what is wrong here?
in short: i was raped as a child since i was probably as young as 4 years old until i was 9 by an older boy and a man at the time (family). grew up being extremely depressed, anxious, suicidal, paranoid and lonely from unknown reasons. i remember i started watching porn as young as about 8 years old. i daydream of them raping me now and i daydream of being a little girl again, too. then i feel extremely saddened because i know its messed up.
by 
rubyblue
ANSWERS: 2
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Hi Ruby. You just listed the "reasons" so they are not "unknown". You miss the attention you received as a child, especially if there were any pleasurable feelings connected with it. You over-focus on sex because you see it as the only way you have ever received attention. Best for you to cultivate other aspects of your life - work, study, friends, interests, helping others so you can develop other ways of valuing yourself and relating to others. .
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It is a daimonic, dysfunctional and erotomanic issue.
officegirl 
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