Why is it that I always expect people to be polite and am disappointed when they are not? Do we all go through the same thing or are my expectations too high?
by 
Neptune66
ANSWERS: 25
Playstation 5 News
Don't Miss It!
All the Latest Announcements
Ad
-
not sure... I find it amazing how many people are rude in their attempts to get others to be polite
-
maybe try lowering your expectations so when someone is nice then you get a plesant surprise instead. i tend to ignore them unless they make an effort.
-
You know, I go through the same in reverse - I am always pleasantly surprised when people are polite! It really makes me smile!
-
No it is not just you!! I'll say thanks to someone in public and they dont respond or acknowledge and I just wanna punch them. Or if you hold the door for someone and they dont say thank you....i could go on and on and on..........
-
It's been said that we see ourselves in others and/or we expect from others what we expect from ourselves. You apparently have a "polite temperament" that often contrasts with those around you. Your reaction sounds normal, but you might want to question the wisdom of exchanging happiness for disappointment over the (mis)behavior of others. As people are unlikely to change, continuing to allow others to affect how you feel guarantees you'll almost always be disappointed. ------------- "As A Man Thinketh" -James Allen http://jamesallen.wwwhubs.com/think.htm
-
I identify. You'd think I'd learn, but it's a shock EVERY TIME.
-
I have very low expectations so am often pleasantly surprised.
-
The more you "expect" from others, the more you set yourself up for disappointment. Not everyone values the same things...not everyone is raised in a home where manners, respect and being polite is considered important and therefore worthy of being taught. Your best bet is to be who you are and accept people as they are..sometimes you will be greatly surprised and delighted and maybe even overwhelmed by their kindness..othertimes, not so much. Happy Monday to you! :)
-
I had the same problem. Now I just expect nothing from people. That way, I am never disappointed, but often pleasantly surprised.
-
Yes, your expectations are too high. Expect nothing. You'll be surprised how often you'll get it! =P Think how much crap you have to put up with, just because you put in the effort to be polite. No wonder no-one else bothers! Half the population interpret politeness as weakness and face it - no matter how tough you think you are, constant punches in the face do tend to hurt after a while. So never mind the crap about how "manly" it is to be polite, bottom line is that it achieves nothing (apart from the occasional person saying how they admire you because you're so polite - well that's all well and good but in the heat of battle we could really use a bullet-proof vest and a couple of atom bombs, not a few kind words two years later). So the real question is, what weapons ARE at our disposal when we foolishly decide to be polite??? I think I'll make this a question so I can give points to anyone who gives good answers.
-
politeness should always be there by everyone. it's not hard.
-
It's too bad that people cannot be civil towards one another. I feel your pain. People look at politeness as weakness. If you are too polite they think you are a pushover. Perhaps your expectations are too high for others. Just be yourself and continue to be polite. DOnt worry about what others are thinking or doing. Lets face it, people are nuts. The older you get the more you realize this.
-
You're expectations are way too high. One of the first rules of surviving in America is, when in Rome do as the Romans. If you're polite and nice, they'll see that as a sign of weakness and they'll walk all over you
-
Most all of the people that I meet are polite. I don't think your expectations are too high. The question prompted me to think: Why have I let someone's lack of politeness disappoint me or upset me? What is going on with the person? Have they been treated cruel or have they been hurt? And, so on and so forth.
-
It's not too high but correct... Just don't give up or change your self... Also, get used to.
-
Because you somewhat live in a dream world full of fairy tales. You have to wake up and see reality. You see the world filled with masks with the frozen smile but what is underneath the mask? The beast?
-
my expectations are exactly the same, and I feel the same way as you do when its not met ! :)
-
This makes me think of how "Customer Service or the customer is always right" just doesnt exist any more.
-
I often find myself feeling that way. It just makes more sense to me to be polite and respectful, especially since I've learned throughout the years that it is the best way to motivate others or just to understand people. But many people seem to like to do things the hard way:-(
-
I am also the same. but the thing is i expect it because i treat them and act the way i want them too. I dont have the least bit of a speculation that your standards are probably also lower than how you yourself act
-
You expect it probably because that is how you treat others. There is no rightful excuse for not being polite, so no, I don't think it is setting your expectations too high. I try to treat others the way I want to be treated and that is frequently better than they treat me in return. I even apologize promptly when I slip up. But regardless of how others treat me, at least I can walk around with my chin up and smile.
-
Depending on the Ego level we all pass through such situation. Try to learn not to expect in return when you were polite to others.
-
I wouldn't concern yourself with politeness. It's really not that important. Honesty is.
-
Nice guys finish last and most people see kindness as a weakness.
-
My standards are very very low. I am rarely disappointed.
RELATED QUESTIONS
Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC