• I just knew! When I was about 6, I wanted to wear panties as well as nylons but was afraid to because of what my parents would think and that feeling of fear of what others would do or say carried on now to my fifties! I dress in the closet and dream of actually living my life as a woman! The result of hiding and restricting who I know I am caused divorce, depression, high blood pressure and a host of other problems because of societies role in what is considered acceptable or "Normal"! Sad really! Who really does feel they have freedom?
  • I was 8 years old, in 1961. I didn't have the words for it, but I knew something was wrong. I am mtf...most of my friends were girls. My mother asked me why I played with girls - there was something about the way she asked that I knew it was an important question. My invented answer was "How else would I know which one to marry). I found out last year, that my mum had spoke to my dad about it, too. When I was 12, I 'dressed' for a friend, he laughed and that was the moment that I realised that other boys were not like me. I was not strong enough to fight the attitudes of society at a time when, like any 12 year old, I just wanted to belong. And although I now present as female (without having to 'try' to be female), inside I identify as around 75% female, 25% male.
  • I officially knew when I was twelve, but it was apparent to me all my life that I was into feminine things. One of my earliest memories was when I was a child at daycare, and they took out the dress up crate. I was the first to go for the wig and tacky green vest. Then I would go upstairs (there was this neat two floor fort thing) to a little secluded room, cardboard-brick myself in, and pretend the room was a machine that could turn me into a girl, but would change me back when I had to go home. I've also never gotten along to well with guys, they're icky and have cooties lol, but seriously, I've never been into anything guyish.. Never really liked sports, loved dolls, loved pretty things, I worshiped rainbow Bright lol. I remember when I was in fourth and fifth grade I would go to bed every night and pray that I would wake up a girl. But like I said, I didn't officially know until I was twelve, and didn't come out till i was fifteen... and thats a story for another time.
  • First of all, for me, it wasn't a matter of when i "wanted to be" a female, it was a matter of when i realized that others thought of me as a male. I was 4 years old, and up until "that day", i just assumed everyone looked the same "down there", as that was all i had ever seen. But that day, i saw my mother "down there" for the first time, and i was devistated. I remember feeling very sick, my eyes teared up, and all i could think was "..but i am a "mommy" person, why am i not like that "down" there.
  • i am ftm and i knew about .. 8-9 years old.. i was realizing that i hated girls stuff i hated playing with anything pink i always wanted to ride bikes and get dirty some people say i was just a town boy but it was more than that i knew it inside i just didnt want what was on my chest i cried when they grew.. it was a scary though that i had to grow up to be a girl but now i dont have to :-0
  • i new the moment i came to terms with my gang rape experience, and relized that i loved it. im mtf and am bi
  • "I was 4 years old, and up until "that day", i just assumed everyone looked the same "down there", as that was all i had ever seen" The same is true for me..although I'm ftm, and for me, I was I think 2 or 3 years old. Once I found out, I became fascinated by it and I wanted one of my own..when I was only 4 years old I tried to make one out of paper :P So I guess I've known since I was really little, since around 2, 3, 4 years old I've always expressed in some way or another that I wanted to be a boy, although I didn't really understand what was happening and I thought it was something that would go away with time..but I only think about it more as time goes on.
  • I was 8 the first time I told my mom I am a girl. Then, when I was 14 my mom caught me dressing. I had been dressing since I was 9 with 2 sisters who were friends of mine. I hid it for several years which took an emotional toll on me. Last year my ex roommate's gf sat me down and asked me about my feminine ways and I knew right there that she knew and I confessed. Shortly after, I came out to everyone and to my surprise, I didn't lose anyone. I went full time 3 months ago and I am happier than ever. Currently waiting on doc's referral for hormones and spiro. I'm pretty passable now and it kinda helps when I do go out anywhere.
  • Before I give my answer, I first want to set some things straight. Sorry for the long post to come :) Transgender doesn't always mean transsexual. Transgenderism refers to the whole area beyond being 'pure' man or woman. With 'pure' I mean not only physical but also psychological. For example, a girl migh be a boyish girl, but still feels like she is a woman. In that case, she is not transgender, but more a boyish girl/woman. A transsexual is someone who really feels like the opposite gender. In most cases they want the transition, are in the middle of it or went through it. Being a transgender does not automatically mean that you are transsexual. Some people, me for instance, feel that they are more in the middle of the genders. We are called 'androgynes' or 'genderqueers'. Some choose to live more like the 'opposite sex', some don't. Anyway, that having said, now my answer :) I have always felt this way. I realised this for the first time when I was still very young, about 4 years old. I always played like a little boy. Someone pointed that out to me at that age, saying that I was a disgrace, for being so boyish. I had to behave much more like a girl, but I didn't feel that way at all. She was my neighbour, and eventually she even called her children back into the house when I was outside. When I was a bit older I always played with my niece. I always played the man-role, and I could not understand why she wanted to play the woman all the time. But for me it was simple, I just didn't feel like a girl at all. This had let me think about a transition, when I was in my puberty. I was very confused about my gender, I felt like a boy, fell in love with both girls and boys, and still I was also very feminine in certain ways. So I wasn't totally 'the other gender'. Then, at age 14, I came across a chinese symbol that meant 'two-gendered blossom'. Androgynity. This symbol opened my eyes big time! That was exactly how I felt! Not a girl or a boy, but both! Almost immediately I got some ink and a needle, and made my first tattoo. :)) Through my life (38 now) I still went through some confusion, and I still do at times. This mainly because it is very difficult for people to understand, sometimes even for me. But mostly I feel very comfortable with who I am. I feel very complete, having both genders so strongly in me. (Maybe that's why I like SE Asia so much, as for example in Thailand or the Philippines it's just accepted that there is the third gender.) Since my friends started to be parents, I have seen how typical genderbehaviour is. And how little it has got to do with upbringing. Most boys are typical boys, and girls typical girls. It's beautiful to see and really confrontational with my own identity. One of my friends has a little boy who has always been far more a girl. It's so special to see him growing up! I wonder what he will be later, how he feels his identity is. He reminds me a lot of myself at that age. Anyway, sorry for my long answer. I just wanted to answer this right. :)
  • I think I first realised something was different about me when I was about 6 or 7. I remember asking my mum what she would have called me if I'd been born a boy, and she told me, and since then I've always wondered what "he" would have been like. I was a very tomboyish girl but unlike with most, it was a phase I never grew out of and still haven't to this day. I learned in my teens that there were men who cross-dressed as women and had sex changes to become women, and I was always jealous that it couldn't be the other way round. It was only later that I realised it COULD be the other way round. My biggest regret is that I didn't know when I was 18.
  • I was 12 when my sis dressed me up it felt so right I now dress daily and started on hormones

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