ANSWERS: 30
  • Ignore your family, bigots are going out fast, either they accept you or they don't. If they don't than it's not your fault, it's their problem.
  • If it was me, I would tell my family to grow up or wave goodbye, thier choice :-)
  • Go with your heart. They'll be the one's missing out on you and sharing your life. And hopefully that will help them to come around and realize the error of their ways.
  • Seems you are in a tough situation here..I would say that standing up to your family could be one...but being disowned..Maybe see him in secret? sorry but i wouldn't have any idea for sure what you should do..
  • You know how they feel, and the consequences of your actions. Whether or not they are right -- I don't believe they are -- you know their feelings. As I sometimes say, don't jump into a swimming pool, then complain that your clothes are wet.
  • I just wouldn't tell them if I were in your shoes. How old are you anyway?
  • Weigh your options and realize once you make that decision it is hard to go back.My sister fell in love with a black man. It ruined her relationship with her Father. That was over 30yrs ago. Our Father has been forgiving, but my sister still has bitter feelings. Her relationship with the black man only lasted 3 years. Was it worth it? I can't say.
  • It will not be your family dating the guy. It is sad but you must make a choice and if your family cannot see past the colour of a persons skin and will disown and withdraw their love and care from you, then they are not a family I would wish to have.
  • Tough call. It's not unusual for even the BEST relationships to sour in time. Do you really want to risk losing your family on a relationship that may not last? As difficult as it may be in this situation, think with your HEAD, not with your heart.
  • What a situation to be in... I don't know how serious your family is on the subject of disowning members of the family due to the choices that they make, but I know that if the shoe were on the other foot and my family were to say something so bizarre to me I wouldn't take it to heart. For one, it's not possible- in the literal sense, that is- to disown anyone and two, I believe that they're simply saying this to scare you out of something that you feel strongly about. My advice to you is to stand your own ground, fight for what you want, and date whom you care to date. What's life when you have to live it in fear?
  • Ask yourself if you think they are right or wrong ? Do you think your family should accept him ? If yes make a list of reasons why they should accept him. If no do the same thing. Compare your lists to how YOU feel. If you agree with their reasons I think you should re-evaluate your relationship if not then be your own person and stick to what you know in your heart is right. Remember that anyone who could cut off having a relationship with you because of what you believe in doesn't really care about how you feel. Is it really that easy for your family to disown you ? Hmmmm that's something to think about considering it's not as easy for you.
  • Sometimes we just can't worry about what our families think if we're going to be happy. I didn't come out to my family until I was 41 because I was afraid of them rejecting me. And, even though I think they worry, they have accepted me and my partner. I know my stepdad is a bigot, but my stepsister has always dated (and was once married to) black men. She has 2 bi-racial daughters that my stepdad loves. My brother has dated a lot of black gals, and now has a Filipino fiance. Your family might not react as badly as you may think. If they see you are happy, they will just have to accept it. Some of us, even when our families seem to be bigoted, have still been accepted by them.
  • to quote an old Aussie expression I would be telling my family to 'blow it out their arse' and also tell them thats ok with me because I don't associate with bigots!!
  • If you are old enough to accept the responsibility to be on your own and potentially lose ties to your family and that doesnt bother you, then you should go for it. On the otherhand you need to think about everything before you make your decision because it could affect you for years. Being a black man, its tough for me to hold my coool when I hear stuff like this but its your life and your choice Best of luck to you. I hope that helps
  • Do what makes you happy hun. My family was against it as well, and I stayed with her for 5 1/2 years, but ultimately, we broke it off, not because of my parents, or hers for that matter, but because she was a cheating slut. Just make sure you know (REALLY KNOW) what you're getting yourself into before you alienate your family, because they've always been there for you, and this dude is not guaranteed to be.
  • You know this is a hard thing to answer because really you dont look like you know what love...meaning you look like your 12 ok hun listen to these words wisely Color is on the outside inside is what counts and you know if your family wants to dissapprove whatever they arent you but because your family is not educated or know about things that have happened over the past 50 yrs it explains it...i would hold off on love till you can get out on your own! But i am so sorry your family can not see its just skin everyones is different some have freckles some dont are the racist to them?
  • do what your heart tells you to. if you truly love him, then you will have him. its your life and your love, not your parents'. if youre really sure he's the one, then i say go for it. nothing can stop you.
  • They care for you and love you. There is no need to taint the gene pool. Is it THAT hard for you to remain true to your own race?
  • Just do whatever until you are 18, then depending on how much they are supporting you financially beyond that point, you can probably tell them to shove it.
  • When your family is fast asleep. Spray them black. They may come around eventually.
  • I would suggest deciding whether you love your family more or your black boyfriend more. You can't have both. It would probably be in your best interest to find someone your own race, because your family is going to be there forever, this boyfriend probably isn't.
  • You can't help who you fall in love with. If your family loves you, they will love whoever you love...
  • You can't help who you fall in love with, your not suppose to. I had the same issue growing up. I am very bull headed and I dated whomever I wanted anyway.
  • Do what you feel to be in your own long-term best interests. Just don't burn your bridges with your family in the process. Keep the communication channels open. Make 100% sure that you're "falling in love" with a black guy because the two of you are good for each other, and not just in reaction to your family's racist attitudes. Behaving "in reaction to" is just as bad as conforming to what others expect of you. You have to know yourself and why you're doing things, then make a rational decision based on your own long term best interests.
  • This question looks unrealistic...
  • Follow your heart but use your head. I have no time for racists, they are shallow and inferior but in the end you have to make your own decision. :o)
  • Well look at it this way. Parents are supposed to support their childrens decisions in life whether they agree with you or not. What if it was your life dream to be a lawyer but your family told you that if you ever became a lawyer they would disown you. Would you forget your dream? You need to decide what is most important to you.
  • eehhh, i know this situation well... my father is very racist... he told my sister and me the same thing... my sister now is happily with a black man and has a mixed child... and i chose to respect his opinion and only stay friends with these non-white men-- to the best of his knowledge-- until i could make a decision on wat was right-- he didn't like the friendships either but rarely made a fuss when not drunk-- in the end i decided that i would not count out every man based on the color of his skin to please my father so i chose to risk losing my father-- for a while i did but he eventually came around-- he still doesn't like it but he would never say anything to my face again because he knows he'd lose me forever... RACISIM IS NEVER OK!!!!!!!!!!!! But i have to tell u its easier on a relationship to not have racist parents... so i would have to say stay friends-- or at least friends to your parents knowledge-- until u move out... if he's the one he'll still be there... if u move out and he's moved on... well at least u had him secretly for a little while.... if u need to talk e-mail me h.foote1988@hotmail.com
  • i would date him anyways, dont let them control you like that

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