ANSWERS: 5
  • It could definitely be from hormones... Pregnancy is really hard on the body. Also she feels fat and unattractive and must be having body issues... Just be there for here and understand she loves you and she cannot control anything happening to her body right now...
  • You should sit there quietly for the next nine months (potentially more since after birth can be even worse at times) and take it like a man. Yes hormones rage and women become highly irrational and very thing is your fault. Just wait until you are in the delivery room and she tells you (at the top of her lungs) exactly what kind of low life scum you are and how she hates your penis and everything you did to her. After the baby pops out she will suddenly forget half of those things and it will be all love and wonderful until about the second month of 3 AM feedings and the 8,000th diaper change. Then you will enter into a new phase where men are animals and are responsible for all of these horrible things in life. You can short circuit that by waking up half of the time to change diapers, feed baby etc. Most of what she is saying/doing right now is based on the fact that she has this alien life form inside of her sucking her life out of her. Along with the physical ailments (bloating, retaining water, pains, aches and general symptoms of pregnancy) there will also be periods of insane levels of fear and dread - and crying bouts all over things from will the baby be born "normal" to how will we pay for college? "normal" everyday questions which for a non-hormonal person requires very little thought will in a pregnant woman cause tears, fears, anger, dread, etc to be magnified. Not only because of hormones but because the woman is coming to grips with the fact that for the next 18 years (actually for life, lol) there will be this needful thing that will need a lot of attention and need to be supported and taken care of in all manner of ways. That period usually doesn't hit men until 7 months when suddenly the wife/GF swells up like a balloon and baby is kicking like an all star footballer. For some men it doesn't hit them until they see the baby coming out. It all comes with the territory. Some women handle it "nicely" meaning they internalize the crap and go on, others need to get it all out of their system and will "launch" a full attack on the nearest victim (usually the man). Most of what they say are due to raging hormones, and the mental/emotional baggage that thinking about the future will bring. Very little of it will be based on reality - and what little there is will be blown all out of proportion. I'm certain that your arguments have become more irrational and illogical and no matter what you say you can not win. Granted this is usually the case with women anyways, but when a woman is pregnant the situation is about 100 times worse. Your stance for the nine months of pregnancy is to accept what she says with a grain of sand and to accept that everything is your fault as you are blamed for ______ (Fill in the space). Apologize for everything, and try to keep a cool head. Arguing or "fighting" with her is a no win situation - even if you are "right" you are wrong. Not really, but in her world you are and the best bet is to strike it up to pregnancy and to accept and to try to keep the house sane and calm. And for the love of God do not mistake what I said to mean that you should ignore her - Don't go there, you will end up with your head being handed to you on a platter. Instead make the appropriate noises that sooth the pregnant woman: "Yes dear." "I'm sorry." "I'll get it done right away." "Honey I love you......" The success rate of those phrases is based on if you can say it like you mean it, and if you can tow the line and do for her those little things that she "asks". If you are real good you will do those things she asks for (in her mind, with no outward indication) before she asks. If you really want some peace of mind for oh I don't know about a month, perhaps two if you work it right - propose marriage to her now. Marriage, a wedding, will give her something to focus on for a while. Further marriage says that you are dedicated to her and the baby for the long haul - which is one of those things that she may not be screaming about, but can have a huge impact on how she is treating you. There is nothing like marriage to demonstrate that you do love her and that you are committed to her and the baby. No a wedding will not cover everything, but I'm willing to bet that your life will get a lot easier.
  • Read Athrael's answer, then... Look in to local community classes (often sponsored by local hospitals or the community center) on preparing and dealing with pregnancy (they may include the emotional stuff and some practical stuff, like budgeting for baby etc). Talk with her about it - express that you really want to see it through and ask her how you can help. Ask her if there is something you can do that would help her at this stage. Make sure she is getting plenty of rest and fluids and good nutrition - pregnancy is EXHAUSTING. Just show her you care. If you love her, you'll stick with her through the rough spots. It is probably not just hormones either. She may scared or worried about what the future holds. -------------- And if all else fails, go by the biggest and shiniest diamond you can afford and ask her to marry you. ;o)
  • My poor Husband (then boyfriend) just put up with everything I dished out to him, he didn't argue back, he apologized lots and was really good about letting it go when I asked him to. Yes, 99% of our fights were because of MY hormones and looking back I love him so much and appreciate what he did more than anything else in the world, he stood by me when it was hardest and when I needed him most, and that's what you should do. Also, prenatal classes will help you both a lot AND (And this is so important) READ THE BOOKS! If you don't have them already, buy pregnancy and baby care books and READ THEM, put them in the bathroom if that's the only place you ever read, but for the love of god, read the books. It will also be good for you to buy a daddy specific book (my guy got one called "So you're going to be a dad") Good luck, it's a hard time, but you'll get through it!
  • I am going through the opposite right now. I am 19 years old and pregnant. My boyfriend and I fight all the time now. I don't think he realizes that I am now carrying around His child. I don't want to push him too much but I just can't take it anymore. I hate fighting with him because of comments he makes to me and every time I tell him he says that he's only joking with me about the things he says that hurt my feelings. I don't know what more to do. Expressing my feelings just isn't working any more.

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