ANSWERS: 35
  • If I loved her enough to marry her, all else would be irrelevant.
  • Yes. What do those vows say...through richer or poorer...in good times and bad....
  • Been there, done that, big mistake, would not recommend it to anyone. HUGE mistake!!!!
  • No..Love does nothing towards paying off debt.
  • No, it took me a couple of times before I learned my lesson.
  • You could do it but I would: 1)ascertain how the debt is be paid off. Bankruptcy may be necessary. 2)make sure that the marrage, subsequent debt, your assets are all segregated and that your existing assets and future earnings are not going to be subject to attack by her creditors. 3)somehow determine how you're going to live without her continuing to run up debts which could accrue to you. In short, you need to see a lawyer before you take a step towards the alter-and if she can't accept that then marrarage probably shouldn't be in the cards.
  • I wouldn't marry them until they got their 'STUFF" together.
  • Not without a plan in place to have the debt paid off. My husband and I both had debt coming into our marriage. We managed to get it paid off, but not without a really good plan and some sacrificing. It can be done, but it takes discipline. This may sound harsh, but if she is not disciplined enough to make a budget and stick to it, then it may lead to issues in your marriage. Finances are one of the biggest reasons for a divorce. Additionally, if you have drastically different views on how your money should be spent and saved, then you don't have the same values, and I think you HAVE to have the same values for marriage to work.
  • No way. Nothing ruins "love" more than stress.
  • I'd be very careful.
  • No way in hell.
  • While it may be very romantic to marry someone regardless of their financial situation, you need to take reality into consideration. This debt may affect your children for their entire lives also, if you have indeed become so in debt that their higher education is at stake. Take care of the financial situation BEFORE the marriage. Make sure progress is being made, and make sure that they are determined not to get in that situation again. Then consider marriage. If you truly think that the two of you are going to get married, it wouldn't hurt to help the person in question out a bit, but let them take care of it majorly on their own, because you ARN'T married yet.
  • Yes, I would without a second thought. Love is always more important than money.
  • Without question; real love can withstand financial problems because with true love the main thing that matters is having one another. My wife and I have had our share of money troubles (our place of employment shut down only three months after we were married and jobs were scarce in the small town). It was tough but I wouldn't trade it for anything because it brought us closer, we worked together to get through it and it strengthened our relationship greatly. That was almost 16 years ago and we are still "newlyweds" :)
  • I think it would depend on why they were in debt. Was the debt their own or did they inherit it? If it told me a bit about their character, that they weren't responsible or were frivolous, I would question the relationship and I think I would try to find someone who was more responsible and reasonable. But love can't solve those kinds of problems on it's own.
  • no, hell no, and double hell no. If they can't handle money, then what else can't they handle? Going into a marriage about $ 1000 in debt is managable but when it is over 50-70K then you have serious problems and there are questions to be asked: a) are you being married for the ATM priviledges? b) for your credit score? c) your yearly income? Stop and think and realize that you are being used.
  • No.Love is a cheap SOB.
  • I think that's a foolish thing to do. I might help the guy find a job. I don't see the point in marrying someone when children could be a result of the marriage, and just blindly hope love will take care of everything.
  • If it happened a long time ago and they are currently trying to fix it, why not? Everyone messes up, it's what you do to fix it that counts. When I got married my husband had college and credit card loans, he was doing the best he could with what he had, and it didn't take very long for us to come up with a solution and fix it. Besides, debt is not a question I would bring up dating someone, and if I dated them long enough I would love them already and it wouldn't matter. You know the whole richer or poorer part, that would be where I stand.:)
  • Yes. There is more to life than money. For the right person I would do it in a second.
  • No way. Why would you marry someone that irresponsible? The #1 reason for divorce is over finances. You do the math.
  • How would love take care of the debts?
  • no. it would be a bad life especailly if you wanted kids.
  • Absolutely not. Even if the debt is in their name, it would make wonder how they are going to handle future financial decisions with our joint accounts. If they are irresponsible and living beyond their means they may continue this in the marriage.
  • I think it depends on where the debt came from, and how they are taking care of it. I knew when I met my husband he had a lot of student loan bills. This has never bothered me because I know how important education is. Now, if it were credit card bills or something, I would have to really start to wonder if the person was careless with money or what the situation was behind the debt. More importantly also, have they learned from the experience and what are they doing to take care of it.
  • not even. it shows how irresponsible the person is financially. it'll only get worse.
  • Love is powerful is above all, but you get the whole package when you marry someone! In a community property state like NM and TX, you may get into lots of trouble with this person. What if your spose owed a few hundred thousand in loans? You may not be responsible for the debt they brought into the marriage, but what if they default while being married? That is "New" debt that you may be responsible for. I had to think it over long and hard and said "No' to marrying a person in "out of control" debt. It stinks to loose someone you love, but just think of the hardship filled life you may live being with this person who you love so much! Money does come between relationships. What do you do, just say screw the debt and pretend that it doesn't exist? It will come back to you. What happens when all her money is going to her debt, and you have to pay the rent or mortgage, pay for her car when it breaks down, and for food and entertainment? She wants to share in dreams and where your money is going, but doesn't contribute! It's coming out of your pocket. Those loans will always come first! The way you want to live, or the way you want a relationship to go financially will never happen! Then, you may be called "cheap" or "tight" or labeled "abusive" and so on, when you really do have her best intentions at heart. Money problems show in many ways and are often disguised as other relationship problems. Then you go to a therapist because he or she has low sex drive, or there is poor communication,or she drinks too much wine, or is depressed, or you are depressed and can't figure out why, and so on. Maybe the problems are her/his debt! You can't solve everyones problems, and will take on her or his problems if you get married! That's just the way it is. Small debts are way easier to handle than large, unmanageable debts where that person is always scheaming and trying to find a way out of debt. A few thousand bucks, 10 thousand bucks,... no the craziest thing to marry this person. Two people can put their resources together to conquer the debt. 50K, start looking at how she lives her life and if you want to take it on. 50K is much more after interest! 50K can be 100K after interest! Good luck and take care of yourself! So should you marry her/him? Read what I said! No way!
  • Love is powerful and above all, but you get the whole package when you marry someone! In a community property state like NM and TX, you may get into lots of trouble with this person. What if your spose owed a few hundred thousand in loans? You may not be responsible for the debt they brought into the marriage, but what if they default while being married? That is "New" debt that you may be responsible for. I had to think it over long and hard and said "No' to marrying a person in "out of control" debt. It stinks to loose someone you love, but just think of the hardship filled life you may live being with this person who you love so much! Money does come between relationships. What do you do, just say screw the debt and pretend that it doesn't exist? It will come back to you. What happens when all her money is going to her debt, and you have to pay the rent or mortgage, pay for her car when it breaks down, and for food and entertainment? She wants to share in dreams and where your money is going, but doesn't contribute! It's coming out of your pocket. Those loans will always come first! The way you want to live, or the way you want a relationship to go financially will never happen! Then, you may be called "cheap" or "tight" or labeled "abusive" and so on, when you really do have her best intentions at heart. Money problems show in many ways and are often disguised as other relationship problems. Then you go to a therapist because he or she has low sex drive, or there is poor communication,or she drinks too much wine, or is depressed, or you are depressed and can't figure out why, and so on. Maybe the problems are her/his debt! You can't solve everyones problems, and will take on her or his problems if you get married! That's just the way it is. Small debts are way easier to handle than large, unmanageable debts where that person is always scheaming and trying to find a way out of debt. A few thousand bucks, 10 thousand bucks,... no the craziest thing to marry this person. Two people can put their resources together to conquer the debt. 50K, start looking at how she lives her life and if you want to take it on. 50K is much more after interest! 50K can be 100K after interest! Good luck and take care of yourself! So should you marry her/him? Read what I said! No way!
  • DUH! Debt is a strong corrosive to a relationship.
  • "Love" can't write cheques! ;-)
  • I hope not. I'd hope I wasn't that "stupid" in love, I couldn't see straight.
  • Nope. If you paid it off, they may run it up again. When they learn the "skill of keeping money", maybe I would consider it.
  • If you really love them, pay it off...and if you REALLY, REALLY love them, let 'em do it again!
  • I would not leave them, but I would not marry until they had their finances in control.
  • Love is chemicals and money is paper. So, in conclusion, that marriage (or any) would be for suckers.

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