another discussion with your son about giving Halloween back because it was too severe a punishment, but that you have a more fitting punishment. And don't make the punishment at all fun. (I'm thinking along the lines of a great deal of manual labor for the kid instead. Make him EARN Halloween back.) He may respect you even more for doing so. It's tough to say whether the punishment fits the crime in this case, since we don't know the crime. I can honestly say, however, there aren't very many things I would take away a holiday for.

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