When you tell a friend a problem that you are having and they tell you to "get over it," do you take that as advice or as an insult?
by 
CuriousFrank
ANSWERS: 22
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I take it as a huge insult. They act like it's so easy to simply "get over it." I hate that phrase, and "You think too much", with a passion.
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I would certainly not take it as a sympathetic or empathetic response.
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It depends on if they look like they're actually listening. If they aren't, then then I take it as an insult. If they honestly listened to everything I had to say on the issue and still just said "get over it", I'd be hurt but still just take it as advice.
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a total insult means to me they just don't want to help.
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I think it depends on how close your friends are. If a very close friend tell me that, I would be hurt at first but I know she is only telling that to help me move forward in my life. So, I would actually take it as an advice.
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Well ya know I never thought I would think twice about something I told someone!! I did say this on Friday to someone, I guess it's because I had to hear about the womans peoblem the whole week!! It just seemed like she worried about it so much she was getting sick about it!! And the whole deal was she made a mountain out of a mole hill!! But I guess I was wrong for saying that!! thanks for the eye opener!!
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It would depend on the situation and my relationship with the person. There are some problems that one *Should* just "Get Over", and although it's better to say it in a gentler way, "Get over it" can be very good advice. When I take up an introspective view on a personal problem (Which I almost always do before I talk to someone else about it), "Get over it" is often the advice I give myself. Of course, if someone says that and I haven't come up with that option on my own before talking to them, or if they're not close enough to me to truly understand if it happens to be a "Get over it" sort of issue, I assume that they're either insulting me, or just don't want to help and are trying to shrug me off.
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Depends on how it was stated. If it's with a gentle tone, I think it's an advice. But if it's with a tone that sounds like "c'mon it's no big a deal," then I would consider it an insult. A problem IS a problem and it must be addressed, not gotten over with.
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A really good, close friend would not say such a thing. I would consider it an insult, and would guess that person doesn't care one way or the other about your problem. And I certainly wouldn't consider them a friend anymore for being so cold.
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That tells me 2 things. 1. You may have told your friend about this so many times you are appearing to whine and were already given advice you have not followed through on or...they were just kidding. Perhaps they don't know what to do and want to avoid talking about your problem. My guess it is the first situation. This has happened to me too when I dwell on a problem and pester others for a solution.
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sometimes problems need a short sharp answer instead of a 100 page epic or a 'deep and meaningful' one ...its like a slap in the face ...pulls you up and really makes you think ...remember you asked in the first place!! :)
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lol...I'd ask this 'so-called' friend if they had a good dental plan...lol....j/k...Luckily, I don't have any friends that are that rude. VGQ+ -Buddy
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I think this so-called friend needs to retake "Empathy 101". This is no friend, it is someone who is too busy with themselves to even give you a shoulder to cry on.
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Depends on the situation and how it's said. Most of the time, if I'm coming to a friend for advice/support, I'd like something more than just "get over it". Obviously it's important enough to me to bring it up, why just dismiss my feelings? At the same time, sometimes you need someone, after hours of thinking and analyzing and over-analyzing for someone to just say "get over it already!". But again it depends. Most of the time, I'd be offended.
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It depends on the way they say it. If its more of a "who cares, now get over it," then its obviously offensive. If its "You just need to get over it and move on," then its advice.
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It would have to be a REALLY good buddy said in a joke for me not to knock them on there ass and say "get over THAT"!!
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It definitely depends on the way they say it. If it's in a "I don't care" way, I would be offended, but even then, if I am being very dramatic and over-sensitive about it, it may be good advice. Generally, I try to care about everything other say, and I like that in return.
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My friends are a trusted brigade so I always take the answer seriously. When I get this one, it usually means I am embroiled in a problem I will spend much time on without changing the outcome and it is better just to move on. I listen.
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It would be an insult...when I needed any sort of compassion and someone throws that at me?....see ya friend!
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I would be truly hurt if my friend did that to me. I would cease to consider them a true friend. They would become an acquaintance. A true friend listens to you and hear you, not shut you up or out.
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I wouldn't take it as an insult. I'd take it as they didn't care about me. Those are bad friends!
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That happened me recently - and I am pissed. My 'Buddy' knows me well enough to know that I was genuinely in pain, but he just blew it off. I'm still trying to decide how to respond - don't want to lose a freindship but won't be a doormat either in one.
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