Would you take a 5 year old to his grandfathers funeral?
by 
Shopkeeper
ANSWERS: 23
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absolutely. the young need to know and understand that death is a part of life. the sooner the better.
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No. I think that is a little young. It might cause confusion and too much unexplained sadness for someone so young to handle.
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I wasn't allowed to go to my grandfather's funeral when I was 10. But that might have been something to do with the fact that we have such a large family (my paternal grand father had 15 children, and they all had families) Very young kids don't have a very strong understanding of death. They haven't known their grandparents as long as the rest of the family, and they won't really understand how the older relatives are feeling. A 5 year old might get bored and irratable at a funeral, and that won't be appreciated by his aunts and uncles, who are going through all kinds of intense and complicated emotions. That's just my personal opinion. It's up to you and your family if you think it's appropriate to take a child to a funeral.
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I think that depends on the level of understanding of the individual child. My friend has a 5 year old, that I would never dream of taking to a funeral, he doesn't care about reasoning, no amount of explaining could make this child behave any differently at a funeral, than he does day to day, but my 5 year old will listen and understand. She knows when its time to play, and when its time to be serious, and understands the reasoning behind these different times. If you are sure that he won't disrupt people who are grieving around you, then I say take him, especially if he and his grandfather were close. If you think that he may cause a problem, like running around, laughing, playing, things that 5 year olds do, I'd opt for a sitter. No doubt that the parents are grieving as well, and are under a lot of stress during this time. Having to deal with a rambunctious 5 year old, will only add to that stress.
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Absolutely. Even at 5, children need to be able to say goodbye. he may not fully understand what is happening, but this gives the parents a chance to start teaching him about life and death.
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Almost certainly. But I would make sure he was well prepared. I think 5 would be a good time to give a first explanation about death. On the other hand, don't overload him - give him the basics and let him come back for more when he is ready.
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yes, and I would try (start) to explain the meaning of life and death, nothing to fear about, that death is brother (sister) of birth (and would shipwreck most likly..)
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Personally speaking i would not, my mother was buried last week and i didnt take my kids who are almost 4 and 5.. i spoke to them about their nana dying and explained they wont see her again etc etc, but i think 5 is a bit too young. As i said its my own personal opinion and each child is different. Just to add something else, my nieces sons friend lost his dad on Jan 1st, her son who is 10 wanted to go to the funeral, so she said fine and took him.. he has been wetting his bed since.
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Yes, especially if he wants to go.
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Yes... We did. We explained that Grandpa was in Heavan now, and would NOT be returning. THe were at the showing, the service at the church, and the service at the mausoleum where the American Legion give him a 21-Gun salute. They collected a few of the shells. They understood that, and though they missed him when we saw Grandma, they didn't spend a lot of time looking for Grandpa.
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I wouldnt....
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i don't see why not, i know a 4 year old who was at his mother's funeral... kids need to learn about loss and grieving sometime.....
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If it was a theistic funeral, no.
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Yes. You are never too young to be introduced to societal rituals. Besides, children bring a great deal of comfort to adults at times like that.
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my parents didnt take me to my great grandfathers funeral when i was like 3 or 4, maybe a little old, i was kind of close with him but since i was young i really didnt know him that well, you have to look at the situation and see how close they were and make the call on your own and maybe even with the kid, he knows that he is no longer with us but you must figure out if he is mature enough to handle the funeral because it is a very heavy thing.
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Believe it or not, the funeral industry believes that you should take a child to a funeral so that they understand how life takes its course and we all end up dead. Have no fear the Grim Reaper is here! Just Kidding. So that we are not afraid of death, and just see it as a course of nature. Personally, I think every child is alittle different in temperment and I wouldn't want to take a child that might become hyper or grow impatient during a funeral. Its rude to take a child to a funeral and have the child cry or throw a tantrum at the service. People are already stressed with tension, and who wants to hear a ruckus? I wouldn't force the issue, but if you know your child can't sit through 30 minutes of cartoons without getting up and farting around...don't take the kid to a funeral & think he's going to behave all of a sudden.
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At one time I would never have done so, but at the age of 24 I went to my first funeral and could not have been less prepared for the horror of it. It was all the worse due to it being my father. Children are very resiliant and are capable of seeing through child like faith the picture but not the enormity of it. Death to them is sad but they do not r4ealise the finality of it and so being there could be a way of preparing them for future events.
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http://www.watchtower.org/e/we/index.htm?article=diagram_04.htm
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I would encourage him but ask if he wanted to go say good bye to his grandpa. I would probably take him to the viewing instead of the funeral.
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Yes
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I was 13 at my grandfather's funeral and now I remember him rather dead than alive.
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I was just with my cousin, looking through her old papers from 1st grade. We found one that simply said, "My grandpa died. I went to something called a wake. I didn't cry. We went to a restaurant after. I will always remember him." She wasn't scarred, nor was I. I think its important to teach about death at a very early age, that way at least the awareness is there and possibly less fear. Simply, Yes.
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I took my older daughter when she two to her great-grandfather's funeral. She was there at his deathbed and she accepted it quite well. She plans to work in forensic medicine in law enforcement now, so I don't think it did any damage. She's a very normal young woman.
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