ANSWERS: 2
  • Wrong? Yes and no. a car is a pretty big investment and there are many things one should consider other than the price of the car. Insurance is one, then registration, licensing, blah, blah blah all should play a roll in ones commitment too an auto. Further driving pass the gas-stations gives one pause when it comes to fuel prices and how a car performs. Current economic woes are good "reasons" to consider waiting a bit before purchasing a car or taking a car loan. The markets are not happy right now, and at this stage of the game he might lose his job soonish (Lay offs are always possible everywhere, they are more possible today everywhere). Aside from the financial side of this, buying a car together may be an issue of commitment in his mind. Granted not as big as marriage, but it comes with the "what if" game. "What if we break up?" would play a huge roll. This does not mean he wants to break up, he might just have concerns over the potential. It also makes a significant marker in relationships, This is a "choice" that both of you are making together and may represent a commitment that he is not completely certain of at this time. This should not be read to mean that he isn't committed - I would worry far much more if he ran willy-nilly into these sorts of things since certainty of a committed relationship points to a person not being prepared for the long haul, not willing to work on a relationship or make careful plans and considerations for the relationship such as asking the important questions "What if we break up?" It is possible that he can not put into words the feelings that buying a car brings up. Romance and relationships are difficult even for the most articulate and knowledgeable of us. you are right to be upset because you appear to have reached an agreement and he backed out with "no reason". Relationships work with communication and he may not be communicating to you fully, thus angsts and worry and doubts are present in both of you. I do not know your partner. However the spousal unit (my partner) would tell you that even after 12 years of marriage I have "commitment" issues where I over think major and minor purchases always asking "what if we divorce?" when there is no way in heck that will happen. It is one of my endearing and the most frustrating qualities I have. Understanding that I'm "just that way" relieves SOME of the tension, however it is a bone of contention and we are "working" on that. I'm telling you this to point out that even long term relationships can have these sorts of issues - it comes with the territory. In time (100 years or so) you both will know each other completely and such minor things will cease to bother you. After that the relationship will be much, much easier..... ;-)
  • If HE was buying a new car, you have no reason to be upset. If YOU (he & you as a unit) were buying a car, yes, you have a right to be upset & to an explanation. If money isn't the issue, and you are truely upset, go buy a car. Do need permission? He seems to do just want he wants to do, why don't you too?

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