ANSWERS: 1
  • (unrelated: I have some updates on me and Jasmine, if you wanna hear them.)
    • dorat
      Sure, just put them under this question or tell me where to look. Hope it is all going well - and sure glad that my question does not relate to anything involving you. You are a bit young for that. Hope to hear from you soon. Please note I may be delayed in replying again as it is the weekend and I want to spend some quality time with my family. (I just happen to be up now because my younger son - who is 6 - woke up and wanted a drink of water.) Let me know.
    • WorldOpenSkies2222
      Well, it was lunch time at school and I saw Jasmine across the hall, and she was alone. Eventually I decided to go talk to her, and so I did. We had a few nice conversations (pets, our lives, etc.), and at one point she asked if I had ever had a gf. I told her no, and after a brief period of awkward silence I timidly asked her out, and she blushed bright red and said, "Yes." So now we hang out with each other every day, and for the past 2 days we've been holding hands a lot. I always get butterflies in my stomach whenever I'm around her, and she says her heart always flutters whenever I am near. OMG she is so cute and I really like her... Is it considered "creepy" that I masturbate while thinking of her... like I am doing now?
    • WorldOpenSkies2222
      *I think of her while masturbating. Grammar error.
    • dorat
      Two things - first, congrats. I don't know what kind of money or transportation you have, but if possible, take her to a movie or something. Make sure, also, that you compliment her on her looks or what she wears or something like that, Remember, women tend to be verbal - so the compliments matter. However, guys tend to be more gesture oriented. Helping her with a project and taking her out - really good ideas. (Besides, after taking her out or after helping her with something she needs help with, you may get you first kiss out of it. Worth a try, no?) Second point - quit worrying about whether your masturbation habits are normal. First, insofar as we may say that she is your gf it is pretty normal to be sexually attracted to a girl you are dating. Second of all, you are 14 - all that stuff I mentioned about your hormones and sperm and all the rest are true. Basically, at your age, you should be masturbating at a newspaper advertisement. Relax. Of course, you should not tell her. She has no more reason to know the sexual habits of 14 year old boys than you do 14 year old girls. So she might be a little put off by that. That kind of talk you keep in polite company and as you grow closer, maybe you'll get a bit more intimate. Only time will tell. Anyhow, genuinely happy for you. You seem like a good kid. I have two little boys - 7 and 6 - and I hope they grow up to be as pleasant and friendly and well mannered as you are. One last note, though, pal. I am happy to talk about things with you as much or as little as you like. However, don't forget your parents. They care about you and love you and want the best for you. I will always give you my best advice, but your parents know you. Obviously I don't know your parents, but don't shut them out. Of course, no kid wants to tell his parents EVERYTHING - let alone when it comes to sex - but trust me, when questions come up, or even if it is to tell them that you have a gf (or whatever you call each other at this point), they will never steer you wrong and will be happy that you trusted them. Sorry for what I hope you will NOT take as a lecture. I am very flattered that you have confided in me, but at your age, your parents will always, in many ways, be your best and most trustworthy friends and as far as you can, you should try to follow their advice. As I say, I have two boys and a girl, and I know that I would always want them to know that they can trust me and come to me. Okay, all done. Congrats again. We now return you to your regularly scheduled sexual fantasy.
    • dorat
      P.S. One idea from my misspent youth. This being January, this may not be a very practical idea right now, but if you live in southern Florida or California or Hawaii - if you live in Hawaii, I am supremely jealous of you - a beach date (an indoor public swimming pool is also an idea if you live in a colder climate,) always worked for me. It was relaxed, informal and fun, you could bring a picnic or just buy stuff at the beach or pool. A good time at minimal cost - and hey, you get to take your shirt off and show her your manly chest. Couldn't hurt, right? Anyhow, this may not be a practical date idea at this time of year, but keep it in your back pocket. Again - congrats, pal. The lady has good taste.
    • WorldOpenSkies2222
      Thank you very much, and you have been a big help. :) Of course I will still talk to my parents about most subjects, but there's a few I'd rather not discuss with them about, you know? :P Also, I live in Tallahassee, Florida. I also took Jasmine to a movie yesterday (she really wanted to see... um... can't remember the name of it), and we had a really good time, and she asked if we could hang out tomorrow at school during lunch hour. (Of course I said yes!) Yup... life is going good. :)
    • WorldOpenSkies2222
      Also I no longer have any worries regarding my masturbation, and I managed to come up with a "schedule" of sorts - once in the morning, once in the afternoon whenever I can get the chance, and once at night (and I might do it in a few minutes), or just whenever I get a boner in general, which is quite frequent these days. :P So, uh, yeah, masturbation is going great, I'm totally happy that I discovered it, and it always feels totally awesome. :) Like, I'm having no more issues with me not being able to orgasm, and I've also learned to control my body so that I can truly enjoy myself and not climax too quickly. :)
    • dorat
      That's great news, pal! You deserve someone special in your life. I hope things keep getting better and better. Also, of course I understand not wanting to discuss EVERYTHING with your parents. A certain amount of privacy is perfectly understandable. Just realize that your parents will likely understand more than you might think. Trust me, your parents - especially your dad, who was a young boy once, after all - got there before you did. One last thing - and I don't want to hit this one too hard - but putting yourself on a schedule to masturbate is not exactly "healthy." You are still worrying about it too much. Look, masturbation is NORMAL. Wanting to do it - a lot - at your age is perfectly normal. However, if you are so preoccupied with it that you are building it into your day on a regular basis, that is not so good. Nothing to panic about. It does not mean that you've gone round the bend or anything, but it does suggest that you are preoccupied with it. Masturbate when the mood hits you - which at your age will be a lot, that's not abnormal. However, you should round out your life. Have hobbies, other guy friends, your NEW gf is really big, schoolwork. Believe it or not, there should be times when you are so busy that masturbation, even at your age, will fade to the background for a bit. The rest - no longer having issues with orgasms - is actually really good news and really normal. In evolutionary terms, masturbation is how a male learns to develop his sexual feelings and technique. Some day, when you meet that special girl, you will have a sense of how to have sex because, believe it or not, you sort of self-taught. (Don't get me wrong, the only thing that will help you please a woman sexually is time with a woman, but again, in evolutionary and psychological terms, this is how the human male gets his sexual start, so to speak.) Anyhow, this is nothing to worry about - I promise - and I can certainly understand at your age enjoying masturbation so much that you want to make it a regular part of your day. However, you need to relax. Masturbate when the mood hits and the time and place are appropriate. Don't turn it into a production, though. In fact, to the extent that you do, you may make your sexual technique worse down the road. Your mind will get used to a pattern and then when you need to have sex spur of the moment, you may find it harder to do. For what it is worth, pal, you and I are a bit alike. I am a person that is fanatically punctual, that likes routine - though having three small children has taught me to be more flexible - and I am, in many ways, as predictable as the sunrise. However, that can go too far and become unhealthy. There is no hard and fast rule I can give you, but you need to relax and learn to round out your life. Think of this. The time will come, when you are older, when you will wake up with that beautiful girl - that special someone you talked about - next to you. (Who knows, maybe it is Jasmine. My brother ended up marrying his high school sweetheart. It is not likely - you both still have a lot of growing to do, but it is not impossible.) Sometimes you will look at each other and you will want sex and you will make love to her and it will be wonderful. Then other mornings she will have to leave for work, or you will have to get to the office. Then other times that baby you made together will be crying because she had a nightmare and you will stagger into her room to comfort her like a good dad should. No sex that day. That is what life is like. Let me make a recommendation. You enjoy masturbating, so some morning soon - don't. Get up, take a (cold) shower, do your homework, or whatever. Funny thing - but it is an investment in your future. Teach your body that it cannot always have sex, and in the long run you will have better sex. This won't be easy, and you will often find that you are aroused and that it is hard to think because all you want
    • dorat
      (Oh, and yes, the less you masturbate, the more you will tend to find that you wake up in the morning with wet pajamas and a smile on your face. Mostly we don't remember our dreams, but on those rare occasions when you remember your wet dreams, you will be happy. Trust me. Been there, done that.) Oh one last thing. It turns out you and I have something else in common besides being a bit rigid when it comes to routine. I used to work for the Member of Congress that represents the area just west of where you live. (Ft. Walton Beach, Pensacola, that area. I also, at one point, worked for a Member who represented the Orlando area and I have relatives in the Hollywood-Miami area.) So, I have Florida connections and I know the area where you live. You are too far north to go to the beach in January. Too bad. However, when the weather is warmer, you and Jasmine are going to have a fantastic beach date - assuming you find the transportation to get you both there. Those are beautiful beaches. It'll be great. The sound of the surf, Jasmine in a bikini and she is looking at your shirtless manly chest. Lucky guy. She'll be totally in love. (Kidding - then again, maybe not kidding.) Congrats buddy and if you like, feel free to keep in touch, though never forget that your parents are always your best source of advice. P.S. Unrelated topic. You once asked a question and said that you regretted that you were breast feeding till age 7. You never explained why you regretted it. If it is not too personal, I was just curious why you regretted it? No need to reply if it is too personal.
    • officegirl
      Never been in precisely that situation though I believe that kids cannot be separated from their parents so they come with them. I raised a former boyfriends three kids though they were older and continued to after our relationship was over for a while as he was hospitalized. My husband has grown children and I try to help them as well as enjoy them as friends.
    • officegirl
      Comment to WorldOpenSkies - No there is nothing really creepy about masturbating thinking about us. Although sometimes we may say it is "creepy" really that is flattering to us that you like us enough that you do that. But we want you to go beyond just thinking about us and masturbating to really getting to know us and asking us out and having relationships with us. so within that frame reference when you just sit alone it does seem a little "creepy" because we want you to connect with us.

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