ANSWERS: 13
  • If you don't want to move on then there is no hope of you moving on quickly, it's got to come from within you. I have had personal experience of this and I know it's a well worn cliche but believe me time will help you. Good luck for the future.
  • Sorry for your loss. Yes, it's possible to move on, but motivation is important. If you don't want to move on, certainly that's a big barrier. There's emotional trauma in a situation like this, and that trauma has to be "processed" psychologically... you have to live through the sadness, anger, guilt, and whatever other feelings and thoughts come up. However, beyond that normal process, there are pitfalls in resolving a loss: in particular, "clinging" to ideas of the past or ideas about your loved one is unhealthy and can be debilitating. Life really does move on, whether you choose to come with it or not... and there's a high price to be paid for deciding to hang out in the cemetery every day long after the trauma has passed. It's your life, nobody else can make your choices for you. But it's good to be aware of the consequences for choosing not to move on once you're done grieving. The rest of life still needs you.
  • I am very sorry for your loss, I know how this can lead a person to confusion and lots of questions. There is hope for happiness but there is no time frame and to h*ll with all the ones who tell you it is time to move on. Your last comment tells me you still need more time. You can't turn love on and off, it is okay to love that person forever.
  • I fear that someone from on here has passed away. Someone I chatted with and emailed back and forth with for a long while. It's sick because if what happened that I think happened, I could have prevented it. Maybe. I really don't know what will happen to me emotionally if I find out that my fears are real (and that's just from knowing someone from online and not even in real life).
  • It would be unusual for you not to recover. Most people find that the pain of loss while never going away, does lessen over time to be replaced by fond memories. You should naturally be able to move on and love again. Your sadness will stay with you to some degree all of your life. If you find you have trouble you may go to a grief counselor. Most funeral homes have lists of these people for the use of those who have suffered a loss.
  • I am in that boat. It's almost 3 years now and at times it seems like it was just yesterday. There is no time limit on how long it should take you to get over the loss of a spouse or significant other. Some people mourn that type of loss for many years. People that sit here and tell you that you need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get out there and learn to love again have either never lost someone they loved like that or they have very strong willpower. The grieving period is different for everyone. Just because one person moved on after only a few months doesn't mean someone else has to or can. We all deal with loss in our own ways. Some of us choose to move on with life like nothing happened while others take years to get over the loss. The bottom line here is you will know when it is time to move on. Don't let anyone else tell you any different.
  • It will take time, but you will move on. You will always love him/her, but eventually you'll be able to love someone else. A boyfriend of mine was hit by a car and killed a day after I got home from a family vacation. When I first heard, I was devastated to the point that I did not believe it. I didn't even cry. Then the funeral came and it was open casket. The moment I saw him lying there, everything hit home. It took me almost a year to love another man the way I loved him. He wasn't only my boyfriend, but also my best friend. I do believe that if he was still alive, we would be married. The love we shared was something special that I had never experienced in any other relationship. It's a relationship that I will always cherish in my heart. I'm not married to another man and have a sweet little baby boy with him. My ex are still in my thoughts and I still pray for his family (especially his mother, who he was closest to). I know this may not help, but I am hoping to give you just a bit of hope and faith that you can move on. Just because you move on, doesn't mean you don't have to forget him/her or the love you shared. Just don't compare that love to any new relationships and don't let it get in the way of being with someone else (which is difficult to do). I'm sorry for your loss and I'll pray for you.
  • The love of my life passed away a week ago in a motor vehicle accident. I have never had to deal with something even close to this and I don't have words to explain how I feel. I will forever love him. I want to move on, truly, but I know that it will take some time. To be honest I have just talked to him a alot. Out loud. I know somewhere he is listening to me.
  • It sounds cliche, but time does heal all wounds. You may never forget them or the love your shared. But you will be able to love again.
  • well personallly i would have to say that death is really hard in life and it will take a while to get over death but soon or later yo will get over it but if you have someone that you love and they have past then you have to have time
  • no ,I do not think so
  • I have done - twice - so I know it is possible. There are also other Answerbag users who have shared their stories with us, and have managed to work through this horrible experience.
  • It is normal to grieve for a long time after someone you have loved deeply has passed on. Give yourself time. There should come a time in the next year or so when the grief lifts enough to see a future. But the time it takes depends on many factors. If, after a year, you are still in the depths of grief, please get some counselling. All the best.

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