ANSWERS: 16
  • Fast Woman: you must have been reading off AOL, that has an article about a recent book, called "Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage by Jenny Block." I believe that it is time to think about open marriages, because 50% of marriages end in divorce, and it's just about impossible to live with the same man (or woman) for forty or fifty years. The answer is having other relationships. Men with mistresses and women with lovers would make life much less boring and and probably keep many marriages and more important families together. There is much more to marriage than sex, and the same goes for lovers and friends. We need relationships, some of them sexual, others platonic.
  • I have never been married but led a very long life filled with friends, and lovers, and I know that I could never have kept a marriage together. People need change, variety, different opinions, new ideas. Without other relationships marriage can be stultifying.
  • Open marriages would be more natural for humans than monogamous pairings, I think.
  • Maybe I don't WANT an open marriage.
  • Because it wouldn't be a real marriage....Why not...don't get married if you can't handle being faithful?
  • It isn't just our society; it's all over the world, and there is a reason for it. The success of a household is ideally reached when there are male and female nurturing figurheads (I cannot include gay unions yet, only because there isn't sufficient data that I am aware of. If it isn't damaging to the children, I'm all for it). In general, one is the caretaker, the other is the provider. Nature designed us specifically like that so that children would have a better chance at surviving to adulthood to propagate the species. Open marriage probably does work for some, and that's okay. If both agree, I don't have a problem with it. I DO have a problem with it if it causes any kind of damage to any member of that household, period. But I have to add, it isn't for me. I prefer the bonds of matrimony. To both my husband and myself, those bonds are indeed sacred. +5
  • Marriage is good for the family, the extended family, economic reasons, companionship. Fidelity is not necessary. Life is enriched when spouses have other relationships. And I mean real relationships, not just sex. In fact, sometimes sex is not necessary--but the other relationships are.
  • Why the extra headache?
  • I dont know much about open marriages, I think I may have one to some degree. I would look into the swingers lifestyle if you are wanting to have more. Both parties have to be involved and ok with things 100%. Me and my husband have been doing it for 7 years and we have staid very close the whole time. So close that I am sad that there are so many couples that cant communicate at the level that me and my hubby can. I am not saying that swinging made us that way. I just believe that more people would stay married longer if they would just learn to talk about things. Many let them fester and eventually it becomes to big to contain
  • I don't want to share my man with anyone and I don't want to be with anyone else.
  • An open marriage is a personal choice made by both partners in a marriage. If that's what you and yours want...then have at it. But I think you'll find that most of those marriages will end badly as well. My personal opinion is that if you want to go around banging anybody you wish, then don't get married in the first place. Such a commitment is beyond you.
  • Legally, all marriages are open. Many couples do not avail themselves of openness because they prefer the security of exclusivity. And many couples, being human, simply could not handle it.
  • if you arent going to at least TRY to honor your partner, why get married? We are allowed to just shack up these days. No reason to pretend the relationship means more than it does.
  • People must stick to their promises. It would be a better world for it. Norman
  • I'm going to say something very UNhelpful. I'll bet that most of you who desire "open" marriage would throw the book at someone who considered your ownership of...say... your car, to be an open, fluid concept- taking it for a spin, even when you may need or want it because they're bored with their own wheels. You'd be mighty PO'd, ESPECIALLY if they had the nerve to leave the keys to their own "boring" wheels where you parked your car. Oh right, we're talking about the most honorable pact that two human beings can make. How in the devil's name will swapping for a more exciting model, even if it's just for dinner and a movie, ever help you to face your own demons (yeah, the ones your real spouse knows about) if you can fool someone else' spouse for a few hours? Sooner or later, one of the two will be the odd man (or woman) out. So where did they leave the keys for that clunker?
  • Here's something from the Paris Review, Summer 2009. #107: Gay Talese on infidelity. "Here's what people don't get. Sex is not that important. It isn't the most important thing in any relationship. Marriage is never about sex, and yet in American fiction so many stories and novels present a sexual dalliance ans an unpardonable sin. (In real life) I never thought that should be true. Marriage is the main event. These other relationships bring me into worlds I would otherwise not know. These relationships have helped our marriage. ..I think of all these people who get divorced over minor matters...I don't see how people can live in conventional marriages. " Gay Talese has a fifty year marriage with a very accomplished,independent and fiscally successful wife.

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