ANSWERS: 56
  • If your circumstances prevent you from providing a good home or being a good parent, it is a giving sacrifice of the highest order.
  • It depends on what kind of situation the parent is in. I normally always think it is best to give a child up for adoption instead of abortion. If a parent does not want a child for WHATEVER reason the child should still have a fair shot at life. Besides a child does not need to grow up in a home that even SLIGHTLY doubts that they want a child. That is how some kids end up being neglected or killed by thier parents.
  • Adoption is one of the kindest and most selfless act's. Loving this baby enough to insure his or her happiness. Positive way things that can happen for a child who has been placed into state custody. It is a positive way of creating a family for the child who has lost their birth parents for numerous reasons. Adoption is a wonderful way to give infertile couples a chance at creating the family they have always dreamed of. There are millions of good reasons for adopting a child. There are also millions of wonderful experiences that come from the gift of adoption.
  • I think its one of those hard decisions that you have to take to do what is best for the child.. Its a no win situation as, you will punish yourself either way..
  • i think its an extremely hard decision that should be respected not judged.
  • Hi if your adopting a child or you have adoted a child, your heart should be in it i dont think child adpotion is selfish at all, your giving a child a chance in life that probably he or she has never had, i think to adopt a child you have to have your heart in it its a full time job as to say bringing up any child, if you adopted a child im sue thatb you will give that child the love and support they require and that child would repsy giving you the love he or she has. good luck to both you and the child
  • Obviously, if you aren't able to take care of your child and give him/her the best life possible, then they should be given a better chance. However, I HATE HATE what kids have to go thru with the foster homes and orphanages, they are awful...
  • i agree, i think abortion is being selfish, not giving that baby a chance of life, and giving out for adoption means you want the best for that child.........
  • Putting up a child for adoption is NOT always selfish. I've seen programs on TV, where the mother and father suffered everyday because of their decision. But the child was way better off. Father and mother were not able to buy food for their baby and provide clothes etc. So, they put their child up for adoption. The child grew up in a richer environment, healthy and with education. Eventually the child became an adult and wanted to visit his/her biological parents. The reunion was very emotional. The "rich" kid could now help his/her parents out. The people that adopted and raised the kid were still honoured as the father and mother. Don't judge too fast. A kid could end up with two fathers and two mothers and loads of brothers, sisters etc., which could sometimes be looked upon a as a luxury.
  • Adoption is the single most unselfish love there is.
  • It depends on some circumstance. If a person feels that they are so poor that they cannot provide well for their child, then an adoption might be a kind option. If they want to offer the child for adoption because it going to be an obstacle their level of livelihood or its just going to be too much trouble bringing up a child, then that would be too bad that they fell that way.
  • as a parent who had to put her children up for adoption, I will say that I don't think there is anything selfish about adopting out a child, if you know that you can not give the child or children the life that they deserve. It does not mean that you love your children any less. It just means you want them to have the life they deserve because you love them!
  • giving...a precious life
  • It's giving the possibility of a better life to the child, but...it's also selfish in that you're making a decision that relieves you of the responsibility of providing for and raising that child. So..."Both". That's my answer.
  • It's a common sense thing to do in the event one is unable to provide for the child. I think it's a selfless and heartbreaking thing to do and I feel much compassion for anyone in that situation.
  • If you're doing it because you can't support it, and provide it with a loving home, then it's giving. If you're doing it because there's so much in life you don't want to give up for the sake of the child's well-being, then that's selfish.
  • It is the most generous gift you can give to both the child and the family the will adopt them. Some decisions in life are very hard to make, and the more intense or extreme the issue, the harder the decisions will be. Those who give their children to adoption, are a very blessed group of souls!
  • depending on why...it could be both.....but its always giving
  • giving for the most part. Thats hard to say.
  • You could say its responsible.
  • Having never been in a position to have to make that choice, I don't think it would be fair for me to judge or answer that question. I haven't walked that path. But a great question, nonetheless.
  • The two are not mutually exclusive. But if it serves the child's interest best if someone else raises it, it really doesn't matter to me if the birth parents also benefit from the arrangement.
  • I think it's a bit of both - but altogether it's a good thing. It's selfish because the pregnant mother (& father) get to continue their lives as they were before. They don't have to be "bothered" by having to raise the child. They can keep their original plans and goals, and not have to cater to the child. It's giving because somebody out there wants to have a child, but can't. They will get to have this child. The child will get to have a loving parent - who WANTED to have them - instead of someone who got pregnant and didn't want them.
  • Giving! Instead of choosing the selfish route and killing the child, you would be choosing to let someone who desperately wants a child have one. On top of that, as it would be apparent by wanting to give the child up in the first place, would be more selfish to keep a child you don't want. Hell, my wife and I have been trying for years. We have medical reasons that we have alot of trouble trying to conceive. I would gladly adopt a baby! I was adopted myself, and I consider that a great gift from my biological parents. Hell, I am alive, and wasn't aborted!
  • It is both, but it is mostly giving. It is best for the child to be raised by people who are financially and emotionally prepared to care for the child. It is best for the child to be raised by people who really want him/her. It is REALLY giving by the birth mother, who went through the pain and trouble of pregnancy and childbirth to bring the child into the world. She could have aborted with less financial, social, and emotional burden. The birth parents no longer have responsibility for the child, and can live their lives from that point onward without that responsibility. That part is serving of the self. There is nothing wrong with serving yourself if you don't harm others, though.
  • its selfish.... obviously you don't want to put in the effort to give your child the lavish lifestyle you think they would get with someone else. my parents had to BUST THEIR ASSES to give us a good life and honestly if i had a kid right now, i would take the selfish route and go for adoption....because its just easier to give birth to a child than make an appointment to get an abortion. and hell yeah, its easier to live with the guilt when you know your kid is living it up with rich yuppies rather than dead in a trash can through abortion. and its a fuck of a lot easier to come into the kids life when they are near adult hood...i mean, big fucking deal...your kid is 15 or 16 and wants to meet you.of COURSE you won't be racked with guilt...cuz in their adolescent minds, they want to believe that their REAL mom and dad truly wanted them. i'm just being real. i know this answer was down rated, but its the gods honest truth. i want so badly to lie to myself and everyone else and say i'm doing it for them, but honestly, i'm not ready to raise a child, and i'm not ready to bust my ass at a bunch of jobs doing whatever i can to make life good for this baby. its selfish. it just is. its the only excuse for a parent. so what if the child is a product of rape?it is selfish to blame an innocent baby for a sex crime, and more selfish to give your child up because of it. every way i look at it, this is a selfish act. the only time it is actually giving is if you actually make yoursef a surrogate mother for someone elses planned child, which is not the same at all. fuck that.
  • no way its not selfish at all u love ur child n want the best
  • Depends on the reasons: My ex had a child when she was 17, and gave it up. She had school to finish (college) and knew she wouldn't be able to give the child the life it deserved. Every year, around the child's BD, she got depressed, wondering where he was and how he was doing. NOTE: I DO believe that many women in this situation feel guilt and remorse for having done so, though they know/hope the child is in a better place and/or provided for better than they could have. It could be argued that she was being selfish, so she could finish school, but I don't believe that at all. I believe what I described above. HOWEVER, those who have resources and time, and give up a child for adoption because it will "cramp their style", or they can't handle children, are doing so out of selfishness. NOTE: I would prefer they did that than murder the child after it's born.
  • YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON!!! In my neighborhood alone there are 3 also wonderful couples wanting to adopt! We happen to be one!!! Contact us if you wish!!!
  • Giving! How would be selfish if you're providing the child for a better upbringing and it's best for the child? Selfish shouldn't enter your mind.
  • it depends on the reason that you give him or her up..if it bcuz you feel it would be better for with others..giving..if its cuz your on drug..selfish..(cuz you should love your kid more than anything)so it could be both.. people really shouldnt judge others
  • It is probably the greatest unselfish decision you can ever make. Not for the adoptive family you are giving your child to, but for your child. BUT, be sure you are working with an adoption professional that doesn't try to talk you into it. It needs to be YOUR decision. http://www.NationalAdoptionAnswerLine.com is a good help to get referrals.
  • Both... It is giving for the child, and the new family, but selfish in that you do it because you want to, or feel you need to (even if it's hard). I don't believe there are many unselfish acts ever commited, can't even think of one off hand.
  • I should be done under a last resort.The child wants to be with the natural parents and it would be unwise to give the child up for adoption for the consequences are too great for all.
  • Depends on why do put them up for adoption.
  • If you put them up for their own good, that is the only reason that I think they should be
  • in the case of a baby, it is giving, the woman could have chosen to have an abortion, that would have been selfish, but she carried the baby to term so she could give it to someone who wanted a child and couldnt concieve one. in the case of a kid (older than newborn) it just depends on the reason behind it, sometimes people do it because they arent fit to take care of the child, but sometimes they do it because they are tired of being a parent...
  • It can be both. I do not believe "selfish" is always a bad thing, even though it seems to be a definitively negative quality for some reason. Putting a child up for adoption is ultimately admitting that you would not be a suitable parent. Sometimes, it's better for a bad parent to leave than to stay.
  • It's giving if someone takes the child.
  • If you are unable or unwilling to raise the baby properly, adoption is the best option. I think it's very unselfish and loving. There are many couples who can't have their own children. To carry a child for 9 months and not be the one to raise him/her for whatever your reason, takes a great deal of love. It must be difficult for the mother.
  • i think that it was selfish that you concieved the baby in the first place if you weren't sure you could take care of it. But as for any step you take toward giving the baby a better life, how could it be selfish?
  • If it's best for the baby, no matter how much it hurts, it's not selfish. If you could take care of it and refuse not to... ok, this question is honestly to hard to answer, I'll get defensive take the wrong statement to heart... so I'll leave it at nothing sorry i couldn't be any help
  • if you had children knowing you were unable to take care of them than that is completely selfish. i dont think giving a child up for adoption is at all acceptable, you brought your child into the world and therefore ought to be the one bringing them up. How will the poor child feel when they grow up knowing their own mother gave them away??? there is no reason to put a child up for adoption unless they are in danger, if the danger is to do with somebody in your household, get rid of them and not your child.
  • Adoption is one of the most loving options a family can choose. When one chooses adoption I believe they do it because they truly love the baby and they are fully aware of what their parental capabilities are. Some people choose to parent, some choose adoption and others choose abortion. When choosing adoption it can be a win win situation for everyone involved. In an Open adoption the birth parents can follow their dreams and still have a wonderful relationship with their child without the emotional or financial responsibility. On the flip side the child is living with a family who truly loves them and wants to share the world with that child. In no way is adoption a “selfish” act. A person who chooses adoption has more strength and courage than anyone you will ever meet! Everyone deserves a chance to follow their dreams…adoption is a loving option!
  • It's giving! It's only selfish if you get an abortion.
  • sometimes it is the right choice sometimes it is not... goldja save us from having to vote on this issue
  • Ultimate act of love.
  • I think the welfare of the child is the most important issue. If it is to the child's benefit to be put up for adoption--then so be it.
  • I was adopted as a baby because my single mother decided my best chance of happiness would be with someone else bringing me up. What an incredible sacrifice! I'm 36 now and 2 years ago i met her for the first time since she gave me up. I can't thank her enough. She still feels guilty though all these years on, but she shouldn't.
  • I have the upmost respect for parents who have the strength to put their child's well-being before their own. Adoption is a responsible and selfless decision. Abortion is the easy choice. Someone willing to give a child life and then love them enough to find them a loving, happy home is a special person. It's never a selfish choice.
  • It is a blessing!!! I can not have anymore but would love to have another. I evenwant a special needs child. God will bless you for making the right decision. Adoption is the better choice,if you are not ready or able to take on the resoncibility.
  • http://www.onetruegift.com/Birthmothers.htm
  • It is giving, to give up a child you know in your heart that would be better some where else. It is a blessing to other who want and an not have a child.
  • well it depends i ghess. if you are under 18 and cant provide for it giving adoption would be giving because you chose to have it not abort and want a good life for him/her and the other hand if you are a fully capable adult and just dont want to deal with it its selfish
  • both I think it depends on the reason thier givning the child up. my mom said if i get pregnant abortion and adoption is no option because I wanted to act like a big girl and have sex I can be a big girl and take care of my own child.
  • As a person who surrendered a baby for adoption I was considered very selfless- until my son was adopted -then I was considered very selfish! interesting the way that works!

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