ANSWERS: 100
  • No. Technically he is not my ex yet, either. I will never hate him; I am just very hurt by a lot of things he did to me.
  • I never married. But I have had some long-term relationships living together. When we parted it was either my not wanting to have children or their lack of financial responsibility. Can't say I dislike any of them still. Just feel a kind of sadness.
  • Yes, I do. I guess I hate him because of everything that has happened since we separated. I never wanted to hate him, and I work on not hating him. My goal is to have him be absolutely nothing to me. I don't want his name to produce any reaction in me at all, just as if I were hearing the name of a total stranger.
  • yes for sure.In life no ex should be used i can say
  • I could never hate the one i once loved enough to marry.
  • I dont hate my ex husband. He is one of the biggest A**HOLES I have ever met but he did help me produce the most beautiful child in the world (I may be a tad biased). Hate is a strong word and I try not to say that I hate anyone.
  • No I don't hate him even though he has put me through hell and he is a big jerk. I actually still care about him and I know that's wrong since I've moved on, but he was my firts love and I'll always care about him you know like a friendship care not an in love care. SOmetimes I wish I could hate him so I wouldn't think about him though even though that's mean.
  • No, I just feel sorry for him. Since we got our divorce, he has had 2 other failed marriages. Guess he needs to do some self exploration!
  • Honestly, sometimes I do. I wish I had a different answer than that, like "Hate is too strong a word", but under my personal circumstances, the word 'hate' is not strong enough sometimes. I have one more year to go, then I will let it all go and practice feeling nothing for him at all...
  • I agree with Momma Bear, hate is an awfully strong word. Plus, what good is it really going to do me to harbor feelings of hate? None whatsoever. His name makes me cringe and I don't particularly LIKE him, but it's over, I took the alimony and ran (laughing maniacally all the way). The end.
  • no but he doesn't make it easy sometimes.
  • No, I do not hate my ex's. In fact I am still very good friends with both of them. I like it like that And the second remarried and her husband and I are best friends.
  • No, I honestly seldom think of him. We have both moved on and realize our marriage was a mistake made by two immature, young people.
  • Things didn't work for us, we went our separate ways, but no, I do not hate my ex-husband.
  • yes I do hate my ex-husband. He was the most abusive, vile, self centered person I have ever known.
  • I don't hate him, but he's not my favorite person in the world, that's for sure. I do get along with him though for the sake of my son.
  • Oooooh yeah! That man was the scum of the earth. Too bad he dropped dead of a heart attack 6 years ago. I went to the funeral just to make sure it was true. So long shithead - he threatened me for so long, and I'm still standing!!
  • I hate my exhusband because when I left him he was dealing drugs, having an affair,(girlfriend was pregnant when we got a divorcee) and physically & emotionally abusive. Then he ends up with the kids and tells me that my rights have been terminated and now the state wants me to send them a check for $10,000 in child support.
  • Yes, I hate my exhusband and his new girlfriend. He cheated on me with her while he was still married to me. He took my kid from me and made false accusations to CSB to get back at me for leaving him. He also kept some very sentamental and family heirlooms from me. And they have told some horrible lies to my son so that he thinks I don't love him or want him around and that I'm not his real mommy, she is. When I called to tell him my fiancee had died he was actually happy. And it brought him even more joy to keep my son from the funeral and wake. He said it wasn't my visatation time and that my son already had plans that couldn't be changed just because Jay had died. They then told him that Jay was mean to him and that he was happy he was gone. And there are even more stories that are just as bad.
  • No, and the lack of hate in my system is doing wonders for my complexion.
  • I wouldn,t say I hate my ex but I feel alot of contempt for him as he tried his best to turn our 2 kids against me. For a while he succeeded but the tables have turned now so if anything I feel sorry for him.
  • No, in fact we are quite good friends now, and enjoy planning surprises for our children and grandchildren together. We also discuss things like the true causes of the Great Depression and commiserate over odd family members. I named his two dogs and picked out the tile for his swimming pool. Just like good friends.
  • Nope, he was immature, and I got tired of having to deal with home, kids, work and his partying. I gave it 13 yrs, and moved on. We have always gotten along, when he came to see the kids (from FL to KS) he always stayed here. He is in town now, because his father passed away, and today is his birthday. My current husband and I are going to go out to dinner with him and our kids for his birthday.
  • No, not anymore, I got over the hate after I fed him dish soap in his mash potatoes. Did that for 6 months, No it didn't kill.Lets just say he spent alot of time in the bathroom!You can't see your lover if your on the john!
  • No. We get along fine. We both remarried and are happier than ever. Besides we have a son and keeping a good relationship is a positive environment for him.
  • No. And I think those who say they do are actually just hurt. This is the person who you shared most of your "firsts" in life. You usually grow up together as young adults. That's why it's so hard to get over divorces sometimes. You can't look past the shared experiences. You focus on the good and forget the bad. Even when you say you hate them it's usually because you're remembering the good things and having regret that it's over.
  • Hate, no...dislike yes!
  • No, I still love my ex husband. He and I are still friends and get together for dinner and usually a drive or a walk on the beach anytime I'm in San Diego. He's a nice guy (straight ladies!!!!)smart, reasonably sensitive, educated, was a good ummm...lover, financially has his act together!!! But has never remarried although he would like a relationship. (one G/F died of cancer that he had cared about...sad huh?) My ex Female partner...well that's another story; but I've practiced NOT hating her, although she might have deserved it. I do kinda hate how she treated me, but I have to own I allowed it for a good number of years...so that's on me I'm afraid! Mostly, I feel sorry for her and very, very thankful that I got away when I did...I'd be dead otherwise by now. Hating her would only make me ill eventually...so why bother with that much negative energy...to much to rejoice over for that!
  • I did at first, he cheated on me when I was preg. & then after I forgave him for that he and my so-called "best friend" were caught being more than friends at his bday party. However, no one told me for a yr. so they both got away w/ it for a year after that. But we have a child and it(divorce)is much easier on her(our child) and everyone else to forgive (not forget)& continue on.We've been divorced for 3yrs & we get along great now (usually). We were best friends before we married and now we are friends again. It's much easier to be able to discuss issues concerning our child, money, or anything really if you can be friends.Both parties are more willing to help out the other.
  • yes. she took my sons just for spite. they didn't want to go.
  • I am not divorced but I have to say I read all of these. Not sure why I even clicked in to this question but I am glad I did. Amazing reading. Alot of pain, some humor, some interesting perspectives. I gave more points on this Q than any other I remember. I feel for all of you than went through such hell, and for those at the risk of divorce remember the dish soap thing, too cool.
  • Yes, he cheated on me for 25 years and now divorced and left for a 25 year old. He is 47. I did not know any of this until recently. he has never admitted any adultery and expects me to be nice to him. He has no clue how cruel he has been to me and to our 16 and 13 year old. I hate how I feel now about love and relationships thanks to a lying, cheating man.
  • No, life goes on and I don't think about her.
  • I can't really hate my ex-husband because I would be hating myself as well, we're both human. I'm disappointed in how I was treated but I know that I played my part in tolerating his behavior and not getting to know him well enough before marrying him. I've learned to forgive him by having a good life and making a better choice in who I commit to if I did get married again. :)
  • The problem is that at one time we chose our partner and made a commitment to live together. Then we became disenchanted with the partner, or the partner left us. So now we are faced with the reality that we made a bad choice. We made a mistake. In an effort to avoid acknowledging our own poor choice of partner we tend to blame the partner. But it is our own choice that we are really blaming. So to hate your ex is to really hate yourself, to hate yourself for having made the poor choice.
  • I hate hims so much I am trying so hard not to hate him but it is hard he hurt me so bad. We have a child together and he still tries to hurt me. He does not work with me. I hate him. but to day June 23rd at 6pm. I made a promise to myself not to feel this way again. I am going to be strong. I just have this anger and I don't have any where to put it. I feel like life is not fair. I had to hurt so much. He did not treat me fair.
  • No, to hate someone takes way to much energy..I have a healthy sense of indifference.
  • Coz Shes a two-timing scum sucking double dealing worm eating cow smelling dung munching sewer breathed butt licking whore of babylon... Shall I continue.... lol ;-)
  • No !! I don't hate her. We were both just way too young . End of story .
  • What is the point?? I moved on. He didn't. He wanted out, but I am the one who actually improved in situation. SO, I thank him. Poor guy. I really hope marriage #5 works. (I was Marriage #1)
  • Hate is probably too strong a word. I dislike the way he treats our children. He has always drawn them in the middle of mine and his disagreements and I hate that. He made my kids feel like they needed to choose him over me. Which is funny to me in a way because it has only backfired on him.
  • No, I have learned over time how to forgive him.
  • Not hate, just indifferant, and cold, any emotional nerve endings I had have long since died.
  • It's not that I 'hate' him, it's just the amount of anger that has formed and for some reason I just can't let it go quite yet. He left his son, came in and out of his life for a few months (as long as I was willing to make it effortless....Then he disappears again, the next thing I know he's married and wanting to share custody. Funny, I haven't heard from him in almost 2 months. But when he does show again, he'll threaten to take my son, and then whine and get everyone mad at me aout not seeing him, then he'll disappear. It a never ending thing with that guy. He is always finding way to screw me over.
  • No, I don't. We are on friendly terms. We both realize that we made a mistake in getting married. If truth be told, I believe we're lucky that he doesn't hate me for 'running away' and hiding like I did; or that I don't hate him for his behavior that led me to want an 'escape'. It was really stupid & immature of us to marry knowing that I wasn't in love with him. But we don't regret it now -we're grateful for the wonderful children that we have together.
  • No - I just can't stand the sight of my ex-husband I may be hurt and angry though I just can't be a hater even though he was both mentally and physically abusive to me, I'm just glad I got out of that marriage.
  • No. We still have children. All past good memories are still good.
  • Yes I hate my ex-wife. My life has been very said after my wife left me . I gave her everything I had and it wasnt enough.Once she left she remarried very fast to someone that lives out of state and took my daughter with her ,I faught her through the legal system for a year and half and lost .It seems fathers do not have the rights mothers do. I dont want to hate her ,but with all my heart I do. it takes up a lot of time to hate someone that much. I would like to move on with my life, I am having a hard time letting go of 9 years being with the same person.
  • No I don't hate my Soon-To-B-X... but I hate the things he has done/is doing. I am very disappointed at who he is as a man and father, which is, of course, all my fault. I even bought into my loving husband's explanations of why this is all on me. Honestly I have not been the best wife and not entirely the mother I want to be however it was his choice to stick around. It was his choice to get a girlfriend. Yes we have discussed divorce since November however in the last 9 months we have not so much as filed. We still live in the same house, sleep in the same bed... terribly sorry I was confused and thought he was still thinking about reconciling when every day he was calling her, staying at work late... I guess I should thank his ex-girlfriend who started e-mailing again because without her I never would have started digging. And that ex-gf was from 5 years ago... we've been married for 13 years. And he has the nerve to have our kids DNA tested?? HA! What a surprise, he's the father! No, I may not have 'I hate him' issues but *possibly* a little bit of bitterness. Just a little. Oh, the things we do to each other as human beings. Thanks for listening.
  • No. What's there to hate?
  • No- As much as i try to believe that ill find someone better, i havent. As much as i try to blame her, i always end up blaming myself. As much as i try to forget about her, i still dream about her, and i wake up in tears. Through the divorce, and after, she has been very considerate of my emotions. She never spited me, never hated me. She was very concerned with how i would take it, and did everything she could to make the whole thing easy on me. Whether she was sincere or if that was her way of manipulating the situation, she was good...the best i think. 2 years since she left me and i still cant get over her. She wont talk to me anymore, but i think i tried too hard; at least she never gave me a "cease and desist" so, i guess the short answer is, becaues it was a total one-sided divorce...
  • N0; why should I? Two people can be incompatible and noy be bad people.
  • No. I can't hate him. We shared 20 years and two terrific kids. We grew up together, marrying at 18 and 21. We simply were not a good couple after awhile. I was tired of being unhappy and made the choice to stop hurting. It was a good choice, but I can't hate someone that I loved. Some part of me still loves him. I am just not "in love" with him any more.
  • No..just disappointed..disappointed that she was not willing to work through some things or even communicate enough to try to resolve them. She went with the cop out that she just didn't love me anymore (after 22 years..17 married). So much for "till death do us part":(
  • NO! I dislike his mother interfering too much that's why we are no longer. I still love him though
  • Yes!!!! We were high school sweethearts and got married in our early twenties. My Type 1 diabetes took a toll on my health and my ex started cheating on me. Nice guy. He is a toxic coward and a sad, short,and pathetic human. I trusted and loved him completely. He read from the same script all cheaters do to validate their adultery, the "It is all YOUR fault because...fill in the blanks." And the sad thing is that he just never gets it. He is still obnoxious and pretentious and so filled with a false sense of ego that it is unbelievable. Well, maybe I don't hate him with untold magnitude. He is just pitiful. I now have a devoted husband who is a real man and who takes marriage vows seriously, not like an immature imbecile. I wish I had the oppurtonity to tell him what a jerk hes was/is but at the time I just wanted him back. The idea for moving on is to pick yourself up, and get MAD! Get mad at the idiot who is blaming you for mad up things. Get mad at the cheater whotook the coward's way out. I'm worth more than being a wronged women. Now I have more "Money" than my ex!!
  • No, I don't hate my ex husband and never have. Not even when he admitted having the affair. We were married for 15 years and produced 3 children together. We had been together for 19 years...through high school (high school sweethearts). We grew up together. When we realized it was over we sat down and had a long talk. We decided that husbands and wives are cheap...mommies and daddies are much harder to come by AS WELL AS FRIENDS! So we vowed to never let anything come between us and our dedication to being a family with our children. We spend holidays together as a family, school functions together as a family, FAMILY functions on both sides (his and mine) as a family and when we both found others to share our lives with, that person came along too. Of course his new "other" was the woman he cheated on me with which made it much harder for me to be "mature" but for the sake of our children I focused on them and not myself and managed to survive it. The way we saw it was just because your children grow up and move on doesn't mean you are no longer going to be a part of their lives or the lives of their children so it REALLY would be best if YOU grew up and acted mature instead of expecting your children to have to make choices in their lives they shouldn't have to make. My children, all grown now, are very well-adjusted, very secure in their relationships with both of us, and never for one second worry that spending time with one or the other will upset or anger the other parent. My ex and I have been exes for 11 years now and talk nearly every day on the phone. We are the best of friends now as much as we were before we ever married. My husband and I actually spend a lot of time with my ex and his wife. My "husbands" (hee hee) will sit and talk about all kinds of stuff for hours. I wouldn't call them "friends" but they do get along nicely and I'm happy with that! My ex and I always tell people that divorces don't HAVE to be bad and being parents to the children you created should remain a joint effort no matter whether you are living under 1 roof or 2. It takes a great deal of maturity and sacrafice but it is worth it in the long-run...it's for your children's mental and emotional well being and we should all be willing to put that first, shouldn't we? The first step is getting your priorities straight. As much as you want to stangle the other person the #1 thing to focus on are any children you had together because bottom line is...they did NOT ask to be here. The next thing is forgiving them and you. After you've done those 2 things, everything else will fall into place.
  • No, I don't hate my ex-husband. We disagree on too many fundamental issues to be married to each other, but I still like him and think he's a decent person.
  • Yes... I have my reasons. :)
  • No, I get angry with the way he treats my daughter but there's a thin line between love & hate, if anything I pity him for not being involved in his daughters life. For some reason though, he wishes me dead all the time
  • No.......but I'm beginning to hate my ex future wife.
  • No, I don't think I could really hate someone I loved so much but I do pity him
  • No. At the time I was devastated. In hindsite, her leaving me was one of the best things that's happened to me. She taught me how dependent I was on her. My self esteem no longer depends on things or people (outside influences). I know now that happiness is a DECISION, not something someone gives you. She taught me the only thing I have that can never be taken is my peace of mind.
  • Yes, I do. I know it sounds bad and I "shouldn't," but I do. He verbally abused me and made me feel like I was nothing. He ruined my life. My friends I use to have he made me give up and think that they didn't care, when they did. They were against us being together; but he made me think they didn't want me to be happy. Well guess what, I wasn't. Because of him I can't trust anyone and I don't want to get married ever again. He messed up everything in my life. I realize I allowed him to do this, but the way he disguised all of this as love and just everything else he's done (cheating, name calling, etc) I hate him. I don't even hate the person that raped me, but I hate my ex.
  • No, I could never hate him. I sometimes wish I could.
  • Hate?...no...wish them nothing but ill-will, yes...lol
  • I dont hate him. I pity him because he was so insecure, he had to treat me the way he dis, and because he doesnt have me in his life anymore.
  • No, I care about him and wish him happiness. Just because we didn't work out doesn't make him the bad guy. Of course, we've been divorced for 8 years and time has a way of smoothing the sharp edges!
  • Wow, you all amaze me! I hate my husband, all the lies,how much self esteem I lost when he had an affair, hate him for finding a whore thats married whith kids also, braking up 2 families,hate him for shitting on 28 years of marriage,hate that he cleared out our joint bank accts. ,hate that I still love him,hate how he hurt the kids,i admit it,I hate him!! Do i get points for honesty? please?
  • Yes, because he is an ass!
  • Yes, because he is an ass!
  • Yes, because he is an ass!
  • yes i hate him. he raped and abused me, hit my kids threatened to kill my dog, stole my car and chipped away at me until i was an empty shell.
  • No, I don't hate my ex-husband but I didn't like his actions towards me in the past. Now that we're divorced he's being all nice to me and wants to be my friend. My ex-husband betrayed me so it's very hard for me to trust him again.
  • yes i do. she left me and took my beautiful daughter 200 miles away because she didn't love me anymore. she'd visit her friends near me without telling me she was down with my daughter. for 4 years she'd use me for sex ringing me up late in the day telling me she missed me then throwing me out in the early hours. i haven't seen my daughter for 2 years because she says she dosen't want her to be exposed to her unstable father (so sorry for crying when i said goodbye). i haven't even got a photo. this women stamped on me. not all mothers are the best parent. she means nothing to me now.
  • My husband's ex-wife CG of NJ, lies to Court Agencies, Division of Youth and Family Services (DYFS) and the Police Department because she is still mad at him for leaving her over 5 years ago. He left her because she was physically and emotionally abusive to him. Her lies are always directly associated with their daughter, where she claims physical, emotional, psychological abuse as well as inappropriate environment for her daughter. She constantly drags him into court and continues to involve not just him but me and the rest of my family into her lies. She makes every attempt to utilize the court system, DYFS and the police to alienate their daughter from my husband and our family. All her claims of abuse (at least 7)have been unfounded. She despises that her daughter has a loving relationship with her father and that she enjoys her time when she is here with us. So much so that she badgers the little girl with questions regarding her visits with us then turns her daughter's answers into lies that she uses as a case against us with the agencies mentioned above. I truly believe that this woman needs psychiatric treatment and that the source of her issues lie in her childhood. It is my understanding that her mother was a very angry woman. This may be a start to identifying where her anger comes from. Per chance she is angry with her father for reasons related to her mother's unhappiness and she is taking it out on her ex-husband. Or maybe she is also angry with her mother for not protecting from her father or some other male model in her family. This woman seems to have not an empathetic sense in her body or a slight understanding of the impact she is having on her daughter, which leads me to believe that she had negative childhood experiences that has caused her to be angry for what seems to be forever. Experts will validate that negative childhood experiences can destroy brain cells, which in turn can lead to the lack of human emotions and social skills necessary for positive relationships. This same condition can lead to psychopathic behavior as demonstrated by my husband's ex-wife. And while we have not been physically harmed, we are concerned that because she continues to receive the support from the court systems, DYFS and the police, that she will eventually attempt to hurt us physically.
  • No I don't hate my ex and most people are surprised by that. Right after we were married he changed and became very abusive physically, mentally, verbaly etc. I finally got out of the marriage and have made a great life for myself. Hate takes up energy and I needed that energy for myself so I could leave the past behind and move forward into the future.
  • yes, i do. I hate him because he screwed my son and I financially, BIG TIME..HID MONEY.I trusted he would do the right thing. He has a new wife and baby, and gives the new family everything and our son--whose 15 now ,nothing. It's been 10 yrs and i cant get past how most men provide for their kids and edx, and mine gives little child support although hes wealthy. HOW CAN I LEARN TO LET GO?
  • With every inch of my soul. It's not for what he did during our marriage it was what he did afterwards. He told me to my face that what he did to me was my punishment for leaving him. Leaving a man who did not hold a job, would not help around the house and cried to his mom when I complained. After we divorced he decided to stop being a father to my daughter (who was not his, but mine from a previous relationship) She thought he was her Daddy since he raised her from birth. Telling a 5 year old I'm sorry he's not your daddy and he does not want you over anymore (well I put it in better terms to her) broke my heart. He also took me for custody of our son saying that I did not deserve him since I wasn't good enough for his daddy. Things worked out in the end on my behalf but I will never forgive him for what he did to my children. Never.
  • Me not. I have 2 ex wives and we remaind really good friends. We meet on regular basis, and even go out to have a dinner or else.
  • YES I DO WITH ALL MY HEART. HATE HIM HATE HIM THAT BIPOLAR , SEX ADDICT, CONTROLLING, YOU NAME IT. WANT'S KIDS BACK ONLY BECAUSE HE WANTS THAT CHILD SUPPORT TO BE DROP. LOOOOOOOOSEEER. ALCOHOLIC METAL RETARD. CONFUSED PSYCHO, BI-SEXUAL SUCKER. There, I feel much better. Hey, It all about honesty right!
  • Do ex-boyfriends count? Because he was insensitive, disrespectful of women and unabashedly arrogant. It's hard when someone isn't sorry for anything they do and thinks everything they do is right. The lack of humility in a partner can really incur a feeling of aversion. Its sad because all I needed was some humility from him, but I suppose other things were more important. I hope is sense of being right and superior will keep him company. But really actually there is no hate, just aversion and disappointment...but I suppose that could sometimes masquerade as that.
  • OH JEEZ LOUISE!!! You guys already know why I wish my ex dead and I'm not even going to bring that up again.
  • I have tried very hard not to hate him, but I think that the word dislike is close enough. I married the man very young,and worshipped the ground that he walked on, always doing for him, thinking of him, and not thinking of me.He was a drug addict, and in and out of trouble with the law just about all of his life.We lost a big house due to him.There were so many nights that he didnt come home, he was out either doing drugs, or cheating on me. I found out that he had been cheating on me in 1991 when I was pregnant with my daughter. I have been in and out of so many apartments, from him not keeping a job. I was the one that always kept the full time job working all of the time, paying the rent and the mortgage, and the bills. I always went to every function that our daughter had, and he, was always home drinking and getting drunk,not attending any school functions, or ever dealing with any issues regarding our child at school. This past year things progressed in the worse way. He was drinking 7 days out of 7 days a week, and was hard to deal with. he was mean, physically, mentally and verbally abusive towards me. I had no friends hardly, he ran everyone off, being crappy to them all of the time. He was ugly when he woke up in the mornings, and very mean when he laid down his head at night. He would literally stand over me when I got paid, and threaten me , after he had drank up all of his money, and tell me to give him money for ciggarettes and beer. He was horrid. Then , one day, we went up to meet with my Uncle, who is in a local motorcycle club, and went to talk to him about having someone up there work on his Harley, to get it running. Thats when I met Robert, the love of my life, and heart that I am living with at this moment. We were in his shop, and a girlfriend asked me to come over and talk to her, and he (my ex) grabbed me by the arm, and told me to sit down, and shut the fu!&% up, that I wasnt to go over and talk to that b----, and if I did he was going to put my head through a wall. Well, you dont know how many bikers in that room wanted to kill him right then and there just for the way that he treated me. That night was horrible, and he even threw food at me, and that was what broke the proverbial straw over the camels back for me. I moved in with my mom that next day,and left him ,and filed for divorce. I stayed there for several months, and began dating Robert, finding that I loved him with all my heart. He treats me so good, and treats me like the queen that I deserve to be treated as. I now live with him, and am the happiest that I have ever been. As for Martin, the devil incarnate- Robert put him in his place by telling him that if he ever talks to me, or treats me that way again, that he would take care of him.Needless to say, the ex and I do not talk any more!
  • Yes, I do. Very intently so. What can I say he bringsout the best in me. I hate how he has change my life for the worse, how he has destroyed our once happy family for me and our children (beautiful, healthy and smart) all for the sake of a whore and his lusty needs. Small things that could have been fixed butno, he decided that marriage counselling was available so that I could have closure on the ten year relationship (married five) not to try to heal or fix anything or come to an understanding. He says that he was unhappy about the sex not being regular or adventurous. (He was my first and only lover and he had had PLENTY of practice before I came along. Suggest something dammit!! Don't just continue to go along to get along b/c you THOUGHT I wouldn't go for it!!) He said I spent to much on family and friends. (Excuse me for being generous and for the first time in my life, feeling that I could let down my guard and be gentle and kind to people b/c I [thought] I had a happy home life. ) I felt warm, secure and loved and now, once again I am alone but with to small reminders of a failed partnership. They are lovely and I love them but they do remind me of what went wrong and I wonder if that wasn't meant to be then were THEY meant to be? My son, 7 hurts so much and it shows in school. My 3 year old is oblivious for the most part but gets ticked b/c she has to go over there (in the new rented, large, 4 bedrm, house with his mistress, an ex-girlfriend, mind u) b/c he calls her another name that is not her first name. He calls her that b/c he says that he never liked what I selected as a name for our daughter. He picked out our son's and I picked out our daughter's. Not done along the lines of gender solidarity but b/c I wasn't really sold on any of the names I had for a boy and vice versa. Now he's with an ex-girlfriend which I had asked before we plunged into our relationship if there was any unfinished business there (when my heart wasn't in too deep and I could afford to pull out). no was the answer and here he is picking up where they left off. I guess I had the kids he always wanted that she never wanted to have and now things are right with him, making a great salary, living with her in a huge house (a house we could never quite afford) while I work 3 jobs to make ends meet, bills & atty's fees I cannot pay and my kids share a room. YOU ARE DAMN RIGHT I'M ANGRY!! And no, I don't know what to do with it and it's not going away even AFTER 2 years of therapy. So forgive me if I do not have the mature, evolved response that feels put upon me as the "correct" attitude to adopt. I am bitter and wanted to avoid that. But I felt this was inevitable because people are too selfish to think about others for the long-run. Everything's disposable now and I was just disposed of like New Year's decorations on January 2nd. But too many bad things have happened; too many evil, malintented, devious or flippantly dismissive things have occured. It's not fair and I feel I'm too good/smart/pretty/talented -- whatever to be treated and done unto like this.
  • Nope, I remarried him after being divorced for 25 days. Hating takes too much effort.
  • I try not to hate "him" but I definitely hate the selfish choices he made that ended our marriage (infidelity), and I hate his behavior now (cold/uncaring/bossy) because we still have children to raise and I have no choice but to remain in contact with him as a result.
  • I didn't when we initially split up. We left it 7 years ago as a "hey we are two good people who aren't good together anymore" kind of thing. He was civil and reasonable for about 5 years, and then met a new woman who decided the only way she could be confident in their relationship was if he went out of his way to be evil to me...to prove to her that he was no longer emotionally tied to me. (The reason we have had to keep ties between us for this long is because of our house that won't sell, and some joint bills that he was a tad delinquent with) In the last two years he has refused to sell our house, refused to take it, refused to let me take it, and refused to pay anything for or towards it. I am also paying on loans and credit cards that he took responsibility for in the divorce because my name's on them too and he won't pay. I have gotten two small claims judgements against him, attempted to enforce them,and when I did, and his bank account got seized, he sued me for the anguish all of this caused him. I have spent $5000 in legal fees defending myself against his baseless accusations and trying to protect my right to collect on a judgement I was granted. I have worked three jobs to pay for a house that is much his as it is mine, while he expects a ticker tape parade in his honor because he manages to keep one full time job. Yes, I hate my ex husband. LOL.
  • I hate my boyfriends ex-wife and he hates her even more. I never knew there were people out there that are actually hate-able. I hate the word hate too!
  • I do not hate them at all. Just grateful to be away from them
  • I don't want her near me. I don't want any association with her. Hate? No. Anger? Yes.
  • I guess I would if I had one.
  • With a passion. Death for her is preferable because of how she divorced me.
  • I used to hate him. I hated the way he treated me and talked to me and absolutely dreaded having to deal with him in any way. Now, I mostly don't think about him. It's taken quite a few years to get to this state, but I prefer to have very few feelings for him.
  • Yes. I didn't till he married his current wife. She has self-esteem issues and sabatoged his relationships with a lot of people. One being our son. Now they have 2 children of thier own and he is non-existant in our sons life now.
  • Yes, more for how she abused our daughter than anything she did or said to me.
  • No... We're still friends (partially because she divorced me because she fell "out of love" with me, not for anything I did, partially because she raised my boys, partially because she didn't try to "take me for all I'm worth" - only what the law required, partially because she took HER bills with her when she left, partially because we were friends from the very beginning, partially because she said whenever she was asked about me, she had to go through 15 minutes of GOOD stuff, and didn't have that much, if any BAD stuff to say about me, partially... Need I go on?)
  • No. I was very hurt and angry at him for what he did to me. Cheated on me. Saw another woman behind my back for two years! I finally faced the truth, although I had suspected but didn't want to believe. I tried to hate him, but in time I realized it wasn't hate, it was anger. When the anger subsided I realized I could never ever hate him. I have since moved on but there is not a day that goes by I don't think about him. I often wish things could have turned out different.
  • No I don't. We were blessed with 2 kids and I'm going to do everything I can tyo work things out.

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