ANSWERS: 6
  • Wearing white socks with sandals. Only because my feet are so ugly. : (
    • Dustysoul
      Try black socks ^_
    • beaker95
      How can feet be ugly...?
    • Linda Joy
      They can!
  • I like to pull ma babee close and dance if romantic music is playing while ma sweetie is cooking dinner.
    • Linda Joy
      That usually led to a distracted mental state and almost burning dinner! Almost!
  • They usually get irritated at me and leave before i can get irritated about them : )
    • beaker95
      Do you want a hug....?
    • Linda Joy
      But not this one! She's special!
  • Well, currently there's just me and Captain Meow. I've only ever seen him get irritated when I dont drop everything and get him gushy food immediately upon his asking. (Although one time, when he was young, I cut one and he ran quickly away, far far into the other room! (but I don't think it was because my flatulence frightened him, he just suddenly remembered something he had to do.)
    • beaker95
      How does he ask for food? How old is he? Why does no-one like you? Why is it called "cut one"? Where does he do his business? Can you pleasure yourself in front of him without feeling any guilt?.....??????
    • Mr PantsFellDown
      LOL. Well...1) He asks for food by walking up behind me, as I sit at the computer, and jabbing me with one claw, repeatedly. Doink doink doink! ..This doesn't hurt a lot, but you dont really want him to keep doing it, and he absolutley doesnt understand the concept of "wait a minute". (He'll just quickly go doink doink doink again (When they get hungry, it's NOW.) 2) he will be 9 years old on Halloween (he's a black cat born on Halloween and no one wanted him because even people who know better than to be superstitious somehow still aren't comfortable with a symbol of bad luck and witchcraft. But I think he's beautiful, and tell him so every day, and he responds by giving me detailed instructions on how to kill the...oh wait, no he DOESN'T do that. Yea. That's right. Actually he purrs (and then it's really hard to tell what he's saying) 3) Every carpenter knows, you measure twice and cut one. It's standard procedure 4) He...wait..what business? Oh ploppers? LOL I keep his box in the bathroom. And yes, on occasion, we do have a double header. Although when it's just pee, I cant help from looking over at him, and going "Ha HA! Mine's bigger than yours!" To which he mutters something about "I'll____you later, human!" (either that or he just goes meow)(yea he probably just goes meow the psychiatrist says) (Wait. How would he know that?) (Man, Captain Meow's been talking about me behind my back again! *sigh*) And lastly ....as to pleasuring in front of him..uh..I do remember having to curtail my usual auto-erotic schedule for almost 3 months, when I first got him, as there was a danger of him clawing at anything that moves, and he was just a baby so he went EVERYwhere with me. NOW he's - in human years..- almost 60 I guess, so he's all "been there, done that, seen it.... and just wants to nap in peace. So I could probably bring a sheep in here even and he wouldn't care too much. ...just sorta open one eye..and think "pthht!" and close it and go back to napping. Wait did I say sheep, Oh, I meant soft fur covered wanking device, yea. That's what I meant *waves watch to hypnotize you* "You didn't hear any of this. You think I was trying to sell you encyclopedias the whole time...*
    • Mr PantsFellDown
      Oh I missed a question! ("Why does no one like me?" *sads*) I left all my friends behind, when I moved away to the dirty smelly city, so I could make retirement work, without a car which I can no longer afford. I hate it here really. So..though he's just a cat (as most would say)...I treasure that Captain Meow is always so happy to be around me, because if he wasn't here, I would surely have to walk down the end of the street and hire a hooker to tell me how great I am and that life wouldn't be okay without me (and then go away, because I wouldnt touch any of the girls on this street with your schwansticker! (They're what we call crack hookers. They go around approaching strange men all day, charging the price of a packet of crack cocaine, for a BJ. And I just cant imagine being able to get up, never mind off, because they're very unhealthy as a result of their lifestyle. Captain Meow though...well, I had to take away his allowance because he was spending it all down there, and coming home reeking of Dunkin Donuts and dollar-a-gallon perfume.
    • beaker95
      Didn't the internet kill travelling encyclo-whatsit salesmen as dead as a hippo? Thanks for your response, once again. Do you suffer from "blister-fingers" what with all your speedy typings? Why don't cats shit outside, like Eskimos? Do sheep have tight vaginas? As usual, you make me laugh, you make me cry, you make me feel like I have clean insides. Remember, I stole your watch last time you waved it at me. I cannot be hypnotised cos I wear glasses and sport a beard.....
    • Mr PantsFellDown
      LOL, actually I do have an unusual keyboard problem. I wear the letters off the keys within 6 months of buying a new keyboard, and had to start coating them with little squares of laminate (plastic), to stop that from happening. It seems I secrete acid through my fingertips (OR it's those vandals again, using sandpaper on my keys and giggling about it as I sleep) (It's definitely one or the other)
    • Mr PantsFellDown
      Sheep's vaginas are tight if you're a big man, loose if you're not. ..Um, someone told me. *very shifty look indeed*
    • beaker95
      I think I saw you on "Alien"......were you the Priest who secreted The Virgin Maggie with your acidic finger.....? I am a big man, but my pecker ain't.....would the sheep mind....?
    • Mr PantsFellDown
      Oh no! The sheep is appreciative of any attention she can get! In fact..hey wait, you're trying to trick me again! Em...ermm..What sheep? There's no sheep here! "ba-ha-a-a-a-a-a!" Stop that Captain Meow! (He's always doing sheep imitations, trying to get me in trouble) *shoves actual sheep (gently) into the closet, for later*
    • beaker95
      Do they have animal welfare officers in Nevada....?
    • Mr PantsFellDown
      Yes, but in Nevada it's considered a wholesome activity. (This is after all America.) (ok, I'm kidding, actually such an act would get one a year in jail, here. BUT.. they DO encourage boys to screw donkeys in South America) (They do!! It's on youtube, but I shouldn't provide a link, it's disquieting. (Okay, well if you insist on looking for it, the video is called "Donkey Sex The Most Bizarre Tradition". It's about a film maker who heard of this and decided it would be a hilarious documentary to make, but when he got there and saw actual love in a man's eyes, for a donkey, behind a bush, well...instead of the laugh he expected, the look of dismay and trauma on the filmmakers face was priceless! (The film isn't porn, it's a documentary. And any nasty bits have been covered over. But still..wow!
    • beaker95
      If it ain't porn, it ain't worth watching....
    • Mr PantsFellDown
      That's the attitude that brought us cable...
    • Linda Joy
      Now it's your turn to answer your own question Beaker!
    • Linda Joy
      What about when you did have one, Mr. Pants?
  • He is enjoying the "journey" as he calls it. He is not living in Piss Village. There is NO destination, none, he just wants this to go on and on and on. Forget that, I'm not going to live the rest of my life in this environment, alone waiting for a phone call that never comes. All the secrets haver been for a reason, whatever he gets of of this, makes him happy. Just the fact I can't say it to his face and am forced to share it online is sick.
    • beaker95
      Don't Stop Believin'.....
    • Linda Joy
      Take care of you Boo! No one else is going to put your needs first if you don't! You are worth it!
  • My 'creative cooking' haha. I'd substitute what I had instead of what the recipe called for. Apparently he didn't dislike it bad enough to get up and cook for himself. My frugality. That I didn't cower and fear Him. That he couldn't control me. We married too young we were 18 and 17. I'm amazed it lasted the 12 years it did. We learned a lot together. I wish him a lifetime of happiness... somewhere else!

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