ANSWERS: 30
  • For one, I'd make her take it out. For two, I'd find out where she got it done, as in most staes it is illegal to pierce somone under 18. For three, I'd probably ground her for a long time.
  • An ex boss of mine had an interesting approach to a situation like this. His daughter did something that he and his wife had specifically told her not to do. The next day when she was at school they moved everything out of her room (bed, phone, TV, everything, only leaving the clothes she needed for school) and put them in storage. When she got home to an empty room they told her that if she's not going to respect them then she's not getting any of the privileges of being in that family or something like that. Then they set up a system by which she could get things back - maybe grades I don't remember, but every now and then they'd tell her she could choose one thing to have back and they'd go get it out of storage. I remember the very first thing she asked for back wasn't her bed, TV, furniture, anything, it was her phone. Go figure.
  • This is tough, but she has to take it out. It'll heal and she'll have to keep getting it redone if she wants to be a brat.
  • If it were my daughter it would be removed immediately...so the hole can close. She would not be able to go anyplace with her friends for a month. I would also take her phone away for a month. If she has no phone then I would take her computer away, except to do homework.
  • I believe that it is illegal to pierce or tattoo anyone under the age of 18 some places even with parental consent. Whoever did it would not only have a lot of explaining to do, not only to me, but to the authorities as well. She would remove it and find herself grounded for quite a while.
  • Well, first thing I'd make her take it out and check everyday that's it's healing over and she's not just putting something back through it when you're not around. I'd probably ground her for the time it takes to heal completely. Longer if necessary.
  • i did that when i was 14 and ya know what my mom did? She found out where i got it done at and wrote a letter saying she was going to sue them. The person that "hooked" me up with the piercing got mad at me and i was totally embarrassed. She never made me take it out though. I would if i were you.
  • didnt she need your permission to get it done professionaly, of did one of her friends do it. if one of her friends did it i would call their mother and tell them that i didnt appricate them pierceing my daughter. if done in a shop i would call them and ask them who gave permission and have them arrested and them i would ground her for a few months. not getting off of her bed only to go to school do homework go to the bathroom eat. other than that she would be on her bed for a few months
  • Your daughter is 14 years old, in four years she'll be 18 and pretty much able to do as she pleases. To begin with, you should have told her that you'd prefer that she didn't pierce any part of her body and explain to her why. If your reasons weren't convincing enough and she went ahead and did it anyway, she would not have had to disobey a direct order from you, thus avoiding a confrontation that I assure you will not have a peaceful resolution neither for you nor for your daughter. "Punishing" her for something that she feels (right or wrong) will help her look better, and feel better about herself will only make matters worse.
  • I agree with the first answer. #1 Definitely make her take it out, and make her KEEP it out. #2 And definitely go to the place where she got it pierced and let them know your daughter's age, and that you did not give consent. #3 Also whoever your daughter was with when she got the piercing, I would ground her from hanging out with that person or persons for some time. #4 And I would discuss the fact that your daughter broke your trust and that it will take some time for her to build up the trust again, and restrict her priviliges for some time. Also, because it sounds like your daughter did this because she wanted to express herself in some artistic way, down the road when she's not grounded anymore I would probably let her pick a (harmless) form of expression for herself...... could she maybe dye her hair or start wearing make up? Good luck.
  • let her be all she did was pierce her body if you punnish her she will just be more upset and lash out even more
  • I think you are ready for family counseling. Check with your health provider and find someone who specializes in teens. If she is rebelling to this extent, you need professional help.
  • Make her remove them. Remove everything from her room including her bed, leave clothes. Piled on the floor. She becomes the personal bitch of my house hold. I want something done? She does it. Cleaning, working, polishing the floor over and over again, you name it. No friends, no phone, nothing. One month. You wanna bet she'd every try it again?
  • I think the month grounding is a bit random. Make the consequences relate to the act. Grounded until the hole heals? That way she won't sneak it back in and she'll take great care of it so it heals faster!
  • mine did that and so i said "wow! you were right, its so pretty!~ first she kinda freaked cuz she wasn't going for pretty lol then she seemed disturbed that an older than her person would think it's ok (kinda wrecked it for her) and after that she didn't get anymore and also quit changing her hair to weird colors that do not match even your clothing :)
  • definitly find out where this was done and complain and file a report against them if it isn't legal where you live. I would be livid. only because if they have a law against this for minors and this establishment didn't care then they probably don't care about anything else like being sanitary and all. if she did it herself than she can do it again herself in 4 years. Either way make her take it out and make sure it is closing. Keep her grounded till it is completely closed.
  • make her take it out and find out who did it and report them.
  • I sort of agree with the anonymous who said she just pierced her body BUT she is 14 years old and she has to abide by the rules of the house she lives in. Is it illegal for a 14 yo to get pierced without a parents consent in your state? If so go right back to the place that did it, with her, and make them take it out threatening to report them to the board of health. (you may actually want to do that because if they aren't following one law then the possibility they aren't following others is there, like sterilization). Then I would take away all her privileges and make her earn them back one by one. She also has to get at least a certain average in school or the punishment is extended. I am not personally against body piercings, what I am against are kids who don't listen to the parents that provide all the necessities for them such as house, food and clothes. Each house has rules and each child must abide by those rules and if they don't want to they should go out, get a job, be an adult and pay their own way....that way they have their own house to make their own rules. If they aren't ready to do that then they aren't ready to make certain decisions.
  • I WOULD # 1 MAKE HER TAKE OUT THE RING AND GIVE IT TO YOU # 2 GIVE HER A SPANKING LIKE SHE HAS NEVER HAD BEFORE # 3 FIND OUT WHERE AND WHO PIERCED HER AND GO AND GIVE THEM A PEICE OF YOUR MIND!!!!
  • i was 14 and i got my tongue done and 16 i had my lip done as well. my dad refused to let me have my tongue pierced and i went ahead anyway and when they found out i was not diciplined, they knew if they demanded me take it out id refuse and what would he had done rip my tongue?! no with my lip i realised it does not look nice and i look better without it so i took it out on my own accord. my advice would be to tell her the parent is upset as they dissobeyed them then tell her all the reasons y its not a good thing! 1 day she will agree with you and remove it but for now its her phase liek yoyos or fake tattoos, she may grow out of it and hate it she may continue to like it for years, its only a little pirecing i dont see what the big deal is!
  • im a teenager and when i did stuff against my moms wishes she made me deside the punishment and it was so hard trying to be fair to myself,she also didnt let me do any thing for 2weeks and i wasnt aloud a birthday wich was a fw days away,i learned my lesson
  • You know Tigger, you have just opened up a completely different scenario, thanks for your comment ;-) What punishment do you think may have worked for you?
  • I speak as a single father of three who raised them on my own from preteens until 20 somethings. I also had to travel several times a month for my job and leave them alone for nights at a time. I chose to take a cooperative communicative approach rather than a confrontational approaches when dealing with my children. Now, this recommendation may come late for this issue, but, I promise you, similar challenging issues: drugs, parties; boyfriends, etc. will be coming soon. First, recommend before you reaching this point, you should maintain open discussions on her priorities in her life. College, dating, fitting in, whatever. Why she wants to do something such as pierce her chin, nose, ear etc.? And why it was important to her. Also, before discussing this, you need to answer why it is so important to you, for her not to have her face pierced? Ask yourself why? Is it vanity on your part? "What will the neighbors say?" or what? It sounds like you two are playing out a control game ritual, like "I'll show you I am the boss." She is challenging you (for perhaps hidden reasons: Bitterness over being a child of divorce or something like that.) My one daughter at around 12 years old started wanting ot have Pink hair. We talked about it. My position was we barely have money for paying the phone bill, lets set some priorities with money. Also, I continually pushed responsibility as shown by good grades as well as housework and other measures. The Pink Hair subject came up several times over the next two years. Finally, we were more economically secure. Around 14 she was on the honors list, she was respectful to neighbors and to me. She said, "She felt we should be able to laugh at ourselves and laugh at the world." I then said, "That's a good enough reason. You can do it. But, nothing that could cause permanent damage to your hair and nothing too expensive." Also,I only allowed 30 minutes of TV per child during the school week. We sat down on Sunday evening, reviewed the weekly TV schedule and the three tens got to work it out. Obviously, I couldn't control this while I traveled, so we needed to have trust and honor. At 15 or 16, wine was available to be had with evening and holiday meals. At the times they chose to drink, We talked about alcoholism, drunkenness and the possible results, Car accidents, Pregnancy. My children learned to drink responsibly and that ceased to be an issue. At teen parties, they chose not to drink and other kids would ask, "Is your dad a preacher?" Enough advice. Good luck.
  • joke around with her that her daddy is going to take a large wrench and yank it out!!!!! your daughter is just going through a stage. dont worry. just let it be and dont make a big deal out of it. when she gets old enough im sure she will get sick of it and take it out. but for the time being tell her that you are very upset that she did this. tell her that it makes you feel hurt when she goes agaisnt your will. tell her that when she is older and has a daughter of her own she will understand more so. When i was 14 i was not aloud to get my ear pierced. i went into a place anyways told them i was 16 and they pierced my ears without any id verification or parental consent!! same with my belly peircing i went in at 16 and got my freinds mom to sign the concent form. My parents were very agaisnt it but they accepted it said that they did not like it but that was it. I think the bigger deal you make out of it the more rebelious she will be. just tell her that when its time to get a job she will regret getting it due to most jobs require no facial peircings. the bigger the deal you make out of it the more rebeious she will get and most likely lash out in other ways. just keep yur cool and talk to her.
  • Well, you can press charges against whoever did it. Bonus points if it was her friend, because now they're both punished- your daughter by having gotten her friend in trouble. Remove it, by force(not always possible, but my mom can still judo-flip me so if you have that ability than use it) or by locking her in her room until she hands it to you (spring break is coming up!). And, of course, ground her. No hanging out with the friends who goaded her into it.
  • Let it get infected and then when she asks for help with it, tell her if she couldn't do the time she shouldn't have done the crime. That's a way of saying if she didn't want it to happen, she shouldn't have had it done. Sounds like an off the wall approach, but if you use conventional methods, she'll continually rebel.
  • I got my nose pierced 4 months before my 18th birthday. My father shrugged and my mother nearly had a heart attack. A friend of a friend actually did it for me he was a piercing apprentice. 14 is a little young to be getting pierced but if she keeps a little stud in what is the harm? I understand maybe grounding her for a month but explain to her your grounding her for disobeying you. My parents made the mistake of never explaining thier reason for punishing me which in turn maybe me act out more because didnt understand what I was being punished for. I had to see a family pyschiatrist for a good year and a half with my parents to sort out this issue. I agree with grounding her, because some children act out for attention even bad attention like being punished. As the older of 2 children I would act out just so my parents knew I still existed. They were always far to busy with my younger brother, work, the dog or fixing up the house. Make sure you are giving your daughter enough attention. She may act as though she doesnt like it but she does. She may be rude or just very quiet but make it a point to speak with her daily about family affairs, current events, school or as she gets older, work. I hope this gave you a little bit of insight into your teenage daughter.
  • Tell her it looks really silly.
  • I'd take it out, against her wishes, and send the cops to whichever place she got it pierced at.
  • in my view the shop that pierced ur daughter should b held accountable is a form of abuse if kids pierced by a1 at that age without parental consent As regards punishment insist that piercing is removed as it will cause probs at school & remove a privalige eg computer for a set time It worked for me with both my girls

Copyright 2020, Wired Ivy, LLC

Answerbag | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy