ANSWERS: 2
  • Crikey, I'm not sure how to answer this, sorry your parents were monsters, but here you are alive today despite the abuse, this might be something you want to share with a therapist, there are books on this topic which deal with how certain childhood abuse can affect a person in adulthood. I'm sure that your goal is probably to move forward in your life, and heal from your past, so that the baggage from their lives is not yours which I can only admire for that takes bravery and honesty. Usually, in childhood abuse, the child can dissociate from what is happening to them because it so ghastly, and a child for the most part, has to rely on their parents as caregivers, which makes childhood abuse one of the most heinous crimes I can think of. A child that has no right to say what happens to their body, loses all sense of control. They can end up compartmentalising their lives, because obviously, they don't want to accept that these people were behaving in this way, other times, the abused identifies with the abuser, because in the case of abuse, the victim becomes powerless, and they see the abuser has power, and this is why some people that are abused end up acting out their abuse in adulthood in all kinds forms, both on others and towards themselves. Some become over-sexualised, others tune out body sensations or wants, some become solitary, unable to form bonds with people because their core set up was severely disconnected to the point that they trust no one, and sometimes not even themselves, which makes you further vulnerable to predatory adults. It's a very in-depth topic, far beyond the scope of my knowledge, but I do hope that you can get the help you need, and learn to make healthy relationships especially with yourself, my thoughts are with you. Right I just had a look around the internet and found this site, this might be helpful as it is a forum for survivors of childhood abuse, if this is not helpful just google some more forums or support groups. https://mysupportforums.org/survivors-of-abuse/
  • This is the second time I'm answering this post because you posted it twice. On my second reading a few new things came to mind. You are not saying this as something you remember. You are repeating stories that were told you. This indicates that you may have been better off not hearing the stories. And those telling you are giving mostly assumptions and only one fact that may or may not be true. Whether it is nor not, knowing for sure really doesn't change anything. I was abused and molested as a toddler and I remember it! It hurt! But whether you remember or not it doesn't change it. And nothing you do now can change what happened in the past. YOU are responsible for YOUR FUTURE regardless of the past. That's true for everyone. Holding on to the past only keeps you from living your fullest future. It only allows those who hurt you to continue abusing you because you entertain them in your head. Kick them out and don't give them one more second of space in your brain! If you need mental help because its causing problems in your daily life then get it, but learning the past doesn't change it and blaming others for your crap start doesn't help you progress and improve, it only keeps you stuck and wallowing in pity. Get up! Take charge of your life and live the destiny you deserve! Don't let them continue to hurt you over and over every day in your head because now YOU ARE CHOOSING to hurt yourself.

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