Is never having a girlfriend a red flag to women?
I'm 23 and I havent had a girlfriend before, I just haven't had much luck in the dating scene. But is it a red flag to women if they find out that I've never had a girlfriend? Would they less likely want to date me? Why or why not? Please let me know your thoughts, im open to all your opinions!
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ANSWERS: 3
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Relax. Just think of how many girls might not have had a boyfriend. A lot of young people have never had an exclusive long-term relationship. I say relax and focus on developing a meaningful relationship and try not to worry about what others think or do. I know it's hard with social media, so just breathe and live your life and you will get there.
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I don't think 23 is of any age where I'd think something is wrong with you, but don't put "I haven't had much luck on the dating scene." Own the fact that you haven't found a girl that you are that interested in, or that you've bonded with, in this way you don't fall into the "Oh life just happens to me" category, women don't tend to like that way of thinking. Girls don't tend to like men that put it about a lot, but haven't been able to sustain a relationship as it demonstrates a problem with commitment, just like men don't want to take the local bike home to their mothers, women don't want to either, hence if you don't have too much mileage that can sometimes be in your favour.
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Steelers20 Thanks for your response! The reason why I put that in there is because I have asked this question on other platforms and I get alot of comments telling me to ask a girl out on a date, or that I should try talking to women, as if I was too shy to do those. I have done those things and I've been on plenty of dates so I wanted to make sure I had it cleared up before someone thought I wasn't trying. I was just trying to get advice and see what girls opinions are about it. I've actually did get rejected because she I had told her that I havent had a girlfriend before when she asked about past relationships. So thats is what caused me to start asking this question. -
Creamcrackered So did she take it in the way that you are a perpetual dater and not looking for commitment? That is a reason why a woman would be put off, normally you having not dated much or not had a relationship isn't a turn off at the young age of 23, in of itself. I'm just telling you this from a woman's perspective. Be confident, regardless, women like to know a man is confident in his choices, because they look to you as a partner and a strength. It's best to say that you are looking for a relationship, you just haven't found someone you've bonded with yet, be strong, and you will find the right girl. -
Creamcrackered Past relationships are never a good topic anyway, when you go on a date, take them somewhere where you actually do something together, this is a form of bonding and it creates a memory, where as a dinner, is just almost an interview, rather than an activity, and so it has a limited way of getting to know someone, as all you can really do at that point is talk about your past, which in reality has gone. So choose an activity that you work with together would be my best advice, sometimes in the doing, rather than in the talking is a better way to get to know each other in the here and now.
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Steelers20 Thank you! And she never talked to me again, she just ghosted me after that. I tried reaching out but never got a response. And I'm not afraid of being commitment to someone, getting 1 girl to keep talking to me is hard enough I can't even imagine talking to multiple girls at once. I just don't know what im doing that keeps turning girls away. I grew up being shy and worked really hard in life to not show it that im shy. So I don't even know how, if i am, showing any lack of when im talking to a girl. Its just getting so confusing now. Dating just seems way harder than how my parents tell me about it or how my friends do. And I have asked this question on multiple platforms and I've noticed a trend from what kind of response I get from people. But are you a woman or man and how old are you? Sorry if those question seem random but I just have been noticing a trend from the responses I get when I ask the original question. Thank you again!
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Creamcrackered I'm a woman in my forties, but you are right, times are different now, maybe it was easier when I was younger, people appear very quick to dismiss, especially with the way dating is now, with a swipe to the right and left, and in that way dismissing a whole person all together. It's a shame, some people are just not willing to give anyone a chance these days, if I'd have gone on first opinions on my current partner, I wouldn't have dated him, thankfully I'm not as shallow as that. I wish you well Steelers, I 'm sure the right girl will come along, and I'm sure she'll be worth waiting for.
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Creamcrackered Like I said, if you could just get to do any activity with them, doing things together bonds people, even if it's helping them out as a friend, friendships can lead to relationships.
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Steelers20 Yeah dating is way harder than how most people tell me. Its just constantly leaving me with confusion and frustration. None of them ever tells me what I'm doing or what I did wrong that turns them away. Like there's gotta be something wrong so I make sure I'm not constantly making the same mistake over and over again. I'll definitely try out your advice and go on a date somewhere fun so if the girl ends up rejecting or ghosting me after, I would've at least had a fun time while it happened haha.
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Some women. You don't want those women anyway. Also it depends why you weren't dating. Just work on making you a better you and the right woman will see something she likes in you. Besides, dating is for weeding out the ones you don't want to spend forever with. It helps you learn what you do and don't want. You don't want to rush that. But you should date if you want to. Don't chicken out or ask us should I ask her out. If you're interested ask! The yes or no just points you in the next direction continue to date or move on to someone more suitable.
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Steelers20
Thanks for your response! I have been on plenty of dates but none of those girls ever wanted to be my girlfriend or really go any further than a first date, I don't think I've really ever gone on a second date before. At this point I don't even know whats going well or going bad all I know is that im just getting rejected. :\ -
Linda Joy
Here are some books that may help. I suggest trying to find them online for free or checking them out of a library first so you can look them over. https://theeverygirl.com/dating-books/
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