ANSWERS: 14
  • Perception of the term friend I suppose.
  • Maybe that friend has no idea what she did? Misunderstandings is the biggest cause of breakups maybe you should tell her what she did so she could explain?
  • It is because of our basic characteristics of honesty and loyalty . It is because we believe in ourselves and the feeling and care we once had for our dear friend who is no longer the same way with us ... I guess it is a way of giving respect to ourselves and not make us fall in our own eyes :-)
  • Great question ILMB. I think alot of it has to do with some people take friendship more seriously than others. The number of friends one has sometimes has something to do with it as well. Sometimes those who have a hard time making friends and don't have many because of it will take the friendships they do have way more seriously than someone who has tons of friends partly because they don't want to lose their friends. I am guilty of this. I take friendship way too seriously sometimes and often find myself getting badly hurt when it is revealed that the other person didn't think things were that serious.
  • True friendships don't turn on and off. Friends endure hardships together, ups and downs. That's why we only have maybe 2 friends in our lifetime. Some can't handle the bad times, It's easy to be friends when all is good....a true friend cares about you inspite of your faults. And sometimes even because of them. That's a more serious friendship. MHO! :)Good Question!
  • Getting hurt by someone doesn't cancel out the feelings that you have for them. I suppose sometimes it can if the pain is deep enough and inflicted intentionally for a long period of time. However, it doesn't sound like that's what you're talking about here. There are times in life when you have to remove yourself from a relationship (for whatever reasons) because you know that it is the right thing to do for yourself. It doesn't mean that you automatically stop caring for someone. In fact, the more you care about someone, the more it would hurt to find out that they weren't a "true friend". Some people (and I have done this too) immediately display anger and hatred after being hurt simply because it's easier than feeling the pain and being vulnerable. I care about people in general and take most of my relationships seriously. Here's a good example; you and I don't talk very often, but I sincerely care about you and I hope that if you ever need me, I can be there for you. To me that is a serious thing.
  • Its not easy for people like me just to let go. As I've said a few times before, I'm a glutton for punishment and sooner or later the reality of that friend betraying me might just sink in one day.
  • I don't know about other people but for me - caring is not something I can turn on and off very easily. Even when a friend hurts me, I still care enough to do what I can to help them and to get us through any hard times we have within the friendship. I guess it amounts to who actually is the "true friend" :)
  • There are those that put their hearts into everything they do, and those that are oblivious to that. Some people know that life is a series of comings and goings, and rather than get attached, they let go rather easily. Others don't see it like that, (myself included), and hang on with everything they've got.
  • Because there are always those great memories with each friend (eg. sad and happy times we share with our friends, stupid things we do with our friends, etc) Memories are something that is impossible to forget. Many times we lose to 'memories'. memories are pictures taken by our hearts that would last forever...
  • Friendships means different things to people, I for one take my friendships to heart. If I say I'm your friend it means alot to me. I just don't take on a friend for the sake of the word FRIEND. I live it.
  • I believe it depends on the "depth" of the friendship, there are many levels and the support that person gives depends on where they are. I only have tree levels; True friends that would give a body part for me to survive, and often share that body now! One the Edge Friends that have caused problems, comitted a crime agenst another friend or have been just plane stupid and won't let us help or get prof. help to fix it. Skids- the worst place to be, privilages are gone and you are shunned and on the outside of the "circle" and have been asked not to call or come by and that person is usually Pleading and groveling. I know it sounds hard but if you want true loyalty then you have to have boundries, the simpler the better! most of my friends have keys to my house, couch, fridge, lost there apt and can sleep here privialages and the call and come over and eat anytime privilage as long as you bring food to stock the pantry with stuff to refill what you have consumed! and that goes for items used for "other activities".
  • I suppose that deep down you have a hard time believing that someone you love could really hurt you. As to why....It's all in you heart.
  • People are different and therefore view friendships differently. There are, of course, people who have the same ideas of friendships. Friends who have the same values as you or are willing to tolerate your values should perhaps be the ones that you consider your best and closest, while the other ones should be categorized somewhere underneath them. Just my thoughts. This is a very good question. I've been in this situation before, and I can say that......well, you might have had good times and that might be what you want to hold on to. I once had a friend that I had a hard time letting go because he knew way too much about me and I was scared of what he would do if we weren't friends anymore so I kept holding on. I'd always apologize and he'd never apologize to me. He was always right. I was always wrong. That's what he got me believing anyway. Eventually, he ditched me as a friend and it was one of the best decisions of his life. I still miss him from time to time and wish we were still friends, but it's better that we're apart now. I walk by him in the halls at school a lot and it's so weird because..... he's someone I knew.... really well. It's one of those, "It's so sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew" moments when I see him. What can I do, though? We're better off without each other in our lives. All we have is the memories. The good ones and the hurtful ones. This is the longest I have gone without apologizing to him because I don't believe I owe him one this time as I believe I did the right thing. I am not going to let myself fall into his manipulative trap once more -- at least.... I don't think I will. We have a couple of the same friends and know a lot of the same people, but it's almost been a year since we last talked. Is it really so bad to take a friendship so seriously anyway? I think it has a lot to do with being hurt and being able to care and forgive. I think it also has to do with wanting everything the way it was before. A lot of people haven't learned the lesson that 'you can't change people' yet.

Copyright 2018, Wired Ivy, LLC

Answerbag | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy