ANSWERS: 100
  • Try these: http://www.thejokeyard.com/your_momma_jokes/joke_04027.html http://members.tripod.com/your_muma_jokes/yourmummassojokes/id1.html
  • Yo mama so fat she got her own zip code - SHe de only person that can be seen from the space shuttle - when she back up she beeps - if she had to haul ass she would have to make four trips - HA HA HA!
  • Your maama's so fat, I roll over twice and I'm still on the B*tch! mean, but a good one
  • Yo mamma so fat, you don't walk around her, you orbit! (just made it up)
  • Yo mamma's so fat, she has to put her lipstick on with a paint roller. Yo mamma's so fat, you have to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side. I can't realy take credit for these, thank Garrison Keilor.
  • Yo mamma is so poor when we asked what's for dinner she said corn and put her foot on the table.
  • Yo mama so fat she jumped into the air and got stuck...yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out.
  • Yo mama is so black that she cuts herself she bleeds ink. Yo mama so fat she could sell shade. Yo mama teeth are so yellow she spits butter. Yo mama so ugly even death is afraid of her. Yo mama so fat she wore her Malcom X jacket and a helicopter landed on her back. Courtesy of my sick husband who trades Yo Mama jokes with the warehouse manager.
  • Heard a few I like equally well: Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up. Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the New World. Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell out, "Taxi!" Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!
  • Yo mamma is so fat she needs the asteroid belt to hold up her pants
  • Yo mama's so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
  • Yo mama is so fat, she fell down and then rocked herself to sleep trying to get up. Yo mama's underarms are so hairy...it looks like she has someone in a headlock.
  • Yo mama so skinny she does the hula hoop through a cheerio...I have sooo many more of these.
  • Haven't heard one...he..=)
  • Be prepared.... I got a few... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Yo Mama So Stupid She goes to shaq for free throw lessons Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. Yo mama so fat i need a cave search crew, flashlights, and a map to have sex with her Yo Moma So Poor when I rang her doorbell, SHE said 'Ding-Dong' Yo momma so stupid that she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut. Yo Mama So Stupid i found her peaking over a glass wall to see what was on the other side. yo mamma so fat, you need a to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side to get her through. yo mamma so ugly, you have to tie a steak around her neck for the dogs to play with her yo mamma house is so dirty I gotta wipe my feet before I go back outside.
  • Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!
  • Yo momma teeth so buttery that when she open her mouth her teeth light up but when she closes her mouth her belly lights up
  • I've got a few that I always use: Yo momma is so fat that when she rolled offa the bed, she rolled off BOTH sides. Yo momma is so fat that when she jumped for joy, she got stuck. Yo momma's teeth are so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter. Yo momma's so fat that when she wears a red shirt all the kids go "koolaid! koolaid!" Yo momma's so fat that when I swerved to miss her, I ran outta gas. Yo momma's so fat that when I tried to drive around her, I had to stop and ask for directions. Yo momma has so many chins that she keeps a bookmark in her mouth so she can remember where to stuff the food.
  • Yo mama's so fat, she left home wearing high heels and came back wearing flippers.
  • Yo mama so ugly, she jumped in the sea and the fish jumped out.
  • Yo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas In The Mist" in her shower
  • Yo mama so fat, to have sex with her I had to slap her thighs and ride the waves in.
  • Yo' mama got more chins than the Hong Kong phone directory.
  • Yo Mama's soooooooo fat... For Holloween she was a '57 Chevy. Yo Mama is so stupid that when you stand next to her you can hear the ocean.
  • yo mama's so fat i had to take two trains and a bus just to get on the bitch's good side. yo mama's so fat, when she go to the movies, she sits next to EVERYBODY.
  • Yo mamma so fat that you can do relay races around her for 5 hours and those five hours only took one lap. Yo mamma so fat when she took a bath and she washed her stomach flaps a hummer, escalade and 20 pounds of butter fell out. Yo mamma so short when she tried to commit suicide she jumped off the sidewalk. Yo mamma so poor when she invited you over to her house you stepped in the front door and ened up in the backyard.
  • yo mama's so ugly, she makes onions cry [from Johnny Bravo] yo mama's so fat, i made love to her and rolled over twice, and i'm still on the damn bitch [from The Nutty Professor]
  • your momma is soo old, she sat behind Jesus Christ in the 3rd grade.
  • Yo' mama remember when the rainbow came out in black and white. Yo' mama fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down! Yo' mama so poor, she cuts matches down the middle!
  • Was dat a three-car head-on, or did yo' mama just step on the scale again?
  • Yo mama so fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles came out
  • Yo Momma's so fat, when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
  • Yo momma is so short, she can bunjee jump off her shoe using a shoelace. Yo momma is so old, her breast milk is powdered. (ew lol)
  • Yo mama's so fat her blood type's Ragu.
  • yo mama is such a fat slut, i came all over her face and she looked like a glazed donut
  • yo mama so fat she lost all her tv remotes, cells and phones in her butt.
  • yo mamma's so old,she sat behind jesus in the first grade, yo mamma's glasses are so thick,that when she looks on a map she can see people waving. yo mamma's so fat when she jumped into the ocean, the whales surrounded her and sang we are family. yo mamma's so fat that when she wore yellow 'everyone thought she was the sun.
  • Yo mama so fat, she went outside with her "X" jacket on and a helicopter landed on her back.
  • Yo mama so fat, when she cuts herself, she bleeds grease!
  • If you didnt have hands you wouldnt wear gloves,right? If you didnt have a head your wouldnt wear a hat, right? THEN WHY YOU WEARING A BRA???
  • yo mama is so fat she jumped out of the boat into the ocean and a wale poped up and said "we are family even though your bigger then me"
  • The best one would be none at all.
  • Here are the ones I came up with when I was bored: Earth+your mom+a can of beans=Jupiter The integral of your mom diverges. The limit of your mom does not exist. Your mom's so fat, the food comes to her! Gravitationally! Your mom's so fat, time slows down as you get near her. Your mom's so fat, the city built a highway around her house to make use of the gravitational slingshot effect! Your mom's so fat, she's affecting the Earth's rotation! Your mom's so fat, Nasa has to keep in touch with her to find out where she is for use in their orbital calculations! They say inside every fat person there's a thin person trying to get out. But there's a whole Nigerian village trying to get out from inside your mom! Your mom's so heavy, she's on the threshold of undergoing spontaneous nuclear fusion! Your mom's so heavy, she's on the threshold of collapsing into a black hole! Your mom's so heavy, she could supply the material for all the world's AOL CDs! Your mom eats so much, the US government has classified her as a WMD! Your mom's so old, she gave birth to the dinosaurs! Your mom's so old, the dinosaurs called her 'the ancient one'! Your mom's so old, her social security number starts with a 'minus' sign! Your mom's so old, when she looks at cave paintings, it reminds her of her childhood! Your mom's so old, anthropologists follow her around. Your mom's so old, cosmologists and astronomers follow her around! Your mom's so fat, if she was a number, she'd be i8-billion-pi! Your mom is so big, Jesus prays to her!
  • Yo mammas so fat your dad had to hire a rodeo clown to distract her while he brought in the groceries.
  • Yo mamma is so old she sat behind Jesus in third grade.
  • Yo momma is so ugly, she puts her faces in cookie dough to make monster cookies. Yo momma is so ugly, she models for death threats.
  • .Yo Moma So Poor that your family ate Cornflakes with a fork to save milk. .Yo moma So Poor the building society repossed her cardboard box. Yo Momma so Smelly the government make her wear a Biohazard warning
  • Yo momma sooo fat, when she put on a pair of Guess Jeans, the ANSWER popped out........
  • the best yo mamma jokes that i heard, i heard on the show "yo mamma". you have to watch it:):) the last time i saw the show it was on channel 53.(mtv)
  • your mommas so fat when she gets in an elevator it has no choice but to go down!!!
  • yo momma so fat, she gets three miles to the gallon in a hybrid! yo momma so ugly, even tom won't be her friend on myspace!
  • Yo mama sooo fat, she put on a pair of Guess jeans, and the answer popped out......
  • Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs. Yo mama so lazy she's got a remote control just to operate her remote! Yo mama so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon. Yo mama is so ugly Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals." Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning. Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it." Yo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies
  • yo mama so fat she jumped on a rainbow and skittles popped out hahahahaha
  • Yo momma so dum it took her an hour to make minute rice. Or, yo momma so poor she had to put koolaid on layaway.
  • yo mama is so stupid she kept you rather than putting you up for adoption
  • here's a few -Yo mamma so stupid she jumped off a building cause she thought her maxi pad had wings. -Yo mamma so fat her blood type is ragu -YO mama is so fat when she goes missing she takes up all four sides of the milk carton - YO mama is so fat the last time she saw ’90210’ was on the scales -I's apologise for talkin bout Yo Mama...I should know better...hell, I don't even know the Man... -Yo mama's so fat, she got Baptized at sea world. -Yo mama's so cheap, she's on the dollar menu. -Yo mama's so ugly when I took her to the zoo they said, "Thanks for bringing' her back!" -Yo mama's so fat she has more rolls then the towns bakery -Yo mama's so stupid, I told her to take out the trash and she moved! -Yo mama's so ugly your dad takes her to work so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye -Yo mama's so old when I told her to act her age, she died. -Yo' mama's so fat, she wears two watches -- one for each time zone! -Yo mama's so fat she needs one barstool for each butt cheek -Yo mama's so dumb, that the Psychic Friends only charge her half price to read her mind! -Yo' mama so stupid, she tried to steal a free sample! -Yo mama's so fat when she steps on a scale it says, "To Be Continued..." -Yo mama's so fat when she steps on a scale it says, "One at a time please" -Yo mama's so hairy, she could be sold as a Chia pet. -Yo mama's so big, her belly button has an echo. -Yo mama's so fat, when I swerved to avoid her in the street I ran outta gas. -Yo mama's so fat, she held up her stockings with hula-hoops. -Yo mama's so stupid, I told her it was chili outside so she went outside with a spoon. -Yo mama's so stupid, she climbed up a tree talking about branch management. -Yo mama's so fat, she wore a red sweater and all of the kids pointed at her and said, "Kool-Aid Man!!!!". -Yo mama's so fat, she went outside in a yellow raincoat and people yelled taxi. -Yo mama's so fat, that she has to put her belt on with a boomerang. -Yo mama's so fat that this town really ISN'T big enough for the both of us -Yo mama's so fat, Christopher Columbus claimed her as the new world. -Yo mama's so fat, she's got more Chins than a Chinese phone book -Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like her neck threw up -Yo mama's so fat, she don't take pictures, she takes posters -Yo mama's belt size is the titled the "Equator" -Yo mama's so fat, her baby pictures were taken by satellite -Yo mama so ugly, she's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run for the border -Yo mama's so stupid, when she locked herself in the bathroom, she peed in her pants
  • yo momma is so poor she came runnin down tha street with one shoe on and i said hey you lost your shoe and she said nuh uh i just found one
  • Yo mama so fat, she walked outside in a yellow raincoat and the school kids tried to get on board. Yo mama so fat, she was standing on the corner and the cops came by an said, "Alright, ya'll gotta break it up". Yo mama so crosseyed, she started crying and tears rolled down her back. Yo mama so bowlegged, she went to jump the ditch and landed in her back pocket. Yo mama so ugly, the last time she went camping Bigfoot reported a sighting of her.
  • Yo mama so fat, she walked outside in a yellow raincoat and the school kids tried to get on board. Yo mama so fat, she was standing on the corner and the cops came by an said, "Alright, ya'll gotta break it up". Yo mama so crosseyed, she started crying and tears rolled down her back. Yo mama so bowlegged, she went to jump the ditch and landed in her back pocket. Yo mama so ugly, the last time she went camping Bigfoot reported a sighting of her.
  • your momma teeth so yellow that when she smiles people think shes givin out eurine samples
  • your moma's teeth are so yellow that when she smiles people be thinkin' shes giving eurine samples
  • Yo mama's coochie is so nasty that the contestants on fear factor wouldn't eat it.
  • yo mama is soooo ugly, that those arent her breast sagging, those are her breast running away from her face.
  • Your momma's so fat, when she went to audition for the Indiana Jones movie, she got casted as the big rolling ball.
  • *dirty joke alert* Your momma's like a Taco Bell. Open all night, cheap, and loved by Mexicans. */dirty joke*
  • Yo mama so poor, when i stepped on the ciggarette she said, who turned the heater off?
  • My all time favourite is: Yo mama so fat, that when she turns around it's her birthday again. These are just something I made up: Yo mama so fat, it takes ten marines to fold her shirt. Yo mama so fat, her t-shirt was once used as a dust cover for a Hummer. Yo mama so stupid, I found her spearing the fishes with a rod. Yo mama so big, she uses the Hubble as her glasses.
  • Your mother's so fat, that when she jumped for joy, she got stuck.
  • yo momma is so dumb she got hit by a parked car or yo momma is so stupid it takes her two days to watch 60 minutes
  • Your Mommas so fat, when she walks backwards, you hear, "beep, beep, beep"
  • I take my momma very seriously. She wears army boots - been to jail. hell she even held a pistol to my head and told me to get over the shell shock.
  • Yo Mommas so stupid, it would take her at least three promotions just to make it to idiot.
  • Yo Mommas so ugly, she made a train take a dirt road.
  • Yo Momma so fat that the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale.
  • Yo Mommas so fat, while sunbathing one person kept her wet while the other called Sea World..
  • Yo Momma has the personality of a bobby pin,its so bad,you have to tie a bone around her neck just to get the dog to play with her!
  • Yo Momma so fat that she got stuck in the Grand Canyon
  • yo mama so stupid she brung a spoon to the super bowl cuz she thought they were serving cereal
  • Your momma so ugly, when she looked out of the window, she got arrested for mooning. :D Funny.. :D Your Momma so fat, when she sat on your gamecube, it turned into a gameboy. Your momma so stupid, she sat at the table for hours staring at her orange juice because on the orange juice bottle it said "Concentrate". Your momma so stupid, she puts makeup on her head to make up her mind. (I made this one up:) Your momma so stupid, she went to Wendys (the restraunt) to go see Peter Pan.
  • yo mama so stupid she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball
  • Yo momma is so ugly when she looked in the mirror her reflexion threw-up, or yo momma is so ugly when she look in the mirror the mirror started flipping through other reflexions, or your momma is so ugly when she saw her reflexion in the river the river split in half.
  • Your mamma's so fat we're in her right now.
  • Mine is Yo Mamma's so fat she makes the universe look like a tic tac.
  • Yo mamma so stupid that when she entered a stupid contest they said,sorry,no proffesionals.
  • Personally I like the Yo momma so fat, she fell in love and broke it! just made this one up right now haha...Yo momma's so old she thought that pluto was a planet! (lol for future generations...haha)
  • Yo mamma's so fat, her blood type's Ragu.
  • The one about Yo Mamma!
  • Yo mommas teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down when she smiles! Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out! Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled, "HEY, KOOL-AID!" Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order! Yo momma so short you can see her feet on her drivers lisence! Yo Momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, and she said, "Moving."
  • Yo mamma is so fat, she beeps when she walks backwards
  • your mom's mom is your mom's mom.
  • your momma is so fat when she goes outside with a red shirt on people yell kool-aid !
  • ur momma is so fat, she fell in the grand canyon and got stuck
  • yo momas so poor when i came over and asked what was for dinner, she pull up her skirt, took a shit and said black angus. (made up that one)
  • Yo mama sucks!...but I didn't have the five dollars!
  • Yo mama is soooo ugly that when you look up the word "ugly" in the dictionary there is no definition.. just her picture.
  • Yo momma has so many corns on her feet when she steps in the tub, she makes vegetable soup
  • ya mama's so stupid, that she called me up on the phone, just to ask for my telephone number.
  • i got few bt its all out lol yo mama is so stupid that she sat on the tele and watched the couch. yo mama is like 5ft basketball court that anyone can score her. yo mama is so fat that just to get on her backside i had to roll her twice. yo mama is so old when i told her to act her age she died. yo mama is so fat that she went to the restruent, looked at the menu and said is that it?
  • your mamma's so stupid, that when she drove you to the airport, she saw a sign saying "airport left" SO she turned the car around, and went home.

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