ANSWERS: 8
  • Get out now. Young control freaks grow up to be old control freaks. It's not your job to solve this problem.
  • Does he have many of his own friends? my guess is not. (correct me if i'm wrong). He may feel left out, you get to go off with your friends or see your family and he doesn't have that so he's bizzarely jealous of this and he wants to know what you've done and where you've been. Try inviting him along, let him come and hang out with you and your friends or convince him to go do his own thing while your doing your own thing. join a gym. w/e i'm probably totally wrong here but only you'll know... let me know :D ty
  • "Hasn't Been" is right! You have to get out, NOW! Guys/Gals who do this (checking cell phones, mileage on cars, friends at work, etc.), are showing the early signs of "stalkers", or even worse. He will eventually cut you off from ALL your friends and most of your family, and that IS NOT a good thing for a healthy relationship! You may give him "ONE" more chance, but make sure there is a "drastic" change, and make sure it covers more than 2 or 3 weeks (I'd say about 3 months, or more). NO ONE has the right to tell you who your friends should be, and NO ONE has the right to get upset when you spend time with YOUR family! These relationships almost always end up bad! I feel for you, and I hope it works out to YOUR satisfaction. Good Luck!
  • I'm not a psychologist, psychiatrist, counselor or a member of the clergy. PLEASE excuse me. I don't mean to hurt you or offend you. YOU are not any one's personal property. You don't have a bf. You have an immature, self-doubting, self-centered egotistical slave driver and dominator. He wants to tell you EVERYTHING! What to do. How to do it. Where to do it. Who to do it with. When to do it. Why you should do it only with him. In all honesty, if you don't have an open and frank discussion with him very soon, you won't have anything resembling your own personal life. If it hasn't done it already, it will drain you of your self-confidence, self esteem and pride. Before having that discussion, Call, snail mail or e-mail a friend or relative to make sure you have a safe place to go to for an extended period of time. Ask that person or someone else to look into local programs for those ladies who are mentally and/or physically abused. Ask that person to inquire about a restraining order. I heard about it and saw enough of it. I wasn't mentally or physically abused, but I know of quite a few people who went through it. Thanks for asking your Q! I did my best to honmestly answer it! VTY, Ron Berue Yes, that is my real last name! Sources: Because you asked. Some personal observations and opinioons. "THE University of Hard Knocks" also known as ("a/k/a") "life's valuable lessons"
  • He is close to, if he isn't already there, to absolutely controlling you. When that happens he has you where he wants you (it sounds like), and he MAY start abusing you (again, if he isn't/hasn't already.) See the answers at the following: Signs of abuse, even early on - http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2872392 Signs of abuse, and what to do - http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/3384385
  • GET OUT NOW. This is not a healthy relationship. He suspects you are doing something behind his back. And a relationship without trust is not worth it.
  • Short of breaking all his fingers, and his kneecaps, and duct-taping him to a chair, there is nothing you can do to make him ease up. 1.Has he been like this for three years, or did it begin recently? 2.Why do you stay with him? 3.GET OUT NOW! 4.Now means NOW. Turn off he computer, grab your purse, and GO. Ron Berue is right. Set up a safe haven and GO THERE.
  • You said it yourself: he's "stressing me out." Are you going to give up your friends, your family,your privacy, your personal freedoms, and your self-esteem? Isolation is one of the techniques of an abuser. (First they charm, then they harm). I don't think he'll ease up. I think it will get worse.He has set a pattern that's already causing conflict in your relationship. One of the most common mistakes a victim makes is thinking the abuser will "change". To try to tell this guy that he is "wrong" would put him on the defensive, like it would anyone. Only with him, he could be unpredictable. If you really want to go that route, meet him in public and take someone with you. Hold your ground and tell him things HAVE to change!!! Believe me, if you allow this to continue, you will lose your "self-identity"--who you are.

Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC

Answerbag | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy