ANSWERS: 27
  • Single women have been approached by so many men that they have become frightened by the constant harassment. They are challenged by themselves, by their peers and by the guys to look their best, act their best and be the sterio-type that society has dictated. Married women can choose to ignore all that if they want.
  • mabey the single women you've approached have a reason that they're single? like being badly hurt in the past and are warey? or mabey married women are more approachable because they know they have thier husband somewhere behind them to protect them if its needed and so they feel more confident?
  • I am single and I totally disagree with this generalization, in fact if I have to make a generalization I have to say that I find exactly the opposite to be true much of the time. I find many married women to be bitchy and they complain about their "problems", yet many of those who complain have two incomes - including one larger than their own - and a house, plus many women do complain about dumb shit, and their mates are not as bad as they make them out to be. I think that the problem is that most single or divorced MEN are in their current marital status by choice, so they call having sex for awhile a "relationship", while the single women for the most part do want a REAL relationship (Sex in the City is NOT real life, btw). I have found many married women to be judgmental of single women, acting like they are better than us, as if being married makes them more acceptable (which I guess it does, in a way), and a better person or something. I have found many married women to be unduly suspicious of single women. I know plenty of single women, like myself, who are good, decent, and honest people if someone would take the time to get to know them. (Fortunately for me, someone has taken the time to get to know me, so we'll see if that continues to work out - I hope so, anyway.) I have found that many men will approach single women, even online, even when they know that those single women want something completely different - mostly because of looks and/or just plain sex. I have found quite a few men to be rather critical, and I have wondered whether they want a human being with substance or a Barbie doll who dotes on them (dream on, if so). But again, I think I may finally be fortunate enough to have found someone who is not these things, and of course you can not say that EVERY person in a particular gender/marital status is a certain way as each one of us is an individual, so I am just stating this based on my experiences and observations. Hopefully those experiences and obsevations have finally served me well in my current relationship, and it will continue to last.
  • How do you identify a person as single or partnered? There is no obvious way by looking at them, except that most married women wear wedding bands. If you go up to a woman and ask her if she is single, she probably feels she is being hit on. Women (and men) get mightily tired of this. The most common reason that someone asks you if you are single or attached is that they are interested in something more than being 'just friends'. If you are interested in being a friend, it makes no difference what kind of personal relationship they may have with someone else. It is not a question I would ask, unless I was interested in moving a relationship beyond simple friendship. ________________________________________ Re: "it is out of context and does not identify specifically with the question" I disagree. Unless a woman is 'marked' by a wedding band, you cannot tell if she has a partner without her telling you or signalling her status in another manner, e.g., a large gentleman with his arm around her shoulder. When people meet socially and fall into conversation with one another, information is voluntarily exchanged. This can include personal information about any relationships one or the other is involved in. On the other hand, if one of the first things you do is ask a question about her marital status, e.g., her 'availability', a woman may certainly become "cold and distant", as she could easily assume you are interested in her sexually. I have known single women to wear a band on their ring finger when they go out, to avoid being pestered by men. It is quite effective at keeping away those men who are looking for a 'good time'. Watch men look at women in a bar, for example. Many check out the face, the figure, and then the left hand. The presence of a ring usually ends the discussion before it starts.
  • I think this might arise from the fact that married women have found their "Mr Right" and are therefore more likely to be confident, more secure in themselves and therefore friendlier and more approachable. They've relaxed more. Single women are more likely to be worrying about attracting the right guys, attracting the wrong guys (!) not appearing slutty or leading people on, trying to avoid getting too involved with someone who might hurt them. They've got more reasons to feel self-concious or uptight, which might in many cases be interpreted as being "cold and distant". Of course, this is a gross generalisation- but so was the question. I'm not married and I'm both friendly and approachable! ;¬)
  • There is a "ring of truth" to this question which is undeniable, although not easily answered or understood. Realizing the psychological value of having a spouse and possibly having children and a home called, Family... even if it might be a childless family. It is apparent that there is a value of security which is almost always found within a micro-social setting called, a Relationship. Within a secure relationship there are external boundaries in place that allow for the reasonable expectation that the larger social setting called, Life, is therefore obscure from within the relationship, itself. This added sense of security within the micro-social setting affords the benefit of denying some responsibility or obligation to the "outside world." Whereas, a single person (male or female) does not enjoy the same benefit of security within a micro-social environment (family) because, for one thing, it doesn't exist and, secondly, any external boundaries that would be initiated (if they could be initiated in a beneficial manner) by a single person would also, then, prevent that person from experiencing the essential involvement needed to secure a relationship to begin with, which would not be beneficial. Therefore, most single people tend to feel vulnerable and will inadvertently intensify their internal defense mechanisms, while married couples tend to feel less vulnerable and will often lower their internal defense mechanisms. The symptom of this intesified internal response is displayed as an outward behavior called, "cold" and "distant, " when in reality it a natural expression of being "reserved" and "protective," which is based strictly upon vulnerability. Married people can afford to be friendly and approachable. Single people can not afford to be cold and distant. Although it is a strange dynamic, it is certainly an unfortunate reality. I hope this answer has helped.
  • In general, married women have their guard down, they are not worried about impressing you or how they're going to get away from you because they're not interested. This, of course, is not true in all situations, plenty of married women have sticks where the sun don't shine and plenty of single women are ready to mingle with you at the ready. A single woman is more often sizing you up to see if she's interested, if she's feeling not at her best and IS interested, she could be cold because she doesn't want you noticing how bad her hair looks or the mood she's in etc, if she's feeling confident and NOT interested she could be cold because she wants you out of her face.
  • I think it depends on the person really. I think a women can be bitchy either way if shes married or single. The married women could be unhappy in her relationship, as the single women could be a bitch because she's either doesn't want to be hit on, or she has been hurt by guys and doesn't want to bothered at the time. On the flip side, a single women could be happy with being single and loves to be approched by anyone. For the married women, she could of actually found a nice husband and is happy in her marriage, ( or she never see's her husband and is rich and has all the time in the world). So really it depends on who u approch and what their situation is.
  • I am a single women in her thirties and I feel single women are friendlier than married. Married women are so smug about the fact they they are married and condesending to single women. As if they did something right by snagging a man and something is wrong with us that havent. Please if you are married and are reading this - be kinder to us single women - we just havent found the right guy yet. Ans who knows - you should thnak us - you may be married to an ex that we brokeup with.
  • I am a single woman in her thirties and I can assure you that the bitchiest women I know are the married ones.Ofcourse there are bitchy singles too but bitchiness to me seems like the forte of the married.The comment about them being patronising and condescending is soo true.There is this married woman I work with who is pregnant whom we are of the same age.She centers her conversations with me on when am planning to get married or atleast pregnant.And she doesnt put it in a nice way like she's doing it coz she wants me to be happy,she does it to prove that her way of life marriage and kids is the only way to go and those who dont toe the line will suffer sooner or later.Btw her marriage is not happy,her husband is away from her most of the time and doesnt support the family financially so basically she is like a single in the sense that the husband is rarely home and that she supports her family alone.To me this looks like a mess I'd never want to be caught up in but to her she is much better than I am, no matter how bad it gets in her married mess.Anything is better than being single-so she looks at me as someone to pity no matter how good I have it-because well Im single.How can I possibly be happy even if everything else in my life is going great. At the gym I go to I find married women are the least courteous and most gossipy.They treat younger more attractive women with contempt probably coz they are jeolous.Let me just say that many are trapped in unhappy marriages and dont have the guts to get out and start over so they hate on those who are making better choices for their quality of life such as singles who dont settle for less than what they really want in relationships or walk away when relationships arent working instead of sacrificing themselves just so they wont be alone. About the security comment this is a weak argument because if you are married to an abusive man,an addict how much security can you claim to have?Marriage doesnt guarantee security.Some singles who are lving life on their own terms and in control of their lives have more security than married women who are completely financially or emotionally dependent on their husbands and feel even more insecure if they have kids because its harder for them to leave and they are in constant fear of what would happen to their kids should their partner leave or beat them to death. To understand why singles feel vulnerable and may be defensive let me tell you something that happened to me.I was at the supermarket buying a trashcan I couldnt make up my mind about the size so I asked for the salesman recommendation.He asked me if I have a family and I said I was single. The guy was pretty resonable until I said that I was single then he got this predatory look in his eyes and he moved closer to me.Then he told me that he is also single and that now that we are both single wouldnt it be nice if we got to know each other? At this point I told him I was single by choice and therefore being single didnt necessarily mean that I was searching and so willing to hook up with any single person I came across.He scoffed at the possibility of any woman being single by choice and continued to get in my space and follow me closely around the store.At the end of it I felt so harassed and violated that I vowed never to tell men I had no interest in that I was single.Infact nowadays when people assume Im a mother or a wife I just let them because the harassment that comes after they know you are single is not a good experience.Btw this is both men and women who harass.The women expect you to explain why exactly you are still single and want to make you feel like you are going to die if you dont get married like every other 'normal' person.People are abusive to single women just because of their marital status.If you are friendly its coz you are desperately looking for a husband or a lay.No one likes to be misunderstood and to have perjorative labels slapped on them just because they are not married.
  • i think its b/c married women or women in long-term relationships release this body chemical called oxytocin, sometimes known as the "cuddle hormone". it just attracts other people to them. and single women don't have much of that b/c they aren't intimate with a certain someone. i know it sounds weird but i think its true. me for example...i'm single and my sister is in a serious relationship and she gets hit on and approached very often and i don't. i may be a little distant toward strangers but i'm not cold to anyone.
  • I don't know about that! Where I'm from, it's the hot and sexy women married or single that are cold and distant while the below average, fugly and busted women are more friendly and approachable.
  • Single woman get hit on by most males that breathe, married or not, and get tired of it. If a woman is wearing a ring, they are usually treated much better by most men.
  • A women who is cold is single...A women who is warm is taken...
  • I haven't noticed a pattern. In the cases you're basing this on the married women may be more tolerant because they're more mature and therefore more inclined to respond in a mannerly fashion.
  • single women get frustrated with men approaching them for sex alllllllllllll the time. When I was single, I could hardly put gas in my truck w/o some guy making a remark or trying to initiate casuel sex. Combine with the fact that most seldomly recieve any male interest in anything MORE than sex.....its very upsetting. I really losened up since I got married becasue the remarks have wayyyyy toned down (but I still get invitations for casuel sex at least 3 times per month) That still pisses me off, but I can handle 3 times a month easier than 3 times a day.
  • I think you refer to their behavior toward men. Single women are more cold and distant toward men because they want to play hard to get so people wouldn't think they are easy, whereas married women are more comfortable with men because they are married and no longer available to other men. +5
  • what evidence do you have to support this?
  • it's you. married women don't have to worry you'll hit on them because they can just hold up their ring finger and say, "sorry, married" while single women aren't so lucky.
  • Probably because a married woman is more content and does not worry about the drama. She isn't having to act cold and snooty to get attention. Game playing is for kids anyway. Most married women are mature enough to not play games.
  • Because more than ever, women choose their poles and approaches to life unashamedly. They either choose to be softer and more accessible to men, and accepting of their relationships with men and have their hearts open... ... OR they follow the hardened philosophies of feminism, and the dead path of singularity and career for their own reasons, etc., and, thus, have cold hearts towards humans.
  • Maybe the single women are accustomed to fending off unwanted advances, so they are more on their guard.
  • Now thats an easy one!!! Single women are getting some action every day, OK? Were women, all we have to do is snap our fingers. Married women have been with the same man, and that makes other men much more appealing. You can talk to them and when they talk back, instead of whatever their talking about, you can think about whatever you want to think about them, if you catch my drift. Single women get to actually just hit it and quit it, plus they get to be picky!
  • i guess because married woman are happy that they're married and single women aren't happy that they're married and take it on people
  • Married women are used to actual love. And likely have kids, which means that heightened maternal instinct. Single women are more independent and distant from the guys so they want them more. Also, a lot of them are jaded and have baggage. And I am not talking just vera bradley. :)
  • I don't believe that's neccessarily true... But I can tell you one thing. Some of us single women carry with us some pretty nasty pasts. True sometimes we like to play "hard to get" but sometimes thats simply not the case. Sometimes there's a deeper meaning to our coldness...
  • The women who are freindly and approachable are the ones who attract men and get married, while the women who are cold and distant repulse men and do not get married.

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