ANSWERS: 22
  • he just does not trust you. if thats the case dump him.
  • tell me what you think?
  • Talk to him and tell him that you understand his concerns, and just reassure him that you won't be going around doing that. If he's your boyfriend, he should trust you, but sometimes some people don't understand this right off the bat with the trust issue, but just let him know that you wont (if you seriously wont). Yeah you have the right to wear whatever you want, you're your own person, but remember how important trust is in a relationship and try to work on that together.
  • Yes, you have every right. But is that ultimately more important to you than taking your b/f's feelings into consideration?
  • You have the right but do you want to exercise it? Maybe he knows something you don't, or he is just trying to protect you. He might also be a little jealous, which isn't a bad thing, not letting you get unwanted attention.
    • Bootsiebaby
      What do you mean, jealousy isn't a bad thing? Of course it is, Galeanda. What could that guy know about a girl that she doesn't know herself? If a girl needs protecting, maybe she should take up martial arts and learn to protect herself. That should kick her piggish boyfriend right in his ego.
  • If guys want good looking girlfriends, they need to expect their gf will get looks. Starting to feel like the taliban if you try to cover them up. In return, I expect the gf to not push it either. If you're in a relationship, flirting/asking for attention has it's limits.
    • Bootsiebaby
      Its limits.
  • Your boyfriend is insecure AND immature! One cornerstone of any relationship is trust. Another is proper communication. BUT most younger folks don't realize those things until it's too late. When I was a younger man, I KNOW I didn't worry about any lady who was with me. I was always very flattered when guys would flirt with any one of them. AND I KNEW if the lady came with me, she always left with me. To answer your Q: You seem to be mature and have a level head to do whatever the devil you decide you want to do - with or without your boyfriend's "approval". Thanks for asking your Q! I enjoyed answering it! VTY, Ron Berue Yes, that is my real last name! Sources: Some personal observations and opinions. "THE University of Hard Knocks" also known as ("a/k/a") "life's valuable lessons".
  • You have to right to wear whatever you feel best in. Tell you boyfriend that right away or he'll keep trying to run your life!
  • you indeed do have the right to wear whatver you want...but a relationship is give and take...how would you feel if something bothered you and you asked your bf not to do it and he still did? Now I don't want to sound like a cheauvenist but one does have to wonder why you choose to go out wearing mini skirts and looking sexy when you go out with friends...what kind of message do you want to send? what kind of responses from men are you looking to get? Why couldn't you just wear jeans and a blouse? A woman can still look nice and go out and have fun without being overly sexy...to a guy that sometimes sends him the signal that you are going out to find a new man or get attention from them..not to say that you are..but it might seem like that to your bf.. the real question is..why do you want to look sexy and when your bf isn't with you..and why don't you want to do as he asks?
  • You do have the right to wear what you want, but you also need to consider his feelings. He knows what men are like - his is one, and he doesn't want men looking at you how he feels they will if you dress in a too revealing manner. You need to compromise by dressing sexily but classy. Drop your skirts to just above knee and don't wear anything that leaves nothing to the imagination. Its a fine line between the two but if you compromise, he'll feel happier and you'll be safer. - Nothing like unwanted male attention to ruin your night.
  • It sounds like he's a bit insecure and that's about him, not about you. He'll be that way whoever he's with. On the other hand, is it so important to you to get attention that you wear revealing clothes that are bound to get attention because you crave admiration? Just some things to think about as I don't know either of you . . . only 3 lines.
  • In reference to your boyfrind's immatuity and insecurity, this is how I handled situations. If I was wrong, please let me know. This is as honest as I can get: I SWEAR to tell the truth, the whole truth AND NOTHING BUT the truth - so help me God. A qualifier: I AM a monogamous man - one man with one lady. I always was. I always will be. It's the way I was raised, noticed AND was taught. That being mentioned, here's my answer - with both options: If I was in a relationship with a lady, the thought probably wouldn't cross my mind. I would continue going about my business. On the other hand: if I was single and looking, I'm sure I would approach the young lady and ask if I could buy her a drink. THEN we would see what happened - or didn't happen.: 1) The great majority of guys look at a very beautiful lady and THE VERY FIRST thought which comes to mind is something like this: "I'm just an average guy. She'll never go out with me. I don't stand a chance." WRONG attitude for those guys. OR "She MUST have 50 guys chasing her!" WRONG thought again, men. For each and every guy who reads this answer about dating a beautiful lady: NEVER, EVER count yourself out before you even try. The very worst answer you'll receive is, "I'm sorry. I'm with someone." OR a flat-out, "No". Other than in love and romance, "No" never hurt anyone. AND since this is the first time you approached the lady, how could this possibly be considered "love and romance"? One of my mentors taught me this: SW3 - N! Some Will. Some Won't. So What. Next! Not-so-good-looking guys don't have anything to lose, do they? Let's look at this from my perspective: a not-so-good-looking man - with a little "twist": "Beauty IS in the eye of THE beholder!" AND I AM "THE beholder". Since my divorce, I always loved dating beautiful ladies. I was with one of those VERY beautiful ladies at a very popular suburban Philadelphia nightclub. We were having a WONDERFUL time! Dancing, holding hands, having a few drinks, laughing, chatting, etc. The club was crowded. The only table we could get was a "deuce" - a slightly oblong table with chairs facing each other. Lady L. leaned over the table, gently squeezed my forearm and said in a sort-of whisper, "Don't turn around, but there's a guy who hasn't taken his eyes off me since we walked in the door." I said to her, "IF I got up and went to the restroom, I BET he would be sitting in my seat as soon as I was out of sight. Bet?" Gritting her teeth and talking through them, she said, "Don't you dare! I don't need that kind of man sitting in your seat, bothering me - doing his best to hang all over me and pick me up." I said, "You should be flattered there's someone else in this place who's paying attention to you besides me. I BET if I went up to him and asked if he was jealous, he would probably say, 'yes'. Wanna bet?" She said, "No. I just don't feel comfortable. I feel as though I'm being undressed." I said, "I'm the one who's flattered! 'Cause I KNOW I have THE MOST beautiful lady in this place - and in all of Springfield - on MY arm." She kicked me in the shin and said, "Come on. Let's get out of here." AND that's the way I think of it when people stare at the lady I happen to be with at that time. A 2nd tale: Through the 26 years I worked in the food and beverage business, as one of the "benefits" of working in the business, one of my observations was and continues to be: ALMOST EVERY bar and club I went to has "a resident drunk". This is a lady or a man who can be considered almost as a "fixture" or part of the decor. About 99% of the time I went into a particular bar or club, I ALWAYS noticed the same person was there - sitting at the bar - in just about the same seat. If he or she wasn't there when I arrived, it wasn't long before he or she showed-up. I was a member of another club. At this club, "Ralph" was "the resident drunk". He was harmless. He never bothered me or the lady I was with. Other than saying, "Hello Ralph! How are ya?" - I never had too much to do with him. I was at the 2nd club with another beautiful lady. Ralph was there, too. I was on my way back to our table when he pulled me aside. He said to me, "I don't know how the devil you do it, man. What's your secret?" I KNOW the look I had was like "a deer caught in the headlights". I didn't have a clue what he was talking about. He said, "Awwwww come on, man! You know what I mean, don'tcha?" I said, "Ralph, if you tell me what you're asking about, maybe I'll give you an answer." He said, "You really don't know what I'm talkin' about, do you?" I said a simple, "No.". Ralph asked, "Do you think you're good lookin'?" I replied, "No, not at all." He asked, "How the hell does an ugly guy like you end-up with a good-lookin' broad (I WON'T use the word he used) like dat?" When he said the word "dat", he sort-of motioned with his head in the direction of the lady I was with. I leaned over and sort-of whispered in his ear BUT it wasn't such a whisper so everyone in the immediate area could hear what I was about to say. "First of all, she's not a "broad". She never was a broad. She'll never be a broad. 2nd: Because she is a lady, she earned the right and deserves to be treated with ALL the respect and attention I can possibly give her. It's part of the way I was raised and taught." Ralph asked, "Who taught you how to do that stuff?" I said, "My parents, grandparents and all my aunts and uncles." "Was it all at the same time???" I said, "Nope, but it was over a lifetime. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back with my date." And I walked away. When I got back to our table, I was asked, "What was that all about?" I replied, "It was about Y-O-U - YOU! Ralph needed a little lesson in manners and etiquette. Now what would you like to do?" AND in my opinion that's the way I look at it. To me it's nothing short of flattery. AND until and unless someone describes anything different, it will always be considered flattery. Thanks for asking your Q! I enjoyed answering it! VTY, Ron Berue Yes, that is my real last name! Sources: My wonderful family! Some observations and opinions. "THE University of Hard Knocks" Also known as [“a/k/a”] “life’s valuable lessons”.
  • I suppose he worried that if you put your meat out on a plate the cats are going to eat it.
  • If my boyfriend was so insecure that he wouldn't let me choose my own clothing, I would tell him that he doesn't get to choose. If he wouldn't agree, I would leave him. I have a cousin who married someone who tells her what to wear, and she goes along with what he says. She is miserable and can't even express her own opinions anymore because he became so controlling over several years. I hope that this was just an isolated case with your boyfriend, but it could also be an indication that he likes to be in control of you. If this is the case, for your own sake, please don't let him manage your life. You don't want to end up with a relationship like my cousin's.
  • Its the 'he doesn't want me to' part of that question that really worries me. If he said "I worry when you wear X" then its one thing, you can work with that and get him to apologise and to trust you, but if he already tried to set himself up as your boss, I mean if the way he put it was "I don't want you to wear X" then, frankly, run. Its not really about the clothes, its about control. People like that have too many issues. If you refuse he'll label you a flirt whether its fair or not. If you agree, he'll still label you a flirt, because damn, it MUST have been true or you wouldn't have agreed that your clothes were 'too' sexy. Then he'll start coming up with more and more ridiculous ways to feel masculine based on how much he gets away with being your total boss.
    • Bootsiebaby
      Guys like that might think they feel "masculine", but where I live we laugh at guys like that, not date them. I for one would only date guys who are sensitive, caring and unegotistical. I have been even more fussy about who I date since I had my son (he turns 13 this year). The last thing I want for my son is a Neanderthal barbarian thug as a substitute father. When my son is old enough to leave home I still won't be remotely interested in dating a guy who wants to be "the boss".
  • Fact from fiction, truth from diction. Yes, you should have the right to wear what you want. BUT, in a relationship, that is where you give and take. It is part of the compromise thing. If you are out with friends he should be able to trust that you are wearing a mini etc for your own comfort and taste. However out of respect for him, if you love him that much, you would wear it ONLY when you are with him. I don't do things I have done or would have normally done because out of respect for my fiancee I don't do it because she would rather I don't. She knows I love to see her in a mini but she will only wear one of she is with me out of respect and also to make it special only for me. So you should sit down with him and work out the “mini rules” that both of you can be comfortable with.
  • Yes. I suspect you will get flirting whatever you wear. So if you let him pick your clothing the next step will be him telling you that you can't go out at all.
  • Your boyfriend told you what he likes. You like to decide for yourself what to wear. You both have the right to want what you want. The difference is that your request is reasonable, and his is not. (Unless perhaps all your dresses are see-through.) . .
  • You have the right to wear whatever you want and your boyfriend has the right to find a new girlfriend. Wearing sexy dresses and mini-skirts is a deliberate effort to draw the sexual interests of other men. It is really not too different that your man asking another woman for her phone number when he goes out with friends. It might be meaningless and if you object he might might ask doesn't he have the right to talk to who he wants to talk to?
  • Yes, you do have the right to wear what you want, and if your boyfriend doesn't like it he can jolly well lump it. He obviously doesn't trust you anyway, so why do you bother with him at all?
  • i think you have the right to wear what you want too
  • i would dump him, you dont need someone controlling you like that

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