ANSWERS: 14
  • Well, in my opinion its totally out of order. Just tell him straight that you don't like it - if he loves you, he'll put you feeling confortable above himself seeing her.
  • Maybe by telling him he is about to have another ex? He keeps talking to her because he obviously is weak.
  • that behavior is uncalled for. Weren't there signs that he was a total prick before you got hitched? If you can't get through to him someone else needs to have a chat with him and tell him what he is doing is wrong. Implying that he would DO HER if they went out for drinks...that's just wrong.
  • His comments about where having drinks 'would lead' implies that he believes she still wants romance with him (and perhaps that he would entertain the idea!). Because that seems to be clear, there is no good reason for him to keep talking to her. It is not respecting your marriage for him to do so. It sounds like they have had an on and off thing for some time. I'm afraid that you will have to ask that he respect you and your feelings and end communication with her. If he thinks this is unreasonable, then I would be concerned about my marriage, if I were you. Best of luck. :)
  • For some reason she has a hold on him wether it be guilt about things that happened in the past or she plays on his sympathy. Either way, you need to put your foot down & make it clear to him that if he wants your marriage to work he needs to end all contact with her before she lures him back somehow. You are playing with fire here & I can bet that this is her alterior motive- to get him back. Everytime he contacts her it gives her hope once again! It worked for her several times before as you stated so of course she believes it can happen again. You can tell also, that she will fight dirty if need be, otherwise she would not be inviting a married man out for drinks even if it is under the guise of just being friends-she would invite you, also. Don't sit back & let things happen! Good luck...
  • That he continues to contact her while saying to you that he won't meet her for drinks because "he knows where that would lead" is the same as saying he knows he is vulnerable to cheating with this woman. Worse he told you, his wife, that he is having to use physical distance to keep from cheating with this woman. Why he continues to keep that threat to his marriage open is because he can. I would tell him that he can choose to end contact with this person, who by his own admission, isn't simply a friend from the past but instead is a "temptation" to cheat. Or he can end his relationship with you so that he is free to be on again with his on/off again fickle match. What he is doing is not only playing with fire it is very cruel and selfish thing to inflict on you. That cruelty, more than the threat of his cheating, is what would make me worry about his commitment to me and the marriage. Good luck.
  • Hi I am new at answer bag - i am not sure if i should reply to each of your answers - but i get the drift everyone is on the same page. I thank each and everyone of you for your reply and thought in my situation. The whole thing is just crazy. We had a few problems off and on in the dating stage - but didn't see anything like this happening. I now just have to get the nerve up to talk to him about it without getting my head bitten off. I plan to restate the information he has given me so far - to make sure i have the facts right. Then i will tell him that he needs to stop communicating with her and never meet her for drinks or anything. She appears to be a woman with another motive. She is an ex for a reason. I will let him know i am not comfortable with him having any kind of friendship with her - it's just not right and it's not respecting me, my feelings or our marriage. the only problem is i can hear him say - i am not going to cheat on you, you have nothing to worry about. if that happens - then i will say again that it's not right, it's not respecting me or our marriage - it hurts me to think he has gave it consideration. could he really be naive to her motives - or just playing me? i'll keep you posted or i'll come back with other questions. Thank you one and all.
  • Tell him that it upsets you. Just be open and tell him how you feel. If he still does it then he doesnt care about your feelings and you need to move on.
  • Depending on why he feels the need to still talk with his ex, you really cannot stop someone from doing something. You can, however, let him know how it makes you feel so that he can choose to respect your feelings and stop on his own.
  • Find a fella to talk to in return. You have got male friends yeah? That'll realy piss him right off. It would me. hahaha
  • Well, I'm a guy, so I think my advice holds some weight. I think the obvious aproach is to just tell him that it upsets you. But often times that starts a conversation that you might not like to get into. He'll ask why, and frankly -- who gives a damn why, it's a stupid and very pointless conversation. What he's probably trying to do is tell you all the things he hates in a woman and you can see some of those characteristics in yourself... which isn't really a bad thing. The same Character traits that are used for Bad can be used for good. Some guys think that if they just blurt out all the things they don't want in a woman before the woman they're currently dating goes about doing those things, then the girl knows what NOT to do. Well... no one is perfect. I would strike a deal with him. Every time he talks about his ex, you agree that you'll interupt him in mid centance in order to discuss random pointless small talk and random facts and general pointless information.
  • Well I don't think you can make him stop talking to her, but you can tell him how it makes you feel and hopefully, if he really cares about you, he will stop.
  • dump him, it may seem drastic, but any guy that cant let go of his ex isnt into you very much... and if he is, he'll come back to you and realize his ex wasnt worth it.
  • You can't, but if it bothers you that much just let him know. Communication is very important in a relationship.

Copyright 2018, Wired Ivy, LLC

Answerbag | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy