ANSWERS: 7
  • It is never a good idea to advance a relationship based on adverse circumstances. In the end, someone usually feels cornered and will push you out of the way (metaphorically) to get free. To subject your daughter to this is not only unfair to her, but it also sets a poor example of how healthy relationships develop and are maintained.
  • I personally would lay it out. If you want to move in together say it! Tell him you want to but if he''s not ready then you will start looking for a new place. Don't live your life around him. Make your own plans and show him you are independent and you don't NEED him you choose to have him in your life.
  • I think if he's talking about it, that's a good sign. I have been dating my bf for a year, and we only just started talking about it, and have set a tentative date (in another year and a bit) and figure by then we'll know for sure whether or not we have a good chance of making it together. I brought it up by saying that I would like to ultimately build a life with someone, which includes living together, and he agreed, so I asked him straight out - if we were to move in together, when do you think it would happen? Something like that. You might want to try the same.
  • Let him go. He doesn't need the baggage. I been der, done dat. Guys who get permanently involved are losers. Or they soon will be.
  • I agree with the VP who wears a wicked hat. What kind of example are you giving your daughter? What is your hurry to move in? Doesn't anyone get married anymore?
  • I know it's difficult but sometimes maintaining separate households is better for a relationship.
  • A b/f is just that, someone you are dating, which may or may not develop into something long-term. Your daughter, however, is a life-long commitment & relationship. She is your first priority. If you want or need to move, then do so. The b/f has nothing to do with that decision. If you press the issue and he's not ready, then that may end the relationship, or worse, you'll move in together and the relationship will end later, with your daughter having a front-row seat. Take him out of the equation for a second: if you need to move to better the life of you and your child, then do so. Take things slow with the b/f, you don't want to rush someone into your child's life, as you do have to think that what you do in your relationships IS setting an example for her and how she will handle them when she is grown. Children are born a blank slate, and you as the parent write on that slate for her for life. What do you want her to learn? That it is good to be independent, and still able to love, or that she should corner someone into a relationship based on her current needs, financial situation, whatever? I don't mean to sound harsh and that is not my intent. But I too am a single mom, and there are a few decisions I have made that I'd go back and change if I could. Bottom line is this: Work toward the betterment of your daughter's life and your own. If someone doesn't fit into that picture, then they weren't your best option.

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