ANSWERS: 1
  • As far as a regular boyfriend I was oh 52, he was 29. He was very manly and attractive and made me feel special. As far as regular sex 56 and 17 or 18 and we didn't really go out but he would come over after dinner. I was pissed off at my husband. Great once he got the hang of going longer which took a couple of weeks. And when I was young I did sometimes go out with much older men so the age difference was fifty or fifty-five years. Which included sex but it was more just giving myself to them for their enjoyment.
    • dorat
      In another answer, I mentioned how the woman I met, she was 62, made me feel. You said the 29 year old you dated made you feel special. How did he do that? What did he do, both in terms of the way you related and sexually. I was always a little surprised - at least when I was 23 - that I was able to impress this older woman who seemed so much more sophisticated than I was. I tried to show I was interested in things she cared about - and I don't doubt that played a part in it - but how we ended up having sex and basically dating for a year and a half to this day surprises me. You also said that the 17 year old you slept with was good after he learned to slow down. In a way, I always felt that the woman I dated sort of mentored me in what a woman expected of a man sexually - was that something you did? (I never thought that she did it overtly, but I learned from her and found that I was trying harder to please her.) One last thing, given the 17 year old's youth, how did you make him feel special. To this day I can remember that the woman I was with always seemed to be telling me how I made her feel good. (She was the first woman I can ever remember saying to me the exact words, that she loved feeling me inside of her. ) If you were to put it into words - forget that maybe the thrill is gone now - how would you say having sex with a young man differed from that of sex with a more mature man? Sorry, lots of questions, but talking about my "April-December" relationship brought back a lot of memories.
    • officegirl
      Looking back I would say Dan just loved women and knew all the right things to do and say. Sexually it more like he mentored me! I had dated younger men but always felt either uncomfortable with them or that they wanted more from me than I was comfortable with. Dan was handsome, friendly, funny, had impeccable manners, and a good job (investments). I guess I set out to sort of play catch-up and on meeting him after we talked for a while I let him know I wanted threesomes and small group things. So he called a close friend a little younger than him and within an hour or so we were all together at his place. And I guess they enjoyed my company enough they wanted to be with me three or so evenings a week. Which eventually evolved into another friend - Ari - joining us and then Stephen's younger girlfriend Mara. So I was enjoying them three or more nights a week and I just found myself falling for him. He knew how to do things like give me little glances or make little asides that set me apart from the others. And I remember for instance once he was going with Mara (who at that time had never had an orgasm with intercourse) but his eyes found me and he sort of grimaced like how long do I have to keep this up? And afterwards he would stay and we would hang out and talk and he asked me a lot of stuff about myself. He loved that I had been a hippie and he wanted to find out all about that. So after a week or two we were a couple and having just one-on-one as well as everything else. He wanted me to learn new things and he was perhaps the first boyfriend who encouraged me to try different things. Like he would make suggestions many of which embarrassed me and I would say I am not going to do that - but he would have a way of persuading me. And a lot of them I actually enjoyed. Like he would take me to a bar and give me or sell me to someone for the evening and sometimes more than one man then he would come with us and coach them with me! He liked to see me with younger men. But when I told him I liked men more my own age he helped me set up and host my first multiple men evening I organized myself. Which is what got us into Friday night swinging. Which of course made me jealous because all the older ladies (my age and younger) loved him. Or he would have an old friend stay with him and invite him to have sex with me. With him in control I enjoyed almost everything. Once we went to the mountains and met these two young women who of course loved him and probably would have done whatever he wanted. We all had a foursome that evening at our motel and he got all three of us off plus I digitally brought the heavier one off holding her in front of me while he was up me from behind. But eventually he was more interested in being with other women and when I called him on it (which I knew he was to some extent all along) he said OK we will break up this weekend. Which - I was shocked and hurt but knew it had to be that way. I met his new love and I could see she was very serious about him. They soon married and last I heard had two kids. Guess I don't think so much in terms of "April- December" but when I hit it off with someone I just want to be with him. (new paragraph) The kid on the bicycle lives in our neighborhood and we had hired him to do some work for us and he started just hanging out with me - I was just trying to be friendly and encouraging - and things got a little weird before I realized he was trying to come on to me. Which of course I was flattered by but which I did not take seriously. But later when Gerry was staying with that woman who had been living with us - I had made him throw her out when she started trying to throw her weight around in my house but he thought I was being too harsh on her. So after that when the kid was working here I sort of put myself in front of him and when he started coming on to me again I quickly acquiesced. That was me teaching him about myself. We never went out or
    • officegirl
      I see my comment exceeded the legal limit so was terminated in mid sentence.
    • dorat
      Thanks Officegirl. Sorry to be so late in responding. My gf and I had our "anniversary" weekend and just got back this afternoon. (I'll spare you the details, save to say that we had a fantastic time. We saw a play at the Kennedy Center (Shear Madness) and had a superb dinner at a restaurant called 1789. She looked gorgeous - and she tells me that I dress up pretty nice, too. We also did...other stuff, Yes, I know, you're thinking sex. We did that too, but I was talking about looking into her beautiful eyes, holding her in my arms. Shows where YOUR mind is at. That was a joke.) Anyhow, having just gotten back, my brain is not yet full engaged. It is funny how we sort of had mirror opposite experiences. He taught you, she taught me. We actually did a few threesomes with a younger friend of her's, but she generally wanted sex to be just the two of us. The thing she seemed to enjoy the most was sucking my dick and then she would let me cum all over her. She loved that. I don't know, I was in my early 20s and there was a lot I did not know. To me, she was sexually experienced and she would tell me what she wanted, but always seemed to satisfy me. It's funny, you talk a lot about a generational difference. I didn't notice that with her. I'll never forget one time. I would come over after work and she would have me get out of my clothes - we worked in a PR firm so I was in coat and tie during the day - and sit with her on the couch in my underwear watching a movie or talking or whatever. (Usually she would cover us in a blanket and she would be in a bathrobe.) One time her son, who was older than me, came by the house to pick something up - he didn't live there - and there his mother and I were on the couch and all she said to her son was, "Hi honey, it's (- whatever it was) - in the basement." She didn't seem bothered, Her son seemed unbothered, smiled at me and gave me a cheery, "Hi," and although he could not see that I was only in my underwear because of the blanket, he could certainly see I did not have a shirt on. Yet neither of them seemed to care that there was this (at least half) naked 23 year old kid sitting on the couch. THAT was not a reaction my mother would have had, that's for sure. Anyhow, thanks for your insights. I hope all is well. Oh by the way, I saw that your response ended in mid-sentence, any chance you remember what you were going to write?
    • officegirl
      Thank you I had tried to answer your queries but I guess wrote too much as a lot of it never posted. I will try to pick up the thread. Recounting being with the neighbor kid which was mostly sex - he would to my back door on his bicycle every evening about 7:30. - and a little conversation. I was teaching him what worked with me. As I would do with any lover who did not figure it out for himself. After a few times with me slowing him way down he asked me if I ever had an orgasm and told me no one he had been with ever had. In response to which I told him yes I have lots with the right treatment and told him I needed a long time and steady slower fucking to get there. Which he was very happy to do, then I told him how to calm his mind to delay his ejaculation which he caught onto right away though took a couple of weeks and perhaps ten or so times together before he got it well enough that with me pushing myself I could start orgasming with him. Which once he saw what he was capable of I became his plaything and he loved bring me to more and more Os which was fine with me!. Then he wanted to do different positions and learn to go down on me and he fingered my G-spot (which interestingly most young men even down to age 17 and 18 know all about but men over say 45 know nothing about!. Because my generation did not grow up with it - I should say we knew something was there because of what we felt in certain positions but we did not utilize it consciously. I have only been able to find mine a few times on my own. A boyfriend oh almost 30 years ago did find mine once but was not until I was with Dan that anyone was able consciously to give me a G-spot O - which he did with a combination of fingers and when I got close tonguing my clitoris. Have always meant to show that to Gerry but there has never been the time or the inclination on his part. But young men almost invariably finger my G-spot as part of FP. (new paragraph) My younger stepdaughter Marlene who was living with us at the time was somewhat amused by the visits of my young lover. Although she was mostly not there and never intruded at all but she may well have listened or peeked in at some time or other as she had on occasion done when I was with her father or we had guests. But her attitude was sort of "OK go for it girl" which was a lot because she took my side in the dispute with her father . Which was - she took a long time to warm up for me and she almost idolized her father and was working for him at that time. But she felt I had every good reason to order Gerry's "mistress" out of the house when she started trying to throw her weight around in terms of how the house was run. Was really sort of novel how it came about - but Gerry was staying at a motel with her but returning home for meals and to visit me . Eventually when she saw he would not leave me she took up with a younger colleague of her husband who I had been with in conjunction with her husband for a while a year earlier. And she lived with him for a week of so until her husband finally came and collected her. Seemed to bother him her being with his underling but not while she was fucking Gerry who he respected.
    • officegirl
      Now as far as your last question about being with men of different ages. I am drawn to and naturally give myself to men of any age. And certainly I feel more comfortable in general with men my own age. But as most men get into their mid 50s they do sort of slow down sexually. I am speaking very generally. Are less interested in lovemaking as often and become less aroused as far as the size of their swollen cocks. So they more run out of steam - arousal - and I need to do different things and make different choices to keep them interested in prolonged intercourse.. OK Gerry and some other men I have been with though in that age group have or had not reached that point as yet. As well I have noticed that into their 60s and beyond even guys who were great at prolonged intercourse seem to get shorter-timed so they do want to finish sooner. Not sure if this is because of insufficient arousal or they can't hold an erection as long. So the way I am I am happy just giving myself but if I want it to be more about my pleasure (orgasms) then I do need most of the time 15 or 20 minutes steady fucking so in, say, the half-hour that would be max being with men my age I am going to get there only once or twice. With Ford my Friday evening date I do a lot squatting and kneeling on him which is sandwiched between his fucking me to an orgasm or two initially and ending with anal until I come after which he does. So roughly about half or more of that is me doing what works for me and he is more the passive partner. Though I should explain we do play little games as part of it. Gerry mostly gives me I would say 45 - 50 minutes usually in different positions so after each time I orgasm he will switch me to another position so I do usually five or six times. (new paragraph) Now with young men , or younger men, they are more easily and readily aroused and stay that way if they have learned to. be with someone like me and I love the feeling of just letting myself go and not having to push myself at all but just giving myself and feeling and letting my Os just come naturally when my body is ready. This is about what I get to with Gerry but I need two - three Os to reach that higher level of arousal. Which of course is easier with young men who have the vitality and energy and general horniness to keep interested and keep going with me. And as I am sure you know younger men are soon ready to go again which I am always ready for.
    • officegirl
      I am trying to think of how to express this. You know I have been seeing a client colleague some afternoons - he is older and yesterday I had my first O with him. Which was - he was up me from in back, I was on my knees and the angle was - he was hitting a really good feeling place and I was all his because of it ad I knew if he kept going I would come which he did and I did and it was very powerful and one of those like cervical Os that start there and hurt before dissolving into the pleasurable contractions. I guess I couldn't help myself moaning and vocalizing because he knew I was coming which brought extreme tenderness from him and he was almost in tears. And he had never asked me about that nor had he tried to do different things to help me get there but it was just a matter of our naturally adjusting ourselves to each other. Which, before, I was OK I'm going to stop seeing him. But now because I have felt him like that there is more binding me to him. Though he knows I am a married lady just as he is married apparently to someone who has never had an orgasm with him. I love that he finds me sexy and exciting such as I am which he really seems to - which at least works for him which of course gives my self-esteem a big boost. Now I seldom have an orgasm like that with anyone regardless of age although in terms of quantity of course I am going to more with younger men who can keep going longer with me. And because of that I get into that high state of arousal where because I am going off regularly the quality of my Os in general is very high though of course they do vary. Even if not as I guess you might say "earth-shaking" as what I felt with Henry yesterday. There are ( I'm sure you know all this) smaller and more local ones as well as leg-shaking and body-shaking ones and whole body-feeling ones as well as the kind of stinging one I had yesterday. With my husband last evening I had several in basically ascending intensity but not approaching the kind of implosion feeling I had earlier in the day. So the answer is Dorat that I gravitate to young (younger) men for the repeated orgasms and higher level of arousal they bring me. Which is why multiple men activities became so attractive for me. With a single lover going with me for say maybe two hours I have had maybe fifteen or eighteen Os . With a group of young men who know what they are doing I can have just dozens and I want more and more. Until the point the soreness and weariness begin to have more effect than the pleasure! I come alive with younger men though I feel more for men of my generation because we have grown up and lived with the same things and attitudes etc. And just wanting to give myself whether out of love or compassion or friendliness or wanting to please I am not consciously expecting anything more. But of course because I am a very sexual being and I respond sexually there is a lot there that is capable of happening and I am capable of feeling. Which applying ourselves does happen or sometimes not even trying to. Which is one of the great things about it and why I tend to be so receptive to someone's advances. (new paragraph) It is wonderful to be young and just fuck because our bodies are inspired to whatever the consequences - and the orgasms are part of parcel of our whole being drawn to one another. Which is I guess what we mean by passion. However we can't depend upon that so we learn to be more calculating and how adjust to someone and give and take with them physically so it all works - this is true of most relationships and much of it is instinctive. But the older I get the less of the former is available to me so the more I am part of crafting my experiences so they become as good as I can make them.
    • dorat
      Thanks Officegirl. That was a really interesting answer - and I am not just saying that. I don't have many other questions to ask, but you hit on something that I've thought about. As I get older and can't perform sexually the way that I used to, how will my gf react? She is like you - very sexual - and I love her so much. The idea really scares me that when I can't satisfy her the way I used to, that I might lose her. I've talked about feeling jealous - but I can control my feelings I think in part because I am sexually very aggressive. I am a healthy male who can satisfy her need. When I can't be, I really think that it will be harder on me to handle that jealousy. Sounds like huge male insecurity, I know. Don't get me wrong, it is not that I think she will stop loving me. Just that she will no longer want me for pleasure and that I won't be able to please her. (We are years from this as we are both still relatively young, but I can't deny that the thought has crossed my mind and it kills me to think that she will no longer find sex with me as special and fulfilling.) You know enough about men that you get how important that is to us - and that counts for me, especially when sex means so much to both of us. You, though, if I understood you right, have given me a tweek to think about. You enjoy being with a young guy because you can just sort of give your body to him and not think about it, However, if I read you right, although older men don't satisfy you in the same way, you get pleasure in that you make more of the experience. You used the word, "calculating." I assume you mean that in the positive sense of looking how to make the sex special. I get just wanting to hand your body over to be used - I know when my gf just uses me for her pleasure I am in heaven. However, when I work at it, so to speak, I don't think of that as any less - in fact in some ways it can be more. This is not the clearest I've ever written, and I don't want to take too much more of your time, but just let me know if I am reading you right here. In a nutshell, to vulgarize this somewhat, you get a certain intimacy by working at the sex, even if you lose some of the sense of carefree indulgence. This is not, generally, a case of one is better than the other, just different. Do I have that right? Thanks for a really interesting answer. You obviously took a ton of time on it - got me to thinking - and you actually left me with a lot to work with. Really helpful. P.S. Also responded to your interesting reply on incest - http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/3496800. No need to reply but I just didn't want you to think I ignored it because I was out of pocket for the weekend.
    • officegirl
      Thank you for your nice comment and there is so much to talk about there I would get no work done. Sex and aging which I am facing full on if I take time to think about it. But I have for several years now. I would guess at one time couples just became very familiar with each other so as they aged the sexual tension lessened and they became more like friends (hopefully). and sex just diminished and finally ceased. That was natural. Dorat you two are still young - my goodness. So enjoy being young. Some people continued sex into old age but I would guess not a lot. Then sex became less taboo and personal as a subject for general conversation and women I guess like myself learned to see themselves as more sexual beings and became more active while men focused both on their own pleasure as well as on our's as well. So we all came to expect more of sex and the marketplace bloomed with all kinds of therapies and devices and plans to enhance our sex lives. I think at one time few women would have remained sexually active even to my age (59). But I was single into my 50s and became used to a certain lifestyle part of which I tried to carry into my very late marriage. Now I know, from what I have read, my own experience, and talking to older people on the old AB, that some couples in good health continue satisfying intercourse into their 80s. And I have chatted with friends on here in their mid 80s who continued sexual activities of different kinds after intercourse was no longer possible. One very good friend was dying and continuing to bring his wife to orgasm - they were both mid 80s - orally on a regular basis and they had been married since the 1950s. So there are different things that couples can do. All the male enhancement drugs now such a lucrative business go to support I guess a combination of male vanity and female pleasure but not sure in what proportion! My understanding is they are harmful to health so I would not ever ask my husband to take any of them. As I wrote to BeachNikki I would rather have a healthy husband than a hard one if it came to that. Which is why I think it is our responsibility not to want or expect too much from our men as they age. Which I know must sound positively ironic coming from me. I have led a very self-indulgent life in many ways and I have loved every minute of it but becoming older I knew what was more important to me than sex was the security of a regular loving partner which I would have gone for without the sex. Of course in Gerry I basically got both to my extreme happiness. But we have discussed the future and he has told me he would be OK with my having intercourse with younger men. Which is very polite and noble and self-denying which is the way he is. I was born at the right time to enjoy in my maturity the I guess I would call it cultural sexualization of older women. When I was young most men did not consider a woman of my age at all sexy but that started to change oh maybe twenty years ago and by the time I was in my mid 40s I started getting more attention from young men than I had even had when I was their age! I think that enthusiasm has possibly run its course now or just I am receiving less attention which I think is natural as I age. My goodness I look like someone's grandmother - and indeed I am a step-grandmother.
    • officegirl
      I have known and heard from men who have expressed, often in quite desperate terms, their despair at the loss of powers they had so taken for granted when they were younger. And in some cases begging me to tell them what they could do to reverse their aging. Which of course I am not an expert in. But I really think when we place so much emphasis on sex in our lives we short-change ourselves as far as learning other ways to relate socially and intimately and to connect with others. OK I admit I have been the great offended because of my interest in and posting about my personal life. But I am thinking we need to make friends with our partners and discover how many other things there is to enjoy with them besides just sex. I am fortunate in that Gerry and I are friends and that has always been the basic nature of our relationship sex or no sex. Though he thinks about sex only a limited amount of time - much less than I do - my activities with others still causes him to view me through their eyes I guess as attractive when he feels the desire himself. We have gone for months without sex with each other and in many ways become even closer just by doing things together such as shopping, going to concerts and operas, plays, and just hanging out and talking about various things. Which is very fulfilling for me . But its my stupid persisting self-doubts about my looks that more lead me to desire sexual attention from men. Which of course then feels so great I want more. (new paragraph) Older and aging men have not been sexualized recently as we have been and so many men become depressed and disaffected early on in life and turn to drugs or drinking which just makes things worse for them. They give up - don't even try any longer. Which is too bad because most of them really have a lot more to give but they get so discouraged and disheartened. I j know because I have dated and had more casual but continuing relationships with them. So I had to learn to be the active one and instigator in squeezing out of them whatever there was left of their male sexual drive. Guys in their 50s and some quite successful but to whom sex was something they had just given up on. And I would guess that for some of them when I stopped seeing them that was it for them. Please I hope I am not making myself sound arrogant. Goodness knows older men are attractive and they have really learned to flirt and God knows we want them up us but they are no longer capable of intercourse but if they have remained active they are accustomed to doing other things with us. Which I think we need to accept and value. When the time comes I think I am going to get my husband a large strap-on dildo for him to use on me. Because I know they work!. And for someone who is not good at oral or digital it still would offer the feeling of his getting me off which is important to me.
    • officegirl
      I try to think of how men must feel . Some have told me they had given up on sex in their marriages or in life but being with me they were overjoyed they were still capable of those feelings as well of using them to give pleasure to me. Which of course does wonders for my self-esteem just their saying those things. And makes me love and desire them more. Someone like you Dorat as you are into seeing your natural sexuality as "dominant" may I guess experience feelings of declining self-worth as it necessarily lessens with age. More so than someone like Gerry who more viewed his sexuality as just in the context of a close relationship until he met me - but still it has less relative importance for him than for you. But I think certainly men are lots more interesting than just sex and just a man's experience of any kind has meaning for society and the more he ages the more experiences he has had. I think it is a matter of keeping ourselves active and vital in life and in good health. Long as we have interests and enthusiasms and reasons to happily awaken and get busy in the morning we can live good lives for ourselves as well as for others. And so is not necessary for you to dominate us sexually or give your gf 16 Os or deflower seven maidens every day. Goodness for you - you already have three children which is a matter of posterity and which should make you proud in a certain way. Meanwhile you have years of sexual activity to enjoy together or with others if you two so choose.
    • officegirl
      Later - you wrote that a "certain intimacy" vs. "carefree indulgence" which is not exactly what it is but I think that comes close. Please understand - and this not entirely only age-related - but deciding to be with someone if I am doing more than only giving myself for his pleasure, that is if I want it to be good for me as well sexually then I am, both automatically and instinctively as well as consciously, adjusting myself and my mental as well as physical state to him. So in the way I hold him, the angle I put myself in for his movements, moving myself against as well as in response to him, in what I think about - sexy thoughts, fantasizing, reliving and remembering past experiences, sometimes constructing whole mental scenarios, visualizing - you know I can tell from within the first couple of minutes whether or not I will be able to orgasm with him if he keeps going, so if not I adjust to something, a speed or angle, more congenial, and meanwhile I am visualizing my coming orgasm as a balloon out at sea and I am on shore and doing what I can to make it come closer and closer to me on shore by thinking sexy thoughts and situations until eventually it is there! - and I go over. Then when it runs its course and I come down I come down to a higher level of arousal than I started with at the beginning so the next one I don't have to think and push and direct so much . And so on until at the higher level of arousal my mind is blank and I am just feelings and responses entirely automatic. OK I guess you get I am basically pretty attracted to most men. Sorry to be vulgar but if you lock me in a room with any guy eventually I will probably end up fucking him. Of course he would have something to say about that himself but the chances are we would eventually do it because we are just F/M and that is what we do. When the attraction between us is very strong, and this is what I mean by there being some "chemistry" involved - well then I don't have to think it out or work on it so much at all or push myself but we just fuck and keep going and it all just comes from that. Which is why I asked those questions about how much we push ourselves during sex which none of the other ladies has cared to answer p perhaps because they never thought of it in those terms. But with my husband, most boyfriends, most lovers, I am in there pushing myself at least to get going. The greater passions or "chemistry" I am just fucking and I don't even think about my Os coming but they just come. Which I guess generally they would anyway eventually if I did not push but just would take me lots longer if I got the time to get there at all. I have always been very sensitive about taking fifteen or twenty minutes to start orgasming because I know men can become bored with me which is why I do things like give them "progress reports" and stay good stuff to them about how great they feel to keep them interested and going with me. So from your point of view what you write is true - the process of adjusting myself to them - as they would hopefully to me - becomes more the basis of the give and take of a continuing relationship. Whereas just the blind fucking when I don't need to do that there is not that give and take to bind us so it tends to stay more just on the sexual level which is possibly why for me those kinds of very passionate affairs have never led to anything really lasting in terms of relationships. In many ways they are pure ego but that ego so dissolves during there is nothing there! And in some cases I was unattached but he had a girlfriend and by the time they had broken up and he was more interested in something lasting with me I had moved on to someone else.
    • dorat
      Thanks. There was a ton there and I am not sure that I have fully grasped it, Certainly it will bear re-reading. Just a few things, not all directly related. Yes, I realize that I am young yet, and a long way off from having to worry about my declining sexual abilities. Also, I fully agree with you that there is more to a relationship than sex. (As I think you can see from the way I talk about my gf - and I don't know if you ever saw the note that she wrote to me on this site - we love each other. Unfortunately, one of the downsides to discussing any topic on this site is that it tends to magnify whatever we are discussing. The obvious case here being is that it looks like we are interested in nothing but sex. However, as with you and your husband, we both know there is more to our relationships than just sex. Still, as you know, sex is important to a man in the sense that it is how we show love. My gf and I are even a bit libertine when it comes to sex, but I always knew that I could please her and that by doing so I could show her how much I love her. For whatever reason, with what you wrote, it hit me that some day I won't be able to do that - at least not in the way that I used to. That divide that exists in your mind between sex in love is a lot blurrier for me (as I think it is for most men, though I could be wrong) - and therefore when I can't perform anymore I will have to rely on someone else to please her and that hits me in the gut. The funny thing is that what you wrote made feel both better and worse. Still, it was an amazing insight, and I genuinely thank you. As to older women, as I think you may have read elsewhere, when I was 23, I had a relationship - very much including sex - with a 62 year old woman. I thought she was fascinating and sexy and honestly, I thought I was in love with her. She did so many amazing things for me. She taught me so much and in bed she made a 23 year old kid feel like a man. It was an amazing relationship in so many ways. That's why I always get a little - I don't know the word - alarmed (?), annoyed (?), whatever when I hear you knock yourself down. I guess that there is not much that you can do about the effects of what your life was like, but I bet, without knowing you, that you are a fascinating and interesting person - look at what you wrote here - and also a really hot and sexy one. You and I have had our moments - I don't know how I will ever explain to you what I mean by "sexually dominant male" and I don't know if you will ever stop getting annoyed with me - but I bet that if we knew each other that I would have sex with you in a heartbeat. No flattery intended. You have so many qualities that I admire (culture and intellect and a gift for forming thoughtful opinions) - and believe it or not, in some ways you are not unlike my gf - and you are so sexy, that I can imagine myself in bed with you in a minute. That, in a weird way, is why I also look to the day when I can no longer satisfy her sexually with such dread. She'll always be my best friend - but I also want to say that she will also always be my lover. It is easy not to be jealous now when I see another man pleasure her - and we don't do that so much these days - because I think, in a way, anything they can do I know that, at least with my gf, I can do better. When that is no longer true, it will be hard to deal with. Anyhow, I suppose I could add more, but we have a sick little boy in the house and daddy promised to read him a story so I have to go. (Oh, by the way, you also hit on something else. I love my kids with all my heart and would do anything for them, but I was impressed that you understood what fathering children means to a man in an instinctive sense. That demonstrated real insight. In that connection, sex with my gf when she was pregnant was some of the most memorable sex we ever had.) Anyhow, thanks for a really interesting discussion.

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