ANSWERS: 3
  • I have seen my husband with other women and I want him to enjoy them just as I enjoy men. And of course sex is sexy. But unless I am also occupied I do start thinking well she is younger, sexier, more sensitive, has a better personality, nicer hair, makes him feel more manly, he desires her more than me etc. So when we have done same room we have paired off w/ another couple or has been two or three on the woman who is our guest and then on me. But mostly we do separate rooms or separate houses or venues. My husband at their home, her husband with me at ours. That works best for one on one sex.
    • dorat
      Thanks for your honest reply. It sounds to me, though, that your husband got in you a "good catch." I am sure that he knows how lucky he is to have such an open and generous person at his side and that "the other" woman is mere entertainment. You are the love of his life. I'd bet on it.
    • officegirl
      Thank you that is very nice. Much more complicated than that. Gerry and I have enough going for us we enjoy and feel good about to want to stay together. He grew up much more "straight-laced" than I did very oriented toward success and responsibility so meeting me - I think there was so much going on between us that he just accepted my historical lifestyle as being something new and possibly liberating and he has been able to enjoy it but don't know how comfortable he is with it and has been mostly me encouraging him which perhaps I have done a little too much though I have tried not to. Honestly I feel guilty being more used to attracting play partners while it is not anything he does naturally. So I have sort of found people for him I think he will like once he gets to know them. And that has happened more than once or twice. He is very protective of his women and mostly they have to be more to him than just play partners So he has to think there is more there in order to be with them. Which is - I think very touching. He was married before for twenty + years and they loved each other and have two wonderful daughters so part of him will always love her. Which I think is only natural. The first year or two I used be deathly afraid they would want to get back together - their divorce (which happened long before I was in the picture) was very acrimonious but later after she had married again they started seeing one another occasionally. She has told me that the divorce was a mistake but she got so caught up in the drama and the hurt. But dorat time moves on new people entered their lives and they are not exactly the same people as they were when together and she has learned to accept and embrace someone else (oh they are business partners too - big real estate operation) just as Gerry has been changed by being with me. They are friendly but no longer even see each other. Sorry to always go on so much about myself.
    • dorat
      No, not at all. Very interesting. You say it is "complicated" and I see that it is - though where sex is involved, when is it not? However, I don't think you give yourself enough credit. First, you enjoy sex - and having one friend who has not had sex from his wife in four years (1), that is more special than you know. Second, he is staying with you. Your sex differences make that even harder, but he is with you in spite of the fact that he is working every day with his ex and that you have given him carte blanche to be with other women. You are "a catch" if I may say - and speaking as a guy I think he sees that, too. I bet that you are sexier - and that he loves your openness - much more than you appreciate. Thanks so much for your honesty.
    • officegirl
      I'm sorry dorat it seems you are commenting on someone else's comment. Or perhaps I have not made it clear to you. Where did you get that friend who had not had sex with his wife in four years" business? Not from me I don't think. I have seen men who are no longer intimate w/ their wives but don't think I have posted anything about it on the new AB. Secondly somehow you seem to have got the idea that my husband and Hope his ex work together - they don't and never did. She is in real estate and Gerry has an environmental solutions business. She and her current husband who she married as soon as the divorce was final combined forces into one agency and her youngest daughter (with Gerry) works for them. Thirdly no one else lives with us at present. Gerry's youngest did live with us for a year or so and the only man who ever stayed with us, and this was only weekdays for a couple of months, was a friend (and lover) we hired to do the electrical upgrade we needed when we first purchased our home in 2011. I had met he and his wife when I was single and and we did engage in some regular group play with other people. He gave us a really good price and really wanted to help and Gerry thought it would be foolish for us not to take advantage of that resource. Barring some calamity Gerry and I are together "till death do us part"!
    • officegirl
      ladyEmma and I used to chat a couple of years ago on the old AB - did you know that? Reading her comments I remember exactly who she is and remember chatting privately with both her and her husband who is really nice. She said we had but I think I was confusing her with someone else. I wish I had been more like her when I was young. I got the feeling if she were in a room no man there would even look at anyone else. Lots of people like that are really stuck on themselves but she is very friendly and humble and honest - my kind of people. We are so fortunate in having her on here.
    • dorat
      May have misunderstood you. You wrote this sentence: "(oh they are business partners too - big real estate operation)" Your antecedent was not clear and I assumed you meant that he was still working with his ex. Which, as far as I could tell, was a good thing. Better an amicable divorce - especially where children are involved - than not. My remark about my friend's sexless marriage was intended as a compliment to you and your husband. You are both obviously healthy sexually, and he is a bit more restrained but you have made it work. THAT is a VERY good thing. As my friend can attest, it is not assured. As to the rest, I didn't make any assumptions about who was living with you or anything like that. Anyhow, I have a lot of respect for what you and your husband have. Believe me. You may have read more into what I wrote than was there. Be that as it may, read my second line: "However, I don't think you give yourself enough credit." Nothing negative in that.
  • I've done this and I do find it sexy. A little background: I was very into casual sex as a young lady. In college I really enjoyed the attention I received from guys, and I liked the excitement of having sex with new people. I've been with dozens of men, including some threesomes. My husband on the other hand was much more conservative sexually, only having been with a few girlfriends in serious relationships. Our sexual histories were totally opposite, but he was very understanding and accepting of my past sex life. And when we got engaged, I figured he was going to be only man I'd sleep with for the rest of my life, and I was more than fine with that. So quite a while after we were married he expressed interest in my threesomes. He wanted to know more about my experiences and he wanted to try it out. He had never of course done anything like that before, so he was intrigued by my past. And part of him also felt like he wanted to experience everything I had done before with other partners. At first, I thought maybe it was more that he wanted to be able to have sex with another woman, but he generally seemed even more interested in having another man join us to have sex with me. I thought it over for a while. I certainly didn't want to risk any harm to our marriage. He didn't push for it at all, and he seemed very genuine about it all. We eventually gave it a try, first having another man join us for a threesome, and then having sex with other partners together in the same room. It's not something we've done a lot of. We're certainly not regular swingers or anything. But we have had sex with a few other people together that we met, felt comfortable with, and mutually agreed upon. It's been very sexy and has really spiced up our marriage.
    • dorat
      Thanks. Our situations are somewhat similar - although both my gf and I had been pretty sexually adventurous before we met - in my case with, at least in one case, not a particularly good result as I have written elsewhere on AB as you may have seen. We also, in the very earliest days worried about how our openness might impact our relationship, but ultimately we found we trusted and loved each other and wanted the sex for each other. In fact, in a funny way, as we became less interested in doing other partners and more interested in sex with each other - no matter how adventurous we were in that context, i.e. sex on the beach, a little bit of bondage, she got me a prostitute for my birthday one time - that's a long story - etc., we came to realize just how much we meant to each other. It - weirdly - helped us. (Which, at least statistically, was beating the odds.) However, the gay sex surprised me. As you may have seen from my posting elsewhere, it had an unexpected emotional dimension. I wasn't in love with the guy - and in fact had to tell him a few times that I loved my gf and was doing this because she asked do little of me that I wanted to satisfy her fantasies. However, I did feel an emotional closeness to him. It may just be because the sex felt better than I expected. However, I liked holding him and kissing him. We could talk about "guy things." When we decided to end things - and he was very understanding about it - I found I missed him a bit. So, I guess my question to you is, given that you, like me, value your relationship to your s/o, did you enjoy the homosexual sex you had - and did seeing him have gay sex turn you on? (I watched my gf have sex with another woman only twice and it made me horny as hell, but it was different in my case because my gay relationship went on for two or three months.) You say it spiced up your marriage - but I am asking, I guess, how it impacted you as a person? Forgive me if that is vague and I appreciate your honesty. Also, which did you prefer, the threesome with the guy or the girl - and which did he seem to like better? Of course, please don't feel obliged to answer if this is too personal. You've been great in your honesty and I really appreciate it.
    • ladyEmma
      I may have misled you a little with my answer. We have had threesomes, and foursomes I guess you could say, but my husband hasn't had any gay sex. When we've had other men join us, it's been about two men (hubby and the other guy) pleasing me. I myself have played a little with the women who have joined us. I haven't exactly had any one on one sex with other women. It's all taken place with my hubby present and participating. It's mainly been kissing, fondling each other's breasts, and rubbing each other's clits. But for me, it does feel nice being intimate with another woman in some way. I very much enjoy it, but it's something far different than what I feel when I'm with a man. As far as how it impacted me as a person: I'm not really sure. I guess in a way it actually made me feel even closer to my husband. Sort of like we felt so much love and trust for one another that we were secure enough to let one another satisfy some sexual urges with other people if that makes sense. As far as which threesomes we preferred in regard to a guy or a girl joining us. That's tough to say. They both had their own great benefits. My husband really enjoyed the visuals of seeing me with other men. And it gave him a sense of adventure and having experienced something I've done with others in my past. He was very secure about the whole thing, but I think it also brought out a competitive edge in him perhaps. Afterward, he seemed to have stronger erections and an even more powerful sex drive than usual. He did perhaps feel some awkwardness and tension at first while getting naked in a sexual setting with another man there with us. It was mostly the two of them taking turns with me, and me performing oral sex on the other. When it's a threesome with another girl, there is definitely less tension. And I'm comfortable with playing around with another woman sexually, so I very much enjoy that, and of course, hubby loved having two women satisfying him at the same time. So I would say, as for what my husband would prefer, that the answer would be that the visuals of seeing me with other men and hubby pleasing me with another man do more for him afterward if that makes sense. The sex we have together one on one after an encounter with another man tends to be especially passionate. But physically, he would much prefer our threesomes with another girl as he gets to be pleased by two ladies at once. And for me, I certainly like being able to have sex with two men at once, but there's something very kinky and exciting about having another girl join us, too.
    • ladyEmma
      Also, one question for you: You mentioned that both you and your gf had been pretty sexually adventurous before you got together. Had either you or your girlfriend had any experience with multiple partner sex/partner sharing before you were together? Had your girlfriend had any homosexual sex in her past?
    • dorat
      Sorry to be slow in replying. Thanks for your answer. I had multiple partner sex a few times. My college roommate and I and three girls we had met at a party was the most. Mostly it was us being pleasured by the women. He and I did not do much which each other as he was really twitchy about it. I did suck his penis a bit and vice versa, but it was short and actually not much fun. Then I dated a gal who was really into threesomes - but always with another woman. With her, we had threesomes a few times and bluntly - I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but interestingly I knew she was not the girl of my dreams. In any case, my first and only gay sex experience was the one my gf set up. The weirdest thing I ever did was in the Amsterdam red light district. Yes, I had sex with a few of the prostitutes, but the weird part was I went to a bar that had a sex show - with audience participation. Reader's digest version: I participated. The girl came on stage pretending to be a magician. She picked me out of the audience. The "magic" was taking off my clothes in front of the rather large male and female audience. She then sucked and stroked me until I shot my load. (I got an award for shooting the farthest. My guess is that every guy who did it "shot the farthest.") Then she put me in a cage - which honestly worried me a bit as my wallet was in my pants on the stage floor - and released me later in the show and we had sex on the stage while the audience cheered and hollered. By far!!! - the wildest thing I ever did. For my troubles, as I mentioned above, they gave me as a prize a pair of The Simpsons boxer shorts which I still have. As to my gf, she had some multiple partner sex with other women involved, but a one on one homosexual relationship? Honestly, I don't know and I don't think I ever asked. The jealous male animal in me was more worried about other men I guess. I'll ask her. Anyhow, as you can tell, I certainly played the field a bit - and as I think I mentioned, it did get out of hand. Having an affair with a married woman. Not good. Getting her pregnant - worse. The only good that came out of it is that, in the aftermath, I met the most beautiful girl in the world and I will always be grateful for that.
    • dorat
      By the way. I agree. One of the funny thing about the sexual things my gf and I have done - gay sex and all the rest, is that I realized how much my gf truly meant to me. I was a little jealous when she was with another man. Yet, I trusted our love. I realized how much was at stake and yet I knew she loved me - and that the best sex was the sex I had with her. Funny thing, I really realized that for the first time when we were having sex while she was pregnant. She was 8 months along - I remember it like it happened yesterday - with our first born. I was looking at her and her belly and I was inside her and it was like, "Omigod! I am having this amazing sex with a woman who loves me so much that she is carrying my baby. She is giving me her naked body and she's beautiful and she is all I ever needed. It will never be better than this" Yes, I know. You are thinking - pure mush - but I meant and felt every word of it.
    • ladyEmma
      I love mush! And if anything is worthy of being mushy over, it's this. The love of your life carrying your baby must be a wonderful feeling. That is so sweet and romantic how you describe your feelings of making love to your pregnant girlfriend. My husband and I don't have any children, but I would imagine he would be feeling the same thing if I was carrying his baby. Again I have no experience in this area, but I would imagine the love a man feels for the woman he loves, carrying his baby, has to be incredibly powerful. On another note, you did indeed have some very wild times! Wow. That was a heck of a story from Amsterdam. It had to be a rush having sex in front of all those people. I can't say I've done anything that wild, but I certainly have my skeletons in the closet. I had some wild times, had sex with people I shouldn't have, but it all lead me to my wonderful husband. I felt guilty about how sexually charged my past was compared to his, but he told me he fully accepts it because it shaped me into the woman he loves.
    • dorat
      You are sweet. I am total mush about my gf - and believe it or not, protruding belly and everything - when she was pregnant I never thought she was more beautiful I wanted her so much. I'll stop now, though. You are being so sweet to listen to my rambling. I don't know if you guys want to have children - and of course, not every woman likes sex during pregnancy. For my gf her sex drive seemed to increase and it really drew us together as we prepared to be parents for the first time. You said that a man's feelings for the woman he loves and who is carrying is baby is very powerful. I can attest to that. That primal thing again. My male need to make babies and have a legacy I guess. Funny thing was, though, my gf told me she felt it too. Not only did she want sex physically, I remember her actually crying she was so happy and moved. It was a total sharing of our bodies in a way that I can barely do justice to. I hope - if that is what you want - that some day that you get that blessing. As to Amsterdam. Yeah, my moment in the sun. Part of the story I didn't mention, I had not actually planned to go to the red light district. However, I took a day and took the train to The Hague and while on the train I met this young British guy and we got to talking to pass the time and he talked me into going to the red light district and said he would go with me. So we parted company and met up later back in Amsterdam. We saw the club and it had a sign that said "Audience participation," "Wonder what that is about?", I asked. He said, "Let's check it out." We were a little drunk, I should add. Not much, but not sober either. So in we went, the show started and everything happened as I described. After we left, he was like, "You were great, mate!" and I was at my studly most macho and saying, "Yeah, I know my stuff. I had her wrapped around my finger." (Keep in mind, I was 25 at the time.) Then I woke up the next morning. Suddenly sober. THAT is when the word embarrassed REALLY came to mind. "Oh dear God, some guy I met on a train and a bunch of strangers watched me have sex and get rewarded for shooting cum at record....." For an hour after that I was like, Please no one recognize me. Please. Don't tell my family." Now honestly, I don't know who I thought was going to know me for Adam, let alone tell my family an ocean away. It's funny in its way, but I still sort of turn beat red when I think of it. Anyhow, ditto on the skeletons. We are both lucky that it gave us the s/o's we have. Who would have thought it would work out like it did. You were wild and I - well I think I told you the story - got better than I deserved. I am a tough political guy, but I still like a happy ending and I got one. You did too. Good for us, right? Speaking of which, gotta run. I hear the pitter patter of two little feet. The other two pairs will follow soon enough and the gf has earned her sleep-in time so I am on deck.
    • dorat
      Quick follow-up answer. I asked my gf and she had never had sex with another woman except as part of a threesome. (She had done some threesomes before we met.) She said she would have tried an exclusive sexual relationship with another woman, but for whatever reason it never happened. As far as with other men, when we did things with another man, I was always in the room. I would do stuff with the guys, but as I said, the only exclusive homosexual relationship I have ever had was the one my gfd set up for me. My winner is still the sex show in Amsterdam. Runner up was the time my gf got me the prostitute for my birthday. It really is weird having sex with a prostitute in your bedroom while downstairs your gf is cleaning the house, watching television and breastfeeding your baby son. I've had an interesting life. That's all I can say. Anyhow, great chatting and I just wanted to follow up - belatedly.
    • Beach_Niki
      Lady Em, your answers and you are too sweet! You are right, having another guy does bring out the animal in our hubbies. I remember the first time hubby and I swung with another couple. The sex was great, I enjoyed having my fantasies full filed and being with both the guy and the girl. Hubby loved the attention from two girls, but the minute they left, hubby pounced on me and the sex was so intense. I swear it felt like his cock grew an extra four inches! It was power, intense and soooo erotic! Sex with others is great, but sex with hubby is the best!

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