Hello, I am 23 and I want a baby so bad, I even cry everytime I see other peoples babies, but my boyfriend says we cant afford it but we have plenty of money for one. What should I do?
by 
amandadl85
ANSWERS: 27
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Well if you can't afford one (They can be quite Expensive) Food, Diapers, Appts., Needs, Wants. I say wait a while. You are still young
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Get a job as a nanny or day care provider or do some volunteer work with children.
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Why are you with someone who doesn't have the same goals as you? That is what the problem is.
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I know how you feel, I was in that situation for a long time. How long have you been with your boyfriend? Does he eventually want kids? If he does, maybe you should enjoy the time you have while you are young and look forward to the time when you become proud parents. If he doesnt, it might be time to find somebody who wants the same things in life that you do. Good luck xx
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im 23 too....why do you want one so bad...like what about it do you want?
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either your boyfriend is not really and it is good that he is leting you know or he just does not feel monney wise you are. do you have a house? when are you getting married? and have you two done alot of thinks together that you will want to do before you are tied down with a baby. start making plans to get there and see what he says.
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Whats the rush?? you have plenty of time..but you will only be young and free once! enjoy it while it lasts..and i agree with the advice of other users..get a job as a chilcare provider for awhile..that will give you a nice taste of what its really like to be responsible for children...
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Rent one. I'm just joking. Yes I agree that you should wait, maybe help out at some place dealing with kids! Tutor on the side or something, thats a great idea. But yeah, you are still young, and you have your life ahed of you, waiting might be a good idea. Also maybe try and calculate your expenses together if you were to have a baby, so you can see if you can support one, you'll also be prepared then when the time comes =)
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Get a puppy. Seriously. And a job as a daycare teacher. Those both held me over until I got married, and taught me a LOT of information that I can actually USE now that I'm going to be a parent. I don't have to rely on silly advice from family members and random strangers (or worse: books!) It takes 2 (TWO) parents to raise a child. If one isn't ready, you can't rush it. That is horrendously unfair.
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I know it is 'fashionable' these days to have babies outside of wedlock, but believe me, most people regret it in the long run. Together with your boyfriend, see a pre-marriage counselor and discuss your plans for your future together. You will be able to come to a much better understanding of how your goals and his goals can both work. Be sure to discuss your expectations, and find out just how your finances are going to be spent.
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listen to your b/f ...he is right and you have plenty of time to have as many babies as you want ...do what Idne has suggested (one smart lady) and see how you go , there is a HUGE difference between wanting a baby and being able to cope with one
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WAIT! having children is a lot of responsibility for one person both emotiionally, physically & fiscally; secondly, but not less important, get married first. There are way too many disturbed children in the world lost without their father figures.
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I think you should probably take some time to yourself to really evaluate why you want a baby so bad and what that means to you and weigh that against the resposibilities of having children and what's best for the child...
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calm down and wait a few years. no clock of your is ticking, its just becoming an obsession of yours. really at 23 unmarried realistically you shouldn't be crying every time you see a child. get married, buy a house...BUY not rent and save 10 grand...then talk about a kid
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You need to think about marriage first. Children need to be brought into the world in the stable environment of two committed parents (parents committed to the children as well as to each other). Make sure you discuss the issue of children with the perspective spouse before you get married too. Then you must remain committed to the marriage through all the trials and situations that marriage and a family bring. Marriage nor raising a family is easy! Both take alot of work and the shame of it all is that so many people just don't want to work at it.
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There are a couple of things to consider here: 1) you are not married. You really need to be to provide a stable haven for children. If neither you nor your boyfriend want to get married, and make that commitment, why would you want to commit to having a child. 2)why are you so obsessed with having a child? you shouldn't cry every time you see one. I love children. If I see one, I have to hold it, but that doesn't mean I want one (I am 51 now- a bit late anyway). Nevertheless, I am a very good surrogate mum and grandmum for hundreds of children in orphanages in Bali and for kids in my congregation. Get yourself practice in caring for them, with all their bad points as well as their cuteness. 3) If your boyfriend is not wanting children, and money is not an object, you both need to go to counselling to see whether there is a deeper reason for this, or whether he just sees himself as too young. If, in counselling, you discover that he really doesn't want children in the near future or not at all, it might be better to call it quits and find a man who is ready to commit to a wife and family.
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I totally understand how you feel. First of all, has your boyfriend asked for you to marry him? Second, Does he really want children? Please consider these questions before you go any further.
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at your age, you have time on your side,babies do take a lof of money, but money isnt all, thats just the start, they take a huge amount of love and time,and energy. maybe your boyfriend doesnt think you have enough of that yet. if he doesnt want one, you certainly shouldnt have one, it takes two to make that decision.
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Do you have a job? Good markable trade? Have you finished your education? You haven't said anything about yourself or your fitness for parenthood except that at this moment you "want a baby so bad". (actually the proper grammer would be, "I want a baby so badly"-so that probably says something in itself)
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start out taking care of a dog first to see if it works out
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Sounds like a dilemma.......I know that people will talk about marriage ETC. but if your bf is interested in having a baby then hopefully you both can come up with a plan.......good luck
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I can't add anything that hasn't been said except.. Don't sit and read all the answers and think the world is against you. Even if you don't think so every answer that says "Wait until later" is being given to you with only the best for you in mind. Please listen..
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Sounds like your boyfriend isn't into the idea of producing a child.I wouldn't want to have a baby with someone who doesn't want one.
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He doesn't want kids. Find someone who does. So, it might take more time, at least you'll have someone who wants kids WITH you.
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Are u out of your mind??? u aren't even married yet. how can u possible think about babies in this condition?? First get married and live with your husband for at least 2 years and so start thinking about this. I'm sure you will pass through this. give yourself a a time. u should go to a psychologist. this is not normal. having a baby is not like a doll that u get tired and give to someone else it is for the rest of your life. they are baby just for 12m. best of luck...
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Actually, I really wanted a baby. I am 22 yrs old and me my now ex bf have tried for about 8 mo and nothing.. God knows BEST! I used to cry and pray and wonder why. Why me? Why can't I conceive? Only He (God) knew it wouldn't last and I thank Him everyday that I didn't get pregnant. I could be like a lot of the young woman out here strugglying from paycheck to paycheck, dealing with "the baby daddy", the baby, and keeping myself together. DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA. Make sure you realize what your getting yourself into. Once you have it theres no turning back. You will never be single again- EVER. And although babies are wonderful blessings, you have to be in the right position to receive it as one, ie: financially, spiritually, mentally, physically. If not, you won't see it as a blessing, it'll be a burden instead. Don't live in fantasy land, because a fantasy is not a reality. I can guarantee you 8 out of 10 young mothers will tell it's hard and it's not at all what they imagined. I just thank God I didn't have to go through that to realize it.
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you should sit down and tell him how you feel and if he still says no then let him go cause he is not there to make your dreams come true. I am that way me and my boyfriend are really working on one.
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